Austin today 💦

Just saw a BMW driver use a blinker. There's still hope for humanity❤️

Our entire existence is pretty much one big April Fool's joke now, so I'm standing down today. I can't come close to hitting the necessary bar

Hot buttered Christ on the cross is this fucking accurate right now

Now you take this home, nose clogged with snot, add some pine needles, a palm. Baby, you've got ah choo going!

Spending 20 minutes outside in Austin right now

Austin Swinger Meme™

This week's Venn, enjoy

"I can reveal that this film deeply resonates emotionally and intellectually, making you care about the beings you’re watching without reducing them to heroic archetypes. They’re allowed to have flaws and grow and adapt and it’s mesmerizing to watch." open.substack.com/pub/evilmopa...

Austin Meme™

My new one looks at the upcoming renaming of Cesar Chavez St in Austin and offers some potential selections open.substack.com/pub/evilmopa...

Them: "LOL, my 'Student Driver' bumper sticker is so funny and ironic!" Me: "That's also exactly how you drive, motherfucker"

☘️Happy St. Patrick's Day to all who celebrate☘️

Absolute Banger 🔥🔥🔥

I'm actually impressed

PAINFULLY. FUCKING. ACCURATE.

25 squares, 25 truths Especially that last square

🔥Behold, SXSW 2026 BINGO🔥 Enjoy irresponsibly/spread far and wide

More surprising moisture here than at a Westlake date night that ends happily

Austin as "The Office"

4 days ago, NPR reported that the Trump administration is still withholding, in violation of the Epstein files statutes, 37 pages of documents that implicate him in the rape of a child. This should end his presidency. www.npr.org/2026/03/05/n...

Graham is an expert on blowing the hell out of people

Spring forward... Fall back... whatever. Can we just pick ONE & stick with it once & for ALL?!!! ⏰

Cc @evilmopacatx.bsky.social

Austin Rain Dome Meme™

Bro gonna drop a fire EDM set at Cheer Up Charlies during SXSW

It's going to rain anywhere from 0.01" to 10" in Austin over the weekend so pls plan accordingly

The Austin I-35 project in March 2027

Ken Paxton to some bumblefuck Trump staffer after he was told to drop out of the Senate race youtube.com/shorts/36yQb...

I see you @jamestalarico.bsky.social 🔥

TEXAS VOTERS... This is very on brand for me If you're in line, stay in line

Get out and vote! Polls are open 7 AM - 7 PM! Go to JamesTalarico.com/vote to find your polling place!

Just a reminder that... (1) Tuesday is the last day to vote (2) There was Early Voting but there's no Late Voting (3) If you end up not voting, feel free to shut your dumb cake hole about who wins/loses

MARCH HAS BEEN A LONG FUCKING MONTH

This is my backyard. I have no words but to say my heart aches. www.wideopencountry.com/3-dead-14-in...

Heartbroken, outraged, and horrified

Still up on the official White House website: www.whitehouse.gov/articles/202...

The President of Peace❤️

This bumblefuck bullied a Nobel Peace Prize winner into literally handing it over to him last month

Friday Venn starring RFK, Jr, Male Strippers, and In-N-Out

THIS MEASLES DIDDLING TAINTWAFFLE SPENT AN HOUR PROMOTING $40/LB BRISKET AT A FUCKING AUSTIN BBQ YESTERDAY

I'm proud to announce my endorsement of James Talarico to be the Democratic nominee for Senate in Texas. My new article explains why I took this position. open.substack.com/pub/evilmopa...

Behold, my 'NOT WATCHING THE STATE OF THE UNION BINGO' Please disseminate into the winds and enjoy irresponsibly

🔥 4:00 PM – Satellite Fire Detection Update (Texas) Shortwave IR satellite imagery is detecting multiple heat signatures across the eastern half of Texas this afternoon. (Plus one west of Stratford in the Panhandle earlier).

"Here are all the reasons why Texas is so shitty in 2026 and how I'm going to fix it!" --Republicans, who've controlled the Governor's office for 31 years, both chambers of the Legislature for 23 years, and Attorney General's Office for 25 years

Today is a perfect day to vote in Texas 🤠 A relevant primer for Senate on the Democrat side for Talarico vs Crockett 👇

My new one is 🔥🔥🔥 I ask James Talarico and Jasmine Crockett tough questions about Trump, ICE, the Epstein Files, and a wide range of other major issues