Eli
@elielieli.bsky.social
📤 620
📥 632
📝 255
flavorice consumer
Gen Xers are crazy, real conversation overheard at work A: you ever go into those massage chairs at the mall? B: yeah but they’re a little rough A: yeah that’s the way I like it hahaaaa I’m in there like AaAaAaAaAaAaAaAa people walking by looking at me like I’m a weirdo
10 months ago
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tonight’s work partner literally chain smokes cigars the smell is doing a number on my sanity
10 months ago
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Pro israel coworker called herself a leftist, more at 3
10 months ago
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Did you guys know that half the women on raya work in medical device sales and live in NYC
10 months ago
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huh, according to the Chinese it’s the year of my ex
11 months ago
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I think fb is imploding cause I just got a video ad of a woman uncensoredly fingerbanging herself til she squirted
11 months ago
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“free speech app” but I can’t tell a rapist to kill themselves
11 months ago
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can someone point me in the direction of the boobies and butts accounts. I’ve had two 13% beers and they are hittin
11 months ago
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“Do you hate me” but at my dog
11 months ago
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my biggest ick? failing to close the parentheses
12 months ago
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I can tell the last of my loverboy tendencies haven’t been totally snuffed out because I still wish I had someone to buy flowers for when I go to the grocery store
12 months ago
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just got diagnosed with psoriasis who want me
12 months ago
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bowling so underrated like yeah I wanna whip this heavy ass ball and knock stuff down tbh
12 months ago
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my job on the commune would be rebound fuck
12 months ago
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boobs are unfortunately pivotal to my mental health
12 months ago
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remembered how easy fish is to season and cook today, and salad kits are $3.50 at acme. connecting a lot of dots, leveling up, etc
12 months ago
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saying you want a “friends to lovers romance” on a dating app makes me think you don’t know how a “friends to lovers romance” works
12 months ago
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This app has a huge bot problem
12 months ago
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I would much rather walk to checkout with an armful of groceries instead of using a cart. give me my baskets back
12 months ago
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matched with the artist of my 6th most listened Spotify song on Raya but she hasn’t messaged me back should I kill myself
12 months ago
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I’ve been hallucinating the “key in ignition and door open” sound for six hours
12 months ago
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if you get faster than 99% of CEOs in every LinkedIn puzzle game they should give you the name and address of 1 CEO
12 months ago
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giving my dog a bath bc he’s itchy and I love him
12 months ago
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I’m gonna call it right now, the next person I fall in love with is not going to be looking for a relationship
12 months ago
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I Don’t Believe That You Didn’t Have Time To Change Out Of Your Medical Scrubs Before Coming To This Public Place
12 months ago
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I got three boxes of Trader Joe’s triple ginger snaps who want me
12 months ago
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reposted by
Eli
Toast
12 months ago
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Colin Robinson playing catan
12 months ago
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my parents: are you bored or are you boring me: you raised me. self own
12 months ago
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reposted by
Eli
scarlett
12 months ago
HOLY FUCK PLEASEEEE PLEASEEEEEE PLEASEEEEEEE CLASS CONSCIOUSNESSES IS SO CLOSE I’M LITERALLY ON MY KNEES BEGGING TO GOD FOR REPUBLICAN CLASS CONSCIOUSNESS
add a skeleton here at some point
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does everyone have read receipts on these days? am I old and out of touch?
12 months ago
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here’s to all the inspired copycat criminals 🍻
12 months ago
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my most problematic take is that some people really do have “I’m going to cheat on you with a coworker” vibes
12 months ago
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sorry but it IS creepy to find me on Facebook because you saw me on hinge. Arguably the most creepy app to find me on! With my full government name. weird as fuck actually!
12 months ago
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it’s not gay if it’s the hat man
12 months ago
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reposted by
Eli
Zoot Sutra
12 months ago
Millions Make Merry
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reposted by
Eli
Unpainted Huffhines
12 months ago
Mass Murderer Murked in Midtown Manhattan
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peak design PR team scrambling to put out a statement
12 months ago
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This is not a loss for the healthcare community. A doctor dying would have a tangible net negative effect on people saved. A CEO whose job it is to extract money from sick people dying is always a net positive.
12 months ago
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2,668 billionaires on the wall, 2668 billionaires! Take one down, pass it around, 2667 billionaires on the wall…
12 months ago
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every paramedic you know is secretly judging you based on how hard it would be to extricate someone from your house
12 months ago
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deleted the Twitter app but not the account how long til someone gets mad at me for not answering a dm
12 months ago
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this is soooo me
12 months ago
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It’s so funny watching James Bond goldeneye in the 2020s and remembering how much anti-Russia Cold War propaganda there was even in the 90s lol
12 months ago
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reposted by
Eli
donni saphire
about 1 year ago
Fruity pebbles are not very fruity, but no other pebble comes half as close
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I don’t fuck losers because they are no longer a loser by virtue of having fucked me
12 months ago
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no yeah yeah no yeah I can definitely “yaaaay” my way out of this one
12 months ago
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