8pm, 16th July, I'm performing my 1hr work in progress show at The Green Goddess as part of Subfun's festival work-in-progress shows. 43A Vanbrugh Park Blackheath SE3 7AA Tickets events.liveit.io/subfun/subfu... Please note, this is one of two shows that night. #comedy #standup #London #comedian

1/2 Had to repair my latest A6 notebook (I have over a thousand) after the white, semi-rigid plastic back cover came away. This is the stationery equivalent of an ACL.

09:22hrs Vigorous 'tache stroking as I contemplate another difficult day.

15:21hrs It's been one of them tough periods and today, I've been traumatised after dropping my glasses in the middle of a main road and watching a vehicle go over them. Crushed. That's both me and my glasses. We read so many great books together. RIP.

Cezanne's 'Boy with a Red Vest' I started my Woolworth's Saturday Boy job with this exact same hairstyle. #art #woolworths #cezanne

When a neighbour invites you to their annual garden party for the 12th year in a row and you consider your potential excuses for a twelfth connective no-show.

8pm, 16 July, I'm performing my 1hr work in progress show at The Green Goddess as part of Subfun's festival work-in-progress shows. 43A Vanbrugh Park Blackheath SE3 7AA Tickets events.liveit.io/subfun/subfu... Please note, this is one of two shows that night. #comedy #standup #London #comedian

He's pledged to bring back Ceefax and build at least one affordable house if he wins the by-election. Seriously, how can the people of Clacton not vote for Count Binface now? #Clacton #politics

Tonight's green room.

When you come off stage after a gig where there's no air con. #comedy

1/2: #BRANOR If you saw Brazil in the first half against Morocco, when they could easily have been 3 down before equalising, then last night’s Norway result wouldn’t have come as a shock.

Tuesday 7th July, opening here. #comedy #standup #funny #comedian #redbourne

Played some of my finest street football on this corner as a boy. That lamp post wasn't there 'back in the day', nor the yellow container. We'd play until dark or until the local Bobby turned up, when there was such a thing as a police presence on the streets. Great days. I peaked early.

A decade ago, on my early morning journeys to the café from where I would do the bulk of my writing, I would begin writing on the bus. These days, London roads are so bad and ridden with pot holes, that trying to write on them is a very different and jarring experience. #London #writing

According to LBC just now, one solution for England in regards to dealing with playing Mexico at high altitude this weekend is taking Viagra. Probably not before lining up for the national anthem though. #worldcup

Pleased to have it confirmed that I only lost two thirds of my money at the recent Comedy Festival I did. #comedy

And that was June 2026. Never to be lived again.

New post on my #substack. Read/subscribe @ dub.sh/Zjq54wl #writing #cycling

As good as meditation and breathing exercises can be, I think shredding might have the edge.

09:32hrs The instinctive pre (Tesco's own) cracker-buttering pout.

12:45hrs Keeping myself busy chatting to Gemini about series 4 of LA Law and the superb dynamic that year between Harry Hamlin and guest star Carl Lumbly. As you do. Their Primetime Emmy win for Outstanding Drama Series was well deserved that year. #TV

11:30hrs There's always a danger that my day peaks with the morning pear selection.

Appearing at Cucumber Comedy Club. Sunday 28th June London E9 5EN #comedy #standup #funny #comedian #standup

22:52hrs Gum mastication on public transport is becoming significantly more audible, and irksome. I suspect that's down to the masticators wearing noise-cancelling headphones and not being able to hear their disgracefully high audio levels.

8pm, 16th July, I'm performing my 1hr work in progress show at The Green Goddess as part of Subfun's festival work-in-progress shows. 43A Vanbrugh Park Blackheath SE3 7AA Tickets events.liveit.io/subfun/subfu... Please note, this is one of two shows that night. #comedy #standup #London #comedian

When every gym session is 'chest day'. #gym #writing #comedy #health

22:13hrs Porridge sweats.

Every time I see this horizon, I wonder if I could fly, would flying over to those towers tire me out? I don't ever recall Superman mentioning his flying was tiring him out, but I would imagine if flying was widely available, there'd be different levels of fliers.

16:40hrs Today I rode my first complete bike lap since 1991. There were a couple of hairy moments but I more than survived. Would never have happened without the hospital program. Mind you, I'd have never eaten any of the slop I've had over the last fortnight without the hospital.

16:25hrs Completed a very poorly delivered anecdote today. Could see I'd lost the Clinician early with it. I'd committed so saw it through, with difficulty. I've told the tale a few times. Maybe it's simply gone stale. Or perhaps it still works, but I was just going through the motions with it.

Hospital Exit Eve, appearing here. #comedy #standup

This was a very enjoyable listen. Between spring 2012 and Christmas 2018, I made 4 different shows for @resonancefm.bsky.social In total I made over 80 episodes for Resonance and my years there were some of the best creative experiences I've had. #radio #resonancefm

Ron Greenwood was the last former West Ham manager before Graham Potter to manage at a World Cup. #NEDSWE #worldcup

I'm grateful that this looks like a remotely normal meal, albeit at midday which is insanely early for any meal. Four sausages looks ambitious. One more week of this hospital program left.

Hello Bluepals, we are open.

If this tastes like it ought to, I might be okay with today's meal. Ridiculously early meal times here.

Today I rode a bike for the first time since 1991. Momentous.

🎙️ Just published a new episode of Soulcruzer: Why My Blog Is Still My Home on the Internet. Have a listen:

Episode #422: Why My Blog Is Still My Home on the Internet In this episode, I take the Soulcruzer podcast out of the studio and into the fields. What starts as an experiment in mobile podcasting/vlogging... https://www.soulcruzer.com/episode-422-why-my-blog-is-still-my-home-on-the-internet/

Lunchtime. Bought a sandwich. No plans to have any more of that hospital food for as long as I'm here. I don't understand why it has to be as bad as it is. The tough vegetables eroded my will to eat.

NEW on my Substack When the idea of living in a hospital was first put to me, perhaps coming up to a year ago now, I was initially horrified for a multitude of reasons, beginning with, first and foremost, LIVING IN A HOSPITAL. Read/Subscribe @ bit.ly/49P6WtB #writing #life #substack

My latest Substack newsletter is out.

NEW on my Substack. Read/subscribe @ bit.ly/4ewTgoP #writing #substack #comedy #life #health

Housing, or lack of, has defined my life. The Housing Crisis was a thing by the 90s. I didn't understand then why no one was talking about it, but the UK just slept walked on this, taking way too long to acknowledge the issue. #HousingCrisis

The missing 's' is really bothering me.

Tonight Tonight Tonight

Last call for what is my final work in progress show before I go and spend some of my summer living in a hospital like The Elephant Man. @theshirkersrest.bsky.social Friday 5 June 8pm #London SE14 6PP Tickets www.designmynight.com/london/whats-on/comedy/the-small-stuff-work-in-progress?t=tickets

1/2 THIS FRIDAY 5th JUNE, 8PM (Doors 7.45pm) 'A forensic dissection of daily life's minor agonies'. Catch my work 1hr work in progress comedy at The Shirker's Rest 9 Lewisham Way New Cross, London, SE14 6PP Tickets www.designmynight.com/london/whats... #comedy #standup

11:39hrs Just sold another 2 tickets for tomorrow's work in progress hour. 4 in total. Quadrupling the attendance for my last Brighton WIP. Apparently sales for Live Aid back in July '85 were similarly slow, so this is encouraging.

1/2 THIS FRIDAY 5th JUNE, 8PM (Doors 7.45pm) 'A forensic dissection of daily life's minor agonies'. Catch my work 1hr work in progress comedy at The Shirker's Rest 9 Lewisham Way New Cross, London, SE14 6PP Tickets www.designmynight.com/london/whats... #comedy #standup