Because nothing screams Christmas like preparing your children for the administrative and bereaucratic nightmare of dealing with the Irish Passport Office...

The Irish papers' football coverage in a nutshell: "Our u/21s were hammered 4-0 by Andorra yestrday but not to worry, here's yet another in-depth rehashing of that Manchester United story we keep running and running and..."

Sad that this leak appears to have come from the office of Minister Jim O'Callaghan (FF). FG had seemed most likely to start bashing* immigrants. Maybe FF will start punching down too after their recemt election fuck-up? (*Metaphorically, of course. They're not thugs. They just incite thugs).

Maybe I'm happy Celia has taken my place at the top of the leaderboard. How'dja like them manzanas? Your move, Duolingo.

Many thanks for the kind reposts about my upcoming publication - all helps. Much appreciated. Xx

There's been an accident in the drapery section at Guiney's...

The first (and easily the best) rom-com ever made. A thing of beauty. More importantly, a thing of fun. archive.org/details/it.-...

Catherine Connolly once started a game of Snakes and Ladders without throwing a six. #SmearTheBajaysis

It comforts me to believe that every time Prince turned up at a do, there were a couple of concerned aunties who'd corner his Purpleness and ask... "and, tell us, are you still at the music, love?".

Odd how famous comedians are (rightfully i.m.o.) being called out for taking money off the country that funded Al Qaeda and ISIS, yet famous football clubs like Manchester United (Saudi Telecom) don't get called out for it and neither do Liverpool (cf Standard Chartered's links to ISIS)

It says a lot about what some Irish political parties think of the role of President when (Bertie fucking Ahern aside) they only woke up to the role in the last few weeks and have since been snout deep in an undignified scramble to find a candidate for an election they knew about SEVEN years ago.

Not only the worst performance I have ever seen from an Irish team but possibly the worst performance I have ever seen [full stop]. And I supported City under Alan fucking Ball.

CONNIE Written and created by award-winning Limerick playwrights and Ormston House Artists-in-Residence, Ann Blake and Joanne Ryan, CONNIE is a bold, immersive theatrical event that reimagines the incredible life of Limerick-born Hollywood actress Constance Smith.

I am a firefighter in a TV show. The other guys in the station are my brothers and sisters. Except the captain. He thinks I'm a hothead - but I get the job done, goddammit. Also, that Norman Price needs a good kick up the hole.

I am a detective in a TV show. I live for my job but it doesn't make me happy. As a reformed alcoholic with quirky taste in music, my relationship with my beautiful ex-wife is... complicated. One time, somebody I loved died violently, but I don't like to talk about that.

I'm a barman in a TV show. I like polishing glasses with a cloth I keep slung over my shoulder. I am the soul of discretion and my customers are like children to me. I never, ever, go outside the bar. My empty glasses collect themselves.

I'm a doctor in a TV show. After finishing a shift in the hospital, I like nothing better than hanging around the wards and smiling benignly at my sleeping patients.

I'm a lawyer on a TV show. All day, every day, two or three of us interview the same suspect at the same time. Because that's what we lawyers do - we solve crimes in pairs before retiring to the karaoke bar of an evening.

In all we know now... not a word of objection to genocide out of one of them.

To the patron seated behind President Lincoln and this enormous hat, John Wilkes Booth was probably a hero.

Ideal for young lovers of stories and art, and as aids for teachers to inspire, choc-a-bloc as they are with poetry, stories and stunning artwork... And now from just €20 for five issues, including postage! ✨️ bit.ly/caterpillarbackissues

I am a female character in an action movie. Not long after having sex with the hero, I like to open the fridge door in the dark. I always do this while wearing his shirt instead of any clothes my own.

Swiftian satire. An extraordinary piece.

Magical.

A box arrived! No idea what was inside! Opened the box &....cried. Pinching myself. Thank you @MadvillePub ❤️❤️❤️ Years of living and healing and writing. My story, a story, maybe you will connect in your story. Pre-order: madvillepublishing.com/product/momm...

As Bookbanks new Ambassador I’d like to spread the word about this brilliant charity giving books with food at food banks. Please share and support if you’re able :) www.bookbanks.co.uk

Had a long chat with Tour de France race leader Ben Healy today - did he wear the yellow jersey on the rest day coffee ride? You bet… www.irishtimes.com/sport/cyclin...

There's still time to get to our 3pm professional development session with Sarah Moore Fitzgerald. Sarah is giving a 90-minute creative writing seminar as part of our @irishwriterscentre.bsky.social roadshow. Tickets €7, available on the door www.westcorkmusic.ie/events/2025/...

I'm reading a novel. It's classed as "Irish literary fiction". I know this because all the main characters went to TCD.

I'm reading a novel. It's classed as "literary fiction". I know this because it has no punctuation.

Firstly, I have never been to Wimbledon in my life. Secondly, my wife's pet name for me is entirely a personal matter. No further questions, please.

Powerful stuff.

Inspirational leadership from Limerick Council's Priomh-Comhairle, Dan McSweeney, chipping in on a multi-million euro one year-old controversy. Oops! My bad. Outgoing priomh-comhairle.

WHICH IS BETTER? Having the price of only one pint or having the price of nothing..? One pint is better than nothing but then again, nothing is better than a pint.

👇

tbf, I bombed a country when no one came to my birthday party too.

For an event that "nobody cares about" because "it doesn't matter," there's an awful lot of green-eyed grumbling from fans of clubs who weren't good enough to qualify.

Irish travel agents are disingenuous when blaming global warming for a drop in numbers travelling to Spain & Greece with not a word about those destinations having ramped up their prices. Quite simply, the travelling public know they will get more for their euro elsewhere.

Every time I watch golf, I feel like a failure as a parent. If only I'd named one child, Fancy McPantsy IV, we'd all be in clover now. Dammit.

*** ATTENTION *** This Sunday is June 15th. (exactly six months to the day) If the owner of the blue ticket, serial number 23FGX55B hasn't come forward by then, I will eat THE ASSORTED BOX OF BISCUITS myself! PS: Whoever you are, I hope *you* had a Merry Christmas.

Hear ye! Hear ye! Fair warning that this little gem of a movie is on Film 4 at 11am this Wednesday. That is all. As you were. Carry on.

I'm a long time out of the Rugby bubble but when the chief of the URC is excusing/ rationalising unsporting behaviour because it drives increased clicks, the game is, not to put too fine a point on it, fucked.

Good thing there's a sketch artist at the P Diddy trial. Otherwise, we'd never know what he looks like.

Before you say it I know I've written the card upside down.

I got three yolks out of two eggs this morning. Bet they won't be reporting that on any if their MSM fake news channels.

Do read this.

Highly recommended...

"And he's an honest man, a decent man. Someone who cares about the marginalised and the forgotten..." Ahm... should those attributes not be prerequisites for the leader of the world's largest CHRISTIAN sect?

I am delighted to have just been appointed the new manager of Watford Football Club. I look forward to working with the players who were a great bunch of lads and I wish them well for the future following my dismissal that occurred at some point during this post