4th of July Austin, Texas 7/4/26

Good to know!

Cybertruck Meme #69

It has been a long fucking July

The real ones know

When you don't wave in Texas after they let you merge

ATTN: All y'all relying on A.I. to serve up accurate facts, here's a tiny sample from a story I'm dropping next week showing how A.I. dangerously tailors reality to fit users' expectations

Call out that B.S. when you smell it

Really fun one here today, gang (Free) open.substack.com/pub/evilmopa...

Things with better air quality than Austin with Saharan Dust *Greyhound bus toilet *Steiner Ranch swinger party futon *Texas father-in-law 3 AM Dutch Oven *Longhorn football post-game laundry hamper *ACL porta-potty (Sun., Weekend 2) *Moist pressure sock *Coal roller F-250 idling in tiny garage

Happy Father's Day to all of the wonderful dads out there 🫶

RFK Jr. just pounding a pint glass full of this stuff. "It's got parameciums," he says. defector.com/promises-mad...

Happy Juneteenth. 👊🏾

Thanks to all y'all who voted for me, against me, or not at all in the Austin Chronicle Grown Up Superlatives. I am love. I am the way and the truth. Behold my majesty.

The air in Austin feels like Miami and Jakarta are hooking up inside a velour bodysuit filled with hot pudding 💦

Elite "I moved to Austin in 2023 and own a private equity firm" Energy

Please help if you can

Trump was playing 1-D Checkers

Austin Public Service Message

Hot Topic on the streets, Chess King in the sheets

Relevant Monday Austin Venn

I have to say, removing a usurper king's name from a building really is a great way to celebrate the 250th anniversary of our founding.

When you lack foresight, you get taunted by hindsight

This is so beautiful I cried 🥲

My latest takes some time to chat with Austin journalist Hannah Rucker to talk about her work to help foster kids in Texas evilmopacatx.substack.com/p/how-journa...

BREAKING

Austin, Texas: Supple Rainforest

I’m Caitlin Rourk: Army veteran, mom, and running for Congress in Texas’ 10th District. Our campaign is about making healthcare affordable, building an economy that lets people get ahead, and getting Congress back to doing its job. If you’re ready for a government that works for you, let’s go.

This meme deserves a Pulitzer for whoever made it

Some smarmy MAGA reality show taintlord just came in 3rd in the L.A. Mayor vote and these fartbags' takeaway is that he was ROBBED rather than did an assload better than he should have in an ~80% Dem city???

My latest Venn starring Austin and Moist💦

To try to understand Ken Paxton in 2026, my new one takes y'all back to his deeply cynical acquittal in 2023 This should be required reading for anyone on the fence or disengaged about Talarico vs Paxton evilmopacatx.substack.com/p/from-the-v...

A New World Screwworm was identified yesterday in Austin 😬 It was at a Steiner Ranch swinger party and he goes by Ted

You see a $1,000 Montblanc pen sitting in a tray at a courthouse metal detector 🤔 WHAT WOULD YOU DO? 🤔 Ken Paxton: "Pretend that baby's mine and toss it in my pocket!!!" James Talarico: "Correctly presume someone left the pen behind, let security know, and go about my day"

❤️❤️❤️

My new Venn is here, starring Ken Paxton MAGAs, Guys Who Forgot Their Viagra at a Swinger Party, and Militant Health Inspectors 👁️👁️

BREAKING: Wooderson Floyd has dropped out of the Freedom 250 Celebration

Well, well, well...

It's time to have an adult conversation about the mini-motorcycle epidemic open.substack.com/pub/evilmopa...

Awesome shot from above a stormy Austin last night (📸Richard Fitzwell)

"The People vs Ken Paxton"

"Talarico? More like TalaFREAKO, amiright, lol?" --MAGA influencers trying, failing to be clever for the first time

Mean But Highly Accurate Austin in 2026 Map

Memorial Day🇺🇸

Saying 'Happy Memorial Day' certainly doesn't mean you're a bad person, but it's certifiably tone deaf

New Austin Rule: If we smell your BBQ we get to have some 🍖

Austin Meme #696

ATTN: Austin

My magnum opus expose on Austin Swingers has arrived! open.substack.com/pub/evilmopa...