CBP officers have shot two people in Portland, Oregon abcnews.go.com/US/2-shot-fe...

Doing a job application for a nightclub and they sent over a questionnaire that included “What does ‘responsible nightlife’ mean to you?” Like ohoho buddy you are about to read 5+ pages of response to that question

I would deeply love to believe that what Renee Good’s ex-FIL said about her son having “no one” when her wife is alive and well was uttered in sudden grief. I do not want to believe that after all this, the child and his living mother will have to go through a custody battle

Renee Nicole Good

the front passenger's seat and glove compartment are filled with a little kid's stuffed animals. i am shaking with anger

It is now confirmed from multiple sources that ICE shot a legal observer dead on Portland in Minneapolis between 34th and 33rd street. The victim is dead

Okay I have a legitimate question: is “sapphic” some kind of TERF dogwhistle I didn’t know about?

A disturbing number of you freely admit that you don’t brush your teeth 2x per day

lot of things i could say here but mostly i guess i would like to implore everyone to find a personality other than "least favorite roommate during a house meeting in portland, oregon"

Scarification at the Oakland dive

I think a lot of people equivocate high follower count with “must have lots of money” and therefore anyone with an account over like 3k becomes a stand-in for the ruling class. Therefore they rule you out as human and can be punished thusly

My Close Friends story of my tit scalpel art is apparently proof that I *need help* from Daddy Zucc lmao

Writing a piece about the irony of being someone who seeks sensory, sexual pain while continuously fumbling emotional pain. Revisiting the first time I ever had needles put in me and getting weirdly emotional about it

I have this pair of older dykes come into the bar all the time and I adore them. They had their drinks, left to have dinner, then came back and presented me and my coworker with extra food they’d ordered just for us 💜

I can't recall where this originated but I'll never ever stop laughing at it.

Expect to see a lot of this classic Onion headline, from 23 years ago, over the coming weeks.

if you are talking today about how bad maduro was and were alive, at all, during the run-up to the iraq war you are potentially the dumbest person to ever live

At the very least I think maybe post-Iraq they’ll have a much harder time manufacturing consent for this but that is about the most silver lining I’ve got

Hey y'all, please stop being racist as hell and saying the bombing of Venezuela is a distraction from the Epstein Files. People are suffering, you absolute fucking ghouls.

please be vigilant about what information you're internalizing and amplifying right now.

Remember how appalled we all were in 2022 when Russia completely unprovoked attacked Ukraine? That is what we’re doing tonight with Venezuela. We are the bad guys here. Everyone who supports this is supporting unprovoked murder. Fuck every last one of them

@cara.city: “Dialectics is doing two things at the same time” Me: “Oh okay so getting spit roasted is what Marx would have wanted”

I realized last year that I have much more success in alcohol abstinence if I don’t do a strict Dry January and instead adhere to the “one beer rule”. So that’s what we’re doing this month and maybe into February if that’s the vibe

??

Fight me

We're dealing with something akin to "dry drunk" behavior in Gen Z -- they're not involved in any fundamentalist institutions, but they act like they are, even when they insist that's what they're not. They want purity and holiness and perfection. They want polar good and bad. They're mad at nuance.

When I was a cocktail server in Chicago in 2017, Solange Knowles came in and they had me give away my other tables to take care of her. The kitchen fucked up her order but she still tipped 30%

Hi! if you’ve enjoyed any of my writing, performances or dj sets this year, i would greatly appreciate your support! it will be used feed myself and my son (cat with expensive dietary needs) ko-fi.com/janusrose

Okay so I have a general ask for 2026: if you are inviting me to an event where the food is a central focus (not like, drinks with snack bowls but like, brunch/lunch/dinner) it would go a hella long way to ensure there are things present that I can actually eat

I cannot stress this enough: going and doing something like this is a far better use of your time than arguing online about a primary campaign in a state/district where you don't even live. I'll be doing it again myself soon!

Can These Baby Gays Keep Their Shit Together and Stop Making It Everyone’s Problem: a holiday story, apparently

✨💫abolish health insurance💫 ✨

Hi friends, we’ve had a couple last minute cancellations so if you’re in the Bay and have been wanting to check this out, we’ve got about 7 spots open! RSVP: tinyurl.com/4pun9435

Shoutout to all the gay boys tn who kept coming over to be like “thank you soooo much for taking care of us, you’re so adorable, here’s $20”

The gay bar is playing the But I’m a Cheerleader soundtrack, merry Xmas

Help @cara.city’s apparent new pet name for me is “beautiful corn tortilla”

Betrayal! On the Lord’s Tuesday! (Sent ass shot to play party Discord and no reacts for 10 full minutes)

At this point I’m convinced that someone could run for, and win, an SF mayoral election solely on the promise that they will tar and feather every PG&E exec and parade them through the streets

Welcome to SF, highest concentration of billionaires per capita and sometimes the entire infrastructure literally fucking explodes

A large power outage is impacting San Francisco - only call 9-1-1 for life safety emergencies, avoid non-essential travel, treat down traffic signals as four way stops, keep refrigerator and freezer doors closed, and turn off major appliances to prevent surges.

I inch ever closer to “eccentric librarian in the Vermont woods” vibes

Yeah man, most of my friends have been laid off multiple times in the last few years alone, a box of blueberries costs $9, health insurance premiums are skyrocketing, and competition for *service industry jobs* is high rn bc no one can find any white collar work but, sure

that WSJ article about wheelchairs at the airport obviously sucks shit but it points to another issue which is Americans are so thoroughly worked over by constant and omnipresent scams that they now see anything which benefits another person as merely a scam that they are not in on

They should invent a fruit peeler that doesn’t want to murder that little patch where your palm meets wrist that’s impossible to bandage effectively

I have wanted a pair of Eccentric Auntie heart-shaped glasses for months now and tomorrow all my dreams come true

US House of Reps has passed a bill to criminalize trans healthcare for people under 18. This bill can be still stopped in the Senate, call/write your senators & ask them to oppose. Californians: @schiff.senate.gov www.schiff.senate.gov/contact/ @padilla.senate.gov www.padilla.senate.gov/contact/

It’s International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. If you’re unsure how to support, highly suggest giving $$ to a local SWOP chapter or, ideally, just paying the sex workers in your lives

I love makeup and have loved makeup for decades so here are small *very general* tips for navigating what you should invest in

Wicked 2 is a wonderful romp of escapism into a city ruled by a huckster carnie turned politician who singles out a class of citizens to make into enemies for his own political gain