Alas! It’s the 400th anniversary of Francis Bacon dying because he tried to stuff a chicken with snow by the side of a road in Highgate 🧵

Y’know what’s weird…there seems to be sfa articles hitting the mainstream on how Israelis feel about the atrocities their government continues to commit in their name.

Even the red pandas get it.

"If you were my wife, madam, I'd throw you out of an airplane." "If I were your wife, sir, I'd jump."

Wordle 1,754 3/6 ⬛🟨⬛🟩⬛ 🟩⬛🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🙄

Omg. Don’t look outside. You’ll be tempted to put your Christmas tree back up.

These fuckers are so weird.

Spring nights are a thing of beauty.

Tonight’s viewing - one we haven’t seen before

The absolute humiliation would be sweet if it wasn’t for all of this utterly unnecessary horrific everything. None of this had to happen. But one rancid, vapid, maniacal man, devoid of all humanity, just fucked his own country up its arse & took the world along for the ride. What a fucking loser

Has a movie been made yet about a crew of 4 astronauts who are having a lark about in space and taking pics of the moon, and are about to head home when a megalomaniac sociopath starts a nuclear war and destroys earth and they gotta find somewhere else to go? Crazy idea, I know.

Tomorrow’s Mirror:

He plays the world for a fool. Rolls a bowling ball of terror & shortly he'll pull back, declare himself the hero dealmaker & brag endlessly about bringing the world back from the brink of nuclear war. Y'know, the war he started & could end any minute of any day. Tomorrow: lather, rinse, repeat.

Can somebody please tell me what this is? Gah There have been a few flying around recently and I’m wondering if some kind of bugs were dormant in my overwintering plants and have just woken up. 😬

Wordle 1,753 3/6 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩⬛⬛🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 👍

There have got to be some in this madman’s inner circle who will stop him…right? Right?

The Viking longcar was once the scourge of European roadways.

Christ almighty. You can't even leave the fucking PLANET and escape his incessant ranting and raving.

How much to get him to come to Winnipeg?

This hasn’t updated yet. He actually has 97 points.

I’m happy for Scheif. Given what this season has been, pretty sweet numbers.

I am pleased with this one.

Jimmy is not to be ignored.

Fuck Right Off

Jimmy says boo to Mondays and the cold. Huzzah for nuts.

Wordle 1,752 5/6 ⬛⬛🟨⬛⬛ ⬛⬛🟩🟨⬛ 🟩⬛🟩⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 😡

Imagine trying this with a cat.

Almost as good - nothing can top it - as Naomi Wolf pining for the tranquility of Belfast around the same time.

Wordle 1,751 6/6 ⬛⬛⬛⬛🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛🟩 ⬛🟨⬛⬛🟩 🟩⬛⬛⬛🟩 🟩⬛🟨🟨🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Good lord

Happy Easter, and happy memories of Suchard’s 1982 Doctor Who Easter Egg whose packaging designers didn’t quite think it through.

Today I learned I can read German

Sweet Jesus, The Mummy Returns is beyond godawful. Make it stop. Please.

I am sorry, but imagine having the name Scott Bottoms and entering the world of politics. Every Sun, Daily Mail & NY Post headline just writes itself.

Well that’s that. I’m going back to sleep.

Haaland celebrates like such an absolute twat.

Well that was just stupid VVD.

Wordle 1,750 5/6 ⬛🟩⬛⬛🟩 ⬛🟩🟨⬛🟩 🟩🟩⬛⬛🟩 🟩🟩⬛⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 4 words that haven’t been used before, and 1 that has. Fucking stupid.

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me. It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

Post a perfect movie

This really says it all.

“Boy, everyone’s really out wandering the streets tonight. … I tell you, Charles, we’re getting to be real home zombies.”

you, a naive fool: i do believe there are some things the nytimes won’t both sides the nytimes:

It’s Great Friday for some of us.

Me: so much to do, might as well get a little bit of work done today. Daisy: I’m sorry, what?

Wordle 1,749 4/6 ⬛⬛⬛🟨⬛ ⬛🟩⬛🟨⬛ ⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Of course. 🙄

Folk-Inspired hand painted eggs by Dinara Mirtalipova, self taught illustrator and designer, born in Tashkent, Uzbekistan #womensart #Easter

Minion #1 comes in to bitch about a reffing crime in the Jet’s game. Me: who are we playing? M1: Dallas Me: it was 40 whatevs yrs ago today Dallas 1st aired! M1: *blink* Me: the TV show? Dallas? M1: *blink* Me: Dallas? The Ewings? M1: *roll eyes blink* Me: J.R.? M1: I don’t watch much TV

While his parents beamed, little Tommy Lundquist, future developer, surveyed the view from his newly constructed treehouse.

I just took a look at the forecast for the rest of the month and this has got to be complete nonsense