Sitting at a bar in the upper west side with my wife and screaming at the Kentucky derby because our fake bet on Golden Tempo won, then explaining to everyone that it was an imaginary bet.

I love that they seem to have captured him in a tunnel

Keep going. If there’s a way Duke can someday lose to a 64 seed I’m all for it. www.espn.com/mens-college...

Not sure if there’s even a #tennissky but Hailey Baptiste just beat Sabalenka in a third set tiebreaker in Madrid and it was complete madness and the best thing I’ve seen in ages

Plumber: (points vaguely toward everything) You see the problem now, right? Me: (anxious, trying hard, wondering why it has to be a test) maybe that thing there? Plumber: (shakes head sadly) You have failed

This thread, damn. I think she tried typing "wouldn’t let me" and changed it to "wouldn’t cooperate” and the two things together made it sound sinister instead of like a tech complaint.

The person who read Frost’s “Good fences make good neighbors” line and lost the plot

If it’s safety that matters we can keep him behind seven inch thick glass all the time, and there can also be bars

This may be stupid but it’s the stupid we need right now

Let. The duck. In.

Why does every photo of Mike Johnson look like this.

Love this tribute, but my fav thing is George Clinton talking about Prince wanting him to come by late at night and tell stories about the people he'd met, and Prince saying: "I never met nobody." Then Prince ends up being the guy everyone else cherishes meeting. www.theguardian.com/music/2026/a...

Invisibilia launches into the wild today! If you want to join the virtual launch tonight at 8pm Eastern, hosted by Slant Books, here's the link to register. #BookSky us02web.zoom.us/meeting/regi...

New giveaway up on #goodreads if you want a signed, flesh-and-blood-and-paper copy of Invisibilia. www.goodreads.com/giveaway/sho...

The well-known medical procedure of the laying on of hands, I see that on The Pitt all the time

I also picked up on the bedroom texture, to chat's credit

When you know you've made poor online choices and the algorithm is probing to see just how poor

This Artemis reaction shot of scientist Juliane Gross should be the main thing on my feed in any good version of the universe

the guys walking around in shoes that don’t fit are not gonna do a 25th Amendment

What I think every time I go on LinkedIn because I know I should promote my book, and also every other time I go online

The answer to every headline is always no.

An app that just randomly sends you a breaking news alert that he’s dead just to give you a microburst of joy

put an egg in your shoe and beat it made me laugh

I’m team Langdon on the Pitt because I love a fuckup trying to come clean although I appreciate Santos’ sneer.

Didn't need to see this as a Nats fan, but het gets what he deserves being on the Nats right now

Many of us hate writing except for the 1% of time when it clicks and it’s the best thing ever. But the 99% of time that it’s brutal wouldn’t get better with AI, it would just make the 1% disappear.

Hey #booksky and #storysky I've got a new book coming out April 14, Invisibilia, and you can win a signed copy by entering Slant Books' giveaway at docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1F...

"I have no point to make" is a weird brag for a writer. Pretty sure good writers can entertain and still make a point.

Love the Nats getting the win, and love seeing Blake Butera getting high-fived and looking like the kid brother of one of the star players.

This is exactly the right amount of stupid and I’m grateful for it

I just want him to run everything now

Keep looking at Zuckerberg's face in the photo and thinking it's not that his metaverse avatar looks like him, it's that he looks so much like his avatar. He's the uncanny valley of human beings but for avatars.

Perfection

This is a George Saunders story come to life

Also I’ve never once seen anyone in NYC (in Manhattan at least) drive up to a parking spot to go into a store and then leave. The people parking in front of your store are there for the parking spot, that’s it.

He is eating the chess pieces

As a writer I know I have to stop with only posting things about the news, which is political, because it's political when horrifying things happen and you're sad and enraged, because that means you're taking a stance, which you are, which is where we are as a country. Anyway I'll try.

The weather is good again in DC and I'm once again believing that he will die someday. Also baseball is coming back.

I want this to be 100% of social media content from now on

Also this is petty but Truth Social’s precision scale is weird. 2.06k likes is 2060 likes. Same number of characters.

It's about freeing the Iranian people even if it means killing them all www.theguardian.com/world/2026/m... Trump demands Iran’s ‘unconditional surrender’ as bombs pound Tehran and Beirut

I think “back home to their influencer houses” is what makes this gold. But worth reading for the comments too.

Six Americans and 700 Iranian civilians, including school kids. Seeing this messaging everywhere. Why is it so off-message for Dems to recognize foreign casualties when they frame the consequences?

Clears the incredibly low bar for being a decent human being and a professional athlete at the same time, and it will (should!) win him some fans.

A fun AI assignment for students would be to have them write an essay, then write another essay as if it were written by AI, and then identify what's different. I actually think kids would LOVE this, especially if it makes them realize AI's limitations and their own strengths.

Women > Men, part 1000000 www.nytimes.com/athletic/706...

You can help build billionaire-free local news. Repost this -> I give $1 Follow @51st.news -> I give $1 Follow me -> I give $1 Donate -> I match your gift Let's fight misinformation, help good journalists to make a decent living, and stick a big ol' finger in Jeff Bezos' eye.

Someone really needs to create a BS account for that necrotic hand.

This is pretty extraordinary