Waking up to Austin's highest cedar levels in years

My new one is a wild, no holds barred ranking of Austin, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, Ft. Worth, and El Paso You don't want to miss this! open.substack.com/pub/evilmopa...

Dumb smile on my face for the entire Super Bowl halftime show, just an absolute fucking all-timer

Super Bowl Halftime Show Meme™

🔥🔥🔥

For your Texas Father-in-Law

Guy who moved to Austin in 2025 wants to tell you about all the best restaurants here

Oh, this is good. 🤣

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Austin Meme™

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Amazing, all of them in one photo

Your Texas father-in-law is more concerned about this today than the Epstein Files he posted about 2,588 times on Facebook

Russian Bots are stealing another election

🙏🙏🙏

We’re crushed to hear that Catherine O’Hara has left us. Horror fans know her work in BEETLEJUICE and THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS (as well as a memorable appearance in TALES FROM THE CRYPT), but her body of creativity beyond genre is an epic one. Our condolences to all who loved her.

friend of mine is an undocumented immigrant and has been hiding in Melania theaters bc he knows people assume no one is in there

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Peak 2026 Austin

🤡🤡🤡

I’m ok. I’m a survivor so this small agitator isn’t going to intimidate me from doing my work. I don’t let bullies win. Grateful to my incredible constituents who rallied behind me. Minnesota strong.

This is the way, make “ok, abolish only ICE” the moderate position.

I hate ICE more than salt does

All the tough guys bitching about schools and other shit being closed in Austin would be crying to AAA with shaking hands two minutes after their F-150 ends up in a ditch after hitting a tiny patch of ice

I didn't have Liberals defending the 2nd Amendment against MAGA chudlords on my 2026 Bingo card but here we are

Every bridge and overpass in Austin today

They're no doubt searching for a new evil dumb fucking distraction to replace their current evil dumb fucking distraction that was done to keep y'all from talking about Epstein

The worst drivers in good weather in Austin are always the first dipshits out there when the roads are ice rinks

🤝🏻🤝🏾🤝🏽🤝🏼

PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE... UNLESS IT'S A MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH DO NOT TRY TO DRIVE ON THE HELLISH SKATING RINK THAT AUSTIN ROADS ARE TODAY YOU'RE NEITHER SPECIAL NOR REMOTELY COMPETENT TO DO SO

Gorgeous Downtown Austin this morning from the Town Lake Boardwalk

Mt. Bonnell Sunrise Austin, Texas 1/25/26

PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE: Respectfully, get the fuck off of Austin roads. They're frozen and you have zero ability to drive on ice

🧵 Over the next hour in Texas, U.S. Senate candidates Texas House Rep. James Talarico and Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett face off in a Democratic primary debate. Early voting starts on Feb 17.

This sure seems more like the tyranny the Constitution is supposed to protect against than forgiving student loans.

Fuck ICE That's it That's the message

FRIDAY NIGHT WINTER STORM HEB UPDATE ❄️💦🧊😱 The following items are STILL available in Austin... *Vegan Ox *Yak Milk *Ham Girth *TP From Employee Bathroom (one roll max) *Mink Jelly (Westlake) *Diet Ice *Febreze Intimate Oils (Steiner Ranch) *Assorted Loins *Ferret Glaze

A funny but mildly terrifying look at the latest version of Austin HEB Doomsday Prepping open.substack.com/pub/evilmopa...

Seeing every Cybertruck in Austin stalled on the side of the road this weekend

Very nice article about why you might want to try acupuncture. #Acupuncture #InnerPeace #HealingJourney #HolisticHealth #SelfCare #Transformation 💕 #Wellness

Pre-Storm Austin HEB Toilet Paper Aisle Some of y'all planning to shit 600 times in the next 3 days?

The HEB Water Aisle Austin, Texas 1/22/26

AUSTIN ICE STORM UPDATE

A Winter Storm Watch has been issued for Austin

Better batten down the hatches. Ted Cruz is getting on a plane to Laguna Beach in winter.

Zodiac in California again

My new Venn, starring Texas Winter Storms, $5 Margs, and Governmental Overreach

If you are, or know anyone, in the Austin… Lookout for freezing temps