No one sucked harder than him… That’s why no one from the GOP will be able to fill the vacuum that’s left.

Time to get creative! We should unleash a BUNCH of bees

Kim Davis looks like Dan Aykroyd from Coneheads but with a wig and glasses

Breaking news: “Trump gives Alaska back to Russia”

If tomorrow everything went to a purely barter based economy White Americans would be SOOOOOOO FUCKED

Ok. Tell me what is stopping someone from doing this. If pigeons can be trained to deliver messages, can someone train like 1000 pigeons to just start shitting on the new White House “rose garden”? Unrelated question…can larger birds be trained to shit on a location and/or specific person?

So the same guy who insists he couldn’t activate the National Guard in D.C. on January 6, 2021 suddenly has the power to activate it today?

(Interviewing someone in 5 years) “I notice a gap on your resume in 2025, and you said that you were helping out with family. But I see your face on a former ICE identifying app/site. Can you please elaborate?” People tempted by big signup bonuses/perks…take note!

If I see ICE I’m just going to go full Aussie and yell: “What is the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent Mexican meal?" "Get your hand off my penis!"

I think it was god saying: “Missed it by thaaat much”

I think someone misunderstood god’s intent when that tree fell on him.

Welp. It’s been known for years, but I guess it’s official now. R.I.P. Austin being a cool city.

It feels like movie studios are doing more promos/interviews showing how the actors liked working with each-other as people , more than showing info on the film they are promoting. I don’t mind this type of manipulation.

Happy Tariff Day! Remember this day when you go shopping for the holiday season… …it ain’t gonna be pretty.

Hegseth looks like a lot of peoples first boyfriend who never left town and is now on daddy’s payroll at the dealership cuz he can’t get hired anywhere else.

Trump bringing back the Presidential Fitness Tests… That joke wrote itself immediately.

You don’t have low t…you’re just getting older. Fucking man up. Amazing how many dudes don’t think they are on roids just because a doctor prescribed it to them. We’ll see how poorly this goes in about a decade.

This country is currently a fart wrapped in turds.

Best commercial of all time (hyphen) pancake category: youtu.be/Gdu3hQVVDD8

If she gets pardoned, she will probably fall from a window, and she knows it.

Angry US civilian speaks out against fascist governor Ron DeSantis and his subservience to Jeffrey Epstein ally Donald Trump: “You bow down to a fucking pedophile! You’re a fucking pedophile! Donald Trump and all of you are fucking Nazis, fuck you all.”

Peter Thiel is really running out of friends.

Can’t spell gross old pedophiles without the letters G O P

If Maxwell is found dead soon, I’m pretty sure we can start calling Trump: The Grim Raper

Tusli Gabbard sleeps upside-down.

Even his Cankles know he’s fucked

It’s possible that goalposts get moved so far, and so often, that they start appearing behind you on the horizon.

I wonder if Chris Martin and Coldplay could be brought in for questioning during the divorce proceedings

Sometimes you gotta just run, then barf, then trudge through the negativity.

The U.S. should have a going out of business sale.

It would be so funny if someone just flew drones 24/7 around Trump tower that had projectors on them. But what to project….facts probably?

"Carter, who was known for wearing a red ballcap that read 'Make Pedophiles Afraid Again,' was arrested by the Aberdeen Police Department in late July 2024..."

Air Force One should be renamed the Fart Poop Express

Carter created the Epstein files!

By god, they cracked the code

Wouldn’t it be within a city’s rights to just happen to test their fire hoses at the same time, at the same place, as ICE just HAPPENS to be hanging out?

...

Pam Bondi = Carmen Sandiego

This is something

There's a lady on TikTok who has taken it upon herself to sit outside the concentration camp and expose those who are going in.

I think someone misunderstood god’s intent when that tree fell on him.

P S A

She’s right.

Butt honking

Gatorade Gulag is also an appropriate term

Mike Johnson was born in Kenya

To be “murkowski’d”: Example: If you see someone stealing your car, then you give them the key, then they run over. You’ve been Murkowski’d

Of all the things that humbled me, one of the biggest was having to visit hospice centers with my mom as a child. She was a social worker for end of life care, and sometimes I had to go with her. I think MAGA’s need to spend a few minutes in places like these before voting, on anything.

Ew! This country’s gone bad! Throw it in the trash!

What Lisa Murkowski didn’t mention is that her friend got her a summer job at the pool, so she’s like, really pumped about that.