Filing a report about Twitter on the App Store actually works, everybody do it

We have enough ice on the ground in Minnesota, we don’t need masked gestapo murdering and kidnapping out neighbors. #FuckICE

I can’t believe this is our reality.

I keep reacting to these “time to boycott the FIFA World Cup in the US” like “hell yeah!” as if I was going to watch even one second of it before this. But also, hell yeah!

I wish I was smart enough to post insightful political takes instead of just liking and reposting others but I am simply better at posting things like: Finally watched the Buffy movie. Not nearly as good as the show, but worth it to hear Paul Reubens say ‘kill him a lot!’

Tonight, the President of the United States has launched an unconstitutional war of aggression, dooming another generation to spill their blood for oil, and lay waste to a sovereign nation. I demand that Congress exercise its power, halt this conflict, and impeach this war criminal president.

I think the most ridiculous (but innocuous) thing that happened in 2025 was when Nordeast beer made that Disturbed can hahaha

I’m so glad I was not the only one confused by Tom Brady’s one glove look.

I think the brilliant part about Roman Roy’s character, aside from Culken’s incredible performance, is that of course he has some weird incest/mommy complex because everyone around him is constantly talking about fucking a family member and is getting off on it.

Does anyone know where my glasses are?

this is not behavior becoming of a FIFA Peace Prize recipient.

The problem with getting munchies around your mom is that the food does not stop coming.

I never knew what an “instant classic” was before seeing Oh. What. Fun.

Sometimes apple notifies me that my husband’s earpods are traveling with me and I am like… why don’t you warn me the rest of the time?

I can tell my mom is bored in her retirement because her house is completely rearranged since the last time I was here.

Not to perpetuate our society’s disgusting obsession with appearance, but DK Metcalf’s arms are a work of art.

The world would be a better place if everyone took a minute (and 45 seconds) to listen to Do It Faster by Militarie Gun.

I firmly believe that it should not be allowed to be negative degrees before winter even starts.

Oh my gosh, I think I am coworker with banana. And the answer is waiting until the ritalin overlords to approve eating despite being hungry or being too distracted to eat.

That Tipsy song was on the radio and I thought “what does a girl have to do to turn on the pop radio station and hear some Rihana?” and I shit you not Stay came on after it 🙌🏻

I feel like “gotta catch ‘em all!” is a great slogan because not only is it catchy, but it’s true. So. Very. True.

Just had an 8 minute meeting. Fuck yeah!

Okay so I have never seen more than probably a one-minute clip of Rogan, but isn’t his whole thing shitty political takes and promoting harmful health/diet fads?

I forgot how many tours just skip Minneapolis. Chicago spoiled me rotten.

It’s fucking awesome that Kelly Clarkson’s job right now is essentially reminding every other musician that she is better than them while still being incredibly endearing.

If my kicker gets 0 point tonight, I will lose my fantasy game by 0.02 points despite both of us blowing the rest of the league out of the water. That’s the wait it goes I suppose though.

Did you know that Minnesotans pronounce “bags” like “bayges?”

It sure feels impossible that just a few hours more than a day ago all of us minneapolitans convinced ourselves it was okay to live here another year.

The only person I could do a convincing and funny roast on is my dog, Gus, but I don’t think there is much of a market for that.

I don’t understand why MAGA people think any progressive individuals care if Bill Clinton goes down?

I’m exhausted for the Steelers defense.

On today’s edition of “songs that were stuck in my head when I woke up despite not hearing them for years” we have ‘Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!!’ by the Vengaboys

Every day I wake up and think “fuck ICE”

I bet Adam Brody is a great husband, because every interview where he is asked about how he has such good chemistry with Kristen Bell he gives the most diplomatic response that eschews any implication that they specifically have any magic together.

For as much as I hate T*yl*r Sw*ft (sorry), if she makes people feel anything like what Alkaline Trio makes me feel, I am glad people have her.

I had legit started getting into NBA basketball for the first time because of Towns on the Wolves (Pgh doesn’t have a team, so I didn’t either) until this trade happened. I couldn’t really watch last season at all.

I’m just gonna say it. I think it’s weird when friends have children around the same time of different sexes assigned at birth and talk about how they are going to date or get married one day.

A hardcore cover of The Distance by CAKE. That’s a free idea for anyone.

I love Jurassic Park more than anyone, but the concept of “he can’t see us if we don’t move” doesn’t really work because they can smell and hear…

The stadium was playing Dammit during the Cowboys and Broncos game??

I wish it would be recognizable enough to be the lady on the cover of Eve 6’s Horrorscope for Halloween.

Yinz, I really gotta start eating BEFORE I take my ritalin.

I’ve said it before and I will say it again. All Killer, No Filler really is all killer and no filler. It’s actually pretty remarkable.

I think some academics might not remember how acronyms work and it causes more headaches for me than it should.

What do you mean I have to cook AGAIN?! I cooked last week!

🎶It’s my least fa-vor-ite timeeee of the yearrrrrrr🎶

Took a 45 min walk with G between 6 & 7 pm on a Friday and saw SIX people total until I got to the park by my house. Glad to be in a suburb surrounded by marsh and lakes and trees, but let’s face it. Any way you cut it… suburbs are freaky and humans were not meant to live like this.

Made a huge mistake in Fantasy by not playing Metcalf. That’s what I get for not sticking with my team.

I’m just gonna say it. I am Alkaline Trio’s biggest fan and I am upset I don’t get to see them with that sick background.

I wonder what life would be like today if Al Gore was elected…