Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage

Now these are party ppl “organic penile girth injections,” and “aggressively targets pet waste from non-breeder dogs,” as well as “fired in 2023 for having “office ass,””💃🏼🕺🏼

What Austin Celebs Look Like They Do For A Living: 2025 Edition, Part I You don't want to miss my new one that tells y'all what job bigwigs like Glen Powell LOOK like they would have open.substack.com/pub/evilmopa...

A post-election night chat with your Texas father-in-law

Texas Republicans after seeing California pass Congressional redistricting

Nine. 9. NINE. Nine Republican congresspersons have just been made lame ducks. In a congress with the thinnest margin in modern history. WTAF are those soon to be out of work people going to do in a congress running interference for the jackass that played chicken & lost them their cush jobs?

really obvious now why trump and the republican party have been working so hard to prevent fair elections lol they know

Election Night Update... Your Texas Father-in-Law who slobberingly supports Texas Republicans adding House seats for Trump without the public voting is appalled at California adding Dem House seats via a ballot measure election

Go vote or some shit

My latest Evil Austin Pizza Review has arrived: Loudmouth 🍕🍕🍕 open.substack.com/pub/evilmopa...

Not weirdly backing your vehicle into a tight parking spot is a genuine act of defiance in Austin

The Chili's at 45th and Lamar in Austin should have a Michelin Star

ATTN: Texans This means they know you've been texting while driving

It's almost Halloween, and my new one argues why this holiday blows the doors off all others 🎃 open.substack.com/pub/evilmopa...

Shooting at the Austin Public Library downtown 😓

Austin right now 💦

"Whether it's Obama turning a tennis court into a small basketball court or Trump totally demolishing the entire East Wing for a new $300 Million ballroom, I think we can all agree that these Presidents added their unique touches to the White House" -Washington Post, probably

Spooky Season 😱

🎃My latest is live and gives y'all the final 11 entries in my '31 Horror Movies for 31 Days' 🎃 open.substack.com/pub/evilmopa...

Austin cops with sirens on shoving F1 douchelords through downtown traffic like they're Secret Service is such arrogant shitbaggery I'm almost speechless, like fuck off so hard

Trying to paint angry grandmas, righteously indignant folks with quirky signs, and twerking inflatable frogs as criminals and terrorists is fucking pathetic and desperate as hell

My Austin-themed 2025 Spirit Halloween costumes are here 🎃 open.substack.com/pub/evilmopa...

100% Certified Fresh on Evil MoPac

It's 10:04 and OU still sucks

Texas State Highway Loop 1 @evilmopacatx.bsky.social

Here's a look at who is supporting & funding both the pro & anti sides of Austin's tax rate election. www.austinpolitics.net/whos-against...

TAINTLORD THUNDERDOME™

JUST OUT: Good news for the Holiday Season. AUSTIN HAS SUPER CHEAP HOUSING AND ZERO TRAFFIC OR TAINTLORD DRIVERS. Also, virtually NO EXPENSIVE BBQ, POSER DOMAIN BROS, OR 35% TIP SCREENS. THE BEST OF ALL WORLDS FOR THE A.T.X.

Mars was the Roman god of war. That’s why we say ‘martial arts,' ‘martial law,' and 'court martial.' Marshall was the Roman god of designer fashion at discount prices. That’s why we have Marshall’s.

Part II of my "31 Horror Movies For 31 Days" is Here (FREE) open.substack.com/pub/evilmopa...

Bitching About ACL Weekend 1 has officially kicked off in Austin

Today's scary movie is The Descent 😱 Check it out here... open.substack.com/pub/evilmopa...

🔥 MY ACL 2025 BINGO HAS ARRIVED 🔥

There are simply so many fires to attend to; we don't even have a story on the gov shutdown up, but I feel proud of what the @texasobserver.org did get to this week. Today's story, ICE snatches a Dallas Muslim leader known for his gentleness and humility: www.texasobserver.org/ice-marwan-m...

Oh, look! The new issue of Fangoria is here!

First installment in my cool/spooky three-part "31 Horror Movies For 31 Days" series ($) open.substack.com/pub/evilmopa...

@evilmopacatx.bsky.social Don't stop. believing..

My latest tells the "Austin Sucks" crowd to fuck off open.substack.com/pub/evilmopa...

Today is the perfect day to order The Daily Driver from @armadilloroasters.bsky.social For a limited time, all purchases include Evil MoPac swag 🤠 share.google/oSQu35pG2huc...

Robert Eugene Brashers has been identified as the man who killed 13-year-old Amy Ayers, 15-year-old Sarah Harbison, 17-year-old Eliza Thomas and 17-year-old Jennifer Harbison at a North Austin yogurt shop in December 1991.

Fall Austin Cold Front™

🤔🤔🤔

not excited about sharing Austin roads with these murderbots. cc @evilmopacatx.bsky.social arstechnica.com/cars/2025/09...

Jon Stewart's Post-Kimmel Primer on Free Speech in the Glorious Trump Era youtu.be/_GXNJ3V9lzg

🤣🤣🤣

Austin, here's a fitting Venn for my new MoPac toll lane traffic app... Apple: apps.apple.com/us/app/evil-... Google Play: play.google.com/store/apps/d...

"If there is any fixed star in our constitutional constellation, it is that no official, high or petty, can prescribe what shall be orthodox in politics, nationalism, religion, or other matters of opinion or force citizens to confess by word or act their faith therein." Justice Robert Jackson, 1943

A new @evilmopacatx.bsky.social phone app is promising to make sense of MoPac's unpredictable toll lanes by showing drivers how much each minute of time saved will actually cost. Alan Farmer made the app, inspired by "the terrible that is MoPac in the toll lane." www.kut.org/transportati...

The EVIL MOPAC TOLL LANE TRAFFIC APP has launched for both Apple and Google Play (Links posted in thread, below) 😱 This app gives a real time snapshot of how much faster the toll lane is than the free lanes (or if it is) and also does an interactive cost analysis 😍