@n-in-out.bsky.social If your CEO gets in on this burger product review and he DOESN'T shove the entire burger in his face like a rabid beast I will be *very* disappointed.

Why are we like this? Convo I had with @concaveusurper.bsky.social

Be me, sitting in our driveway in @concaveusurper.bsky.social's car, after raiding a gas station for hostess goodies. I have selected the ding dongs. She offers me a chocolate donette, I turn her down. This bitch. Looks at me. And then. She offers me a tra-la-la. I proceed to choke.

This. Ironic, isn't it?

Me, being handed a dirty diet Pepsi and noticing it's served in a purple coca cola glass: You know this summons demons right? Corporate ones. My sister, shrugging: I just wanted to try it in a fancy glass. My roommate: Ì̴͚͉͇̾͝a̶̘͓̙̠̓̄̕͝ ̷̛̫͎̩̣̈́͗i̸̭̭̯̠̝͙͛͝a̵̳̲̤̳̮̱͂͌̏̍̽͛,̵̢͙̟̉̽̆̚͜ ̷̢͈̯̺̓c̵̳͉̗̭̍͐͊̿͜ó̷͎͙̒̾̄̌k̶̩̜̠̰̜̏́͌̑͌e̸̙̊̄ ̷̝̓̒̈́z̸̧̝̪̻̤͓̋̄ē̵̲̫̥̯̗͙̕r̵̛͔̆̀͜͠ơ̸̠͖͊̽̚ ̷̧̭̬̬̗́̅f̴̮̤̣̳̀͜͝t̴͉͛a̸̭͗̎̓̃̉͝ĝ̸̳̤͗̈a̶̢̱̠͇͇͛̎̏̂̕͠ͅn!̶̘͕̎̀͒̈́̂̐ͅ Me, laughing: SHuT UP!!

@concaveusurper.bsky.social Oh shi-

so I'm sitting in the Laundromat and my clothes just summed up my fkn life rn

Fledgling (2/14)

Hey @jasonkpargin.bsky.social , my friend @concaveusurper.bsky.social just broke down how weird it is to advertise new TV's on TV. Thoughts please?? Because it really is!

This just in: Deep Dish is now the official pizza of the Vatican, all other pizza is banned.

So I'm watching @concaveusurper.bsky.social play this farming sim called Coral Island and I swear about 80% of the men are just different flavors of Markiplier. Am I losing it?? Y'all can see this, right??

Presidents Day. How many are rolling at 10k rpm in their graves you think? We could probably harness that in some sort of energy thing right?

Y'all being sick with a sinus bug is the worst- tried to clear it up with buldak noodles and it only gave me half an hour of relief where I could breathe through my nose. I will pay for this dearly later on.

Me and @concaveusurper.bsky.social : Kat: "How could you not recognize Justin Timberlake!?" Me: "Dude, THAT was Justin Timberlake!?" "Yeah!" *She shows me picture* Me: "He looks like a discount Hugh Jackman." Kat: *loses it*

#TeamDonut @concaveusurper.bsky.social

Retweet to save an artist's life

UNOWN COOL S

Breakfast of champeons. Habby butterkek season everybodies

So. How are we all doing?

You know that feeling when you manage to shift money around your accounts in order to pay your bills on time and come up with a whole dollar and some change left until payday next week?

So there's like a thing called "streaming" that I'm gonna be doing more often. Also I guess there's been some sightings of me on a few podcasts? Wild.

FIRST! That's how this works, right?