🎅My spankin' new Christmas Venn has arrived🎅

Austin Christmas Eve Meme™

🎅 My Evil MoPac Merch Holiday Sale continues 🎅 Hats, mugs, shirts, and so much more...bangers, galore 🎄🤝🥂 Check it out here: evilmopacatx.com

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE FROM AUSTIN 🎅

SCOTUS may yet offer some restraint on Trump’s insatiable desire for more power. Though 3 Justices are always ready to allow his misconduct, a majority declared in today’s ruling that his regime “failed to identify a source of authority that would allow the military to execute the laws in Illinois.”

🎅So much holiday fun for all y'all 🎅 open.substack.com/pub/evilmopa...

I bought this shirt, and since it has arrived I cannot stop attracting super cool, attractive, and fashionable people. They all just want to hang out with me. Thank you @evilmopacatx.bsky.social. The only good thing MOPAC has done in my life.

🎅My Evil MoPac Merch Holiday Sale has arrived, y'all!🎅 The coolest anthropomorphic highway merchandise line out there, with all kinds of awesome gifts 🎄🕎🎁 Check it out here: evilmopacatx.com

Move to Austin❤️

Just got this notification. My business has a small shipment of Colombian tea currently in customs in Miami. We paid $965 for the tea. The Trump administration is taxing us an additional $142.84.

RIP Joe Ely. This is a gut punch. Damn. www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5zb...

Trump's comment about Rob Reiner, a beloved American, really demonstrates the rottenness of his character.

Rob Reiner (1947–2025)

The Blackland Prairie here in Texas covers roughly 18,750 square miles, or 12 million acres. It’s a surprisingly narrow but very consequential slice of Texas, once among the most fertile grasslands in North America, and now one of the most heavily altered by farming and urban growth.

🎄🎁 If you have some hard-to-shop-for friends and family members, there’s Evil MoPac merch! Get it while it’s hot! 🥵 🔥

The perfect gift for your friend that has everything, your transportation fanatic uncle, your asphalt loving aunt, or really anyone on your list.

Hey, #ATX ! Evil Mopac has a Merch Holiday sale! Git yer bumper stickers, t-shirts, hats, etc and show your appreciation for the unloveable highway. (Ok, the highway sucks. But Evil is mostly ok - for a highway with a social media platform.) His pizza reviews are priceless!

“keep austin evil” is so gooooood

I'll be driving up @evilmopacatx.bsky.social to get to the Open My World Holiday with the horses and trail of lights fundraiser later this evening and Saturday evening as well. Come check us out and help support a great cause

Yes. And please.

The perfect gift for your evil friends? @evilmopacatx.bsky.social open.substack.com/pub/evilmopa...

go home Rudolph you’re drunk

🎅My Evil MoPac Merch Holiday Sale has arrived, y'all!🎅 The coolest anthropomorphic highway merchandise line out there, with all kinds of awesome gifts 🎄🕎🎁 Check it out here: evilmopacatx.com

Some holiday fun as I dive back into the horrifying HEB Clearance Rack open.substack.com/pub/evilmopa...

feeling jealous @evilmopacatx.bsky.social? (h/t @pfadge.bsky.social)

"Just The Tip" except it's parking your ridiculous pickup

Authorities in Williamson County searching for missing 8-year-old girl last seen Friday

Happy WAR ON CHRISTMAS season however you celebrate 🚫🎅

Work for this story began in 2023 as part of a project by the Investigative Reporting Workshop, a nonprofit newsroom at American University. Students, interns, and editors over the past two years combed through more than 1,600 bills filed nationally since 2015. thebarbedwire.com/2025/12/04/a...

🎅MY HOLIDAY SEASON HAIKU ARE HERE, Y'ALL🎅 open.substack.com/pub/evilmopa...

AUSTIN IS MOIST AUSTIN IS MOIST AUSTIN IS MOIST AUSTIN IS MOIST AUSTIN IS MOIST AUSTIN IS MOIST AUSTIN IS MOIST AUSTIN IS MOIST AUSTIN IS MOIST AUSTIN IS MOIST AUSTIN IS MOIST AUSTIN IS MOIST AUSTIN IS MOIST AUSTIN IS MOIST AUSTIN IS MOIST AUSTIN IS MOIST AUSTIN IS MOIST AUSTIN IS MOIST

I'm cold come drive on me

🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻

A brand new Venn starring Thanksgiving Dinner, Driving in Austin, and a Colonoscopy

🦃AUSTIN THANKSGIVING EVE HEB SHORTAGE UPDATE🦃 The following items are confirmed to still be available: *Mink Nuggets *Vegan Lemur (Tarrytown) *Organic Acai Suppositories *Yak Taint *Ox Pepper *Creole Garlic Jelly Bellies *Assorted Skins

It's Austin Thanksgiving Venn time

The last time the Aggies beat the Longhorns in football, this is what the Austin skyline looked like

My latest "The 10 Best and Worst Things About Thanksgiving" is fun, free, and will get all y'all in the holiday mood🦃 open.substack.com/pub/evilmopa...

Austin swingers think they're 8s, but don't realize that's the total score for the couple

These will never not be amusing to me

Austin Forecast: "Heavy rain event for the next 48 hours, get ready" Austin Reality: One 30 minute banger storm hits during afternoon rush hour or 3 AM

Playing the hits

I don't do a ton of paywall articles, but if you're so inclined, I'm proud of this one (link, below, in comments).

Trying to think of something cooler than Willie Nelson playing a retired Texas Ranger on Miami Vice and I'm coming up empty

What Austin celebs look like they do for a living, Part II The fun rolls on... evilmopacatx.substack.com/p/what-austi...

NORTHERN LIGHTS ARE BANGIN IN AUSTIN

Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage

Now these are party ppl “organic penile girth injections,” and “aggressively targets pet waste from non-breeder dogs,” as well as “fired in 2023 for having “office ass,””💃🏼🕺🏼