Our 94 lb foster pup. Hes huge but we love him to pieces. I don’t think we will have him long. Hes far too adoptable to be with us for long.

Locked in my Bitcoin gains. I really don’t appreciate market volatility like this the actual fucking week I just retired.

Sent $1000 to Janet Mills’ campaign. It won’t do anything. She’s going to lose. But at least I get to say I tried to do something to stop an absolutely horrible candidate who is going to hurt the party. Platner is garbage, man. I also donated to Kenyatta and Lamb. Tried to warn ya about Fetterman!

I'd be more inclined to believe that Graham Platner is merely a dumbass if he was making different kinds of "mistakes" instead of one very specific type of "mistake" over and over

Tonight On Pod Save America: Graham Platner Has A Final Solution For Income Inequality

Ugh. The Graham Platner apologists are nauseating. “He was so young when he got a Nazi tattoo and kept it for TWO DECADES!!!!” I just can’t with this shit. Anything to avoid supporting an extremely qualified woman, I guess. [shrug]

Oh, am I buying gold today! Down to $5137? Yep. Big bet. 10% bet. With very high conviction.

Watching Hillary Clinton destroy Republicans in a hearing nourishes me.

I wonder how Smokey/JV/Billy/Rakesh’s (same person) long Micron and short gold portfolio is doing? Thoughts and prayers.

First order of business for my glorious retirement: binge all episodes of this season’s RuPaul’s Drag Race. Good season! Lots of queens vying for the win with no obvious winner emerging. I think I’m rooting for Darlene Mitchell.

I am retired. Hard to believe. A BA, an MA, a JD, a stint at the DoJ, 2 years in investment banking then more than a decade in the shark infested waters of Big Law before founding my own firm and then finally ending my career at a friend’s investment fund. I’m gonna sleep. Bye.

Highlighting violent crimes committed by legal immigrants is kinda wild when the percentage of crimes committed by all immigrants, documented and undocumented, is far lower per capita compared to US citizens.

Three more days of work until retirement. Excited and scared. Equal amounts of excitement and fear.

And another short on MU at $424. Gotta keep that small as well to limit the potential damage but I’m now just under 10% net short.

Small short on TSLA initiated at 407. LFG!

Conversation with my German father: “Dad, is sliding down a chute at the fastest speed in our DNA as Germans?” “It’s sociocultural. As for you, I cannot recommend that my most accident-prone offspring consider such tomfoolery.” Oh man. Brutal.

Goddam you, Olympics, for making me watch hockey. I hate hockey. I’m so bored. Go team! Do the thing with the puck!

Congrats to UCLA Bruin Alysa Liu on that gutsy athletic performance. I love seeing women triumph in sports. And yes, I cried. I’m a crier.

Private credit markets getting crushed. This is starting to feel very 2008-like. Shadow banking about to crater, which will trigger a credit freeze and liquidity crunch. Very happy with my 96% bond positioning at the moment.

Retirement dinner is tonight and I just got my gift from the office. A platinum and gold brooch of a bulldog with unknown gem accents. Nothing says “crazy dog lady” more than wearing precious metals in the form of a Frenchie. And yes, I cried when I opened it. I’m a crier.

This morning pre-market open the commodities analyst told me to bet the farm on a double-leveraged silver short. Um… I’m retiring next week, so no. I won’t be doing that. The double short would have yielded 8% today. lol. Dammit!

Kicking myself for not doing that short on TSLA at $430 like i almost did. Dammit. At least I’m nearly 100% in bonds. That’s a win.

Zuckerberg moving to Miami? I like Miami for a short trip. But that fucking heat. I’d rather take my own life than live in that 12-months-per-year heat. Glad to see the billionaires are destroying affordability in their new adopted state. More of that please!

I’m particularly thankful to (nearly) all elected Dems not turning their backs on the trans community as we enter the midterm season. Thank you. Human rights should never be a bargaining chip.

Let’s try this again. Near certain loss on Japan no for pairs skating gold priced at 11 cents. $200. Don’t expect to win but tbese finals have been absolutely wild so who knows?

Damn. Japan botched the lift. I just got very lucky on that no bet. Went from near-certain loss to near-certain win on the no bet. Cash out now or wait for my full $1,134?

My 15% no bet on Japan to win the gold in pairs skating is looking to be a loser. Farewell, $200. It was so nice knowing you.

These lifts in pairs skating freak me out. I feel like the women shouid be wearing helmets and body armor. I can’t enjoy this event. I get filled with anxiety during the throws and lifts.

So glad I didn’t bet any money on Ilia Malinin. I wanted to but the price was 88c for the gold. Wow. No one saw that coming.

Tara Lipinski’s name coming up 4x during that challenge shouid be irrefutable evidence that she’s not a traitor, but alas, Kristin and Mark are terrible at this game.

Unlocking a new level of degeneracy by betting $1K on women’s figure skating. lol Got Kaori Sakamoto for the top of the podium.

I don’t know how I managed this, but I somehow watched nearly every single event today in the Olympics. How is that even possible?

Watching the Canadian ice dancing team have a total joyous meltdown after their bronze-medal-winning free skate hit me hard. I spend two weeks crying most of the day during the Olympics. I love this shit.

Bondie’s response to Rep Scanlon just got my heart thumping and I started shaking with rage. This Bondi woman needs to be prosecuted in 2029. Her behavior is outrageous and she’s clearly serving the President while ignoring the Constitution.

Pam Bondi is absolutely shameless. Wow. I hope the tables turn on her in 2029. Tnis woman is out of control.

Doubled my BTC position to 4%. Averaged in at $70.8K now. LFG!

I have no clue what the goal of curling is. I’ve gathered that you want the stones closer to the center than your opponent’s stones? The scoring escapes me. I’m mostly just glad they seem to be having fun.

The Dunkin commercial nearly got me to turn my tv off. That was memorably terrible.

Went with a modest $5K bet on the Hawks on the spread. Lower bets are better for our boof pressure.

I’ve determined that alpine skiing looks absolutely terrifying.

I need more ice twizzling in my life. So much more.

Finished my run just in time to watch the men’s figure skating short program. Yay! People who don’t love the Olympics confuse me. This is amazing.

It’s that time of year where people who don’t like watching the Olympics really let you know how much they don’t like watching the Olympics.

Thank you Rob and Colton for being pivotal in getting rid of the two worst Traitors I’ve ever seen. Ugh. This season has been rough. No more Housewives ever again, please. They suck.

Fine. I bought Bitcoin again just under 75. Why am I doing this to myself? I enjoy pain.

I’m a crypto bro now. Bought some BTC at 75K. I think I’m going to buy an ugly vest to celebrate.

Stop calling kids “underage women,” you pieces of shit in the media. I’m tried of this whitewashing of pedophilia. Underage women are girls. Words matter here.

Dexter Resurrection is surprisingly good. I was not expecting this. The cast is kinda ridiculous too. They must have paid up for real writers this season.

Wait, did I accidentally time my palladium and uranium sales at top before tney cratered? Can’t claim to be brilliant on that one. That one was pure dumb luck.

The Fed chairman nominee is surprisingly… qualified. I was not expecting to say that.