McHat Attack!!!

Oilers needed that one. Hopefully Dickinson and Ingram are both ok. McDavid put the team on his back tonight.

GO CRAZY, #Condorstown!🥳 ##CalderCup

Quinn Hutson ties the all time Condors rookie goals record with his 30th into an empty net. Roby Järventie with the assist. The Bakersfield Condors have officially punched their ticket for the AHL playoffs. Plenty of movement in the division so matchup still unknown. It’s a 5-2 win

Roby Järventie scores the empty net goal. Viljami Marjala with the assist. 4-2 Condors

McDavid is going to need 5 more points now that Ingram is out of the game.

Over in the Condors game… Daniel D’Amato scores. Matvey Petrov and Sam Poulin with the helpers. A lot of energy on this 3rd line and some decent offensive skill. Being that these are the Bakersfield Condors, they almost immediately gave up a goal to Tucson. It’s a problem. 3-2 Condors

*talking to teenage militant atheist self* current me: okay so there’s a big fight between the government and the catholic church teenage me: got it, so we’re obviously on the side of the government current me: I, uh, you might want to sit down for this one

Connor McDavid skipped all his meals today so he could dine on Shark.

McDavid collecting points like they’re Pokémon’s.

Jaaaaaack Roslooooooooviiiic Is the PP no longer broken?

Ike Howard with a great goal off the rush. The kid can score goals. Viljami Marjala with a good pass to spring him. 2-1 Condors

Ethan Keppen opens the scoring for the Condors early in the 2nd period. Riley Stillman and Matt Brown with the assists. Unfortunately they also just gave one up to the Roadrunners. 1-1

Podzilla!

The Bakersfield Condors have a chance to clinch a playoff spot tonight against Tucson. They haven’t played well the last 5, so hoping for a strong outing tonight. I think all the kids will play looser once they do clinch. No Beau Akey tonight, Josh Brown draws in. Matt Tomkins starts.

Experience Oilers hockey 🥲

Damn it Matty! You are no longer my little man.

Oilers doing anything the easy way challenge: impossible.

Of course this game has 10 goals and it’s tied.

Dach!

Nuggy! I was mean to you last game and this game you score!

Davooo! McDazzling!

Pew pew pew!

Patrick Roy out, Peter DeBoer in. The Islanders saw Vegas make a late season coaching change and said, “why not us too?” Silly season seems to have come early this year in the NHL.

It’s good that Nuge showed up for After Hours because he certainly hasn’t been showing up on the scoresheet. I say snarkily but also lovingly because Nuge Forever.

Bad 🐰🥚

Omg. What else do we have to sacrifice to the hockey gods to get a break this game? A dude in the crowd already took a puck to the face and there’s literally a woman giving birth at the rink.

A baby being born AT the game?! Welcome baby Connor! (I assume it’s going to be a Connor, it’s an Oilers game and the Oilers collect Connors)

A promising start for the Condors didn’t finish as strong. The Reign continue to have the Condors number winning their 7th out of their last 8 matchups. Lost Leppanen to injury and hopefully he’s ok. Condors have a chance to clinch a playoff spot Wednesday with a win vs Tucson. 6-3 final

Bouuuuuuuuch

Can we do more of what we did last game instead

It’s #caturday so here’s my simultaneously brilliant and stupid cat Waylon treating my closet as a jungle gym. He is 20lb and I have no idea how he is balancing just on clothes hangers. Sorry you gotta see his naughty bits. As you can see he doesn’t have much of a tail to cover up.

Just a constant in the game since I got interested in curling as a kid. Vic was the best and I’ll miss him.

My sister made Cadbury Creme Egg mini cheesecakes and brought me a small container of them when she came to visit yesterday. Friends, they are amazing. I could eat like 20 of them in a sitting because they’re so good.

As for the Oilers, I’m going to need them to show Carter Hart the respect he deserves, none, and get in his grill and get a greasy one. If he dies, he dies.

More Condors updates: Josh Brown is still really good at punching guys in the face. Unfortunately he’s still just an average AHL defenceman. So so good at face punching though. Kenny Connors didn’t fare well.

It’s Hammer time over in the Condors/Reign game as James Hamblin scores his 27th. In the time it took me to write this the Condors have given up a shorthanded goal to the Reign. It’s 3-3

Terrible call. Holding used to mean something.

Sam Poulin, fresh out of the room after needing to be sewn up and his nose covered in gauze after a fight earlier in the period, directs home a Matvey Petrov shot. Condors score one early and score another one late in the 1st. 2-1 Condors at the intermission

The Condors struggling power play finally cashed in. Roby Järventie from Ike Howard and Quinn Hutson at 1:47 of the 1st. Important goal for this team. 1-0 Condors

Watch the 1st period of the Condors game before the start of the Oilers game tonight for free (the whole game will be archived to watch later too)! Bakersfield and Ontario at 7pm MST is the AHL/Flo Hockey game of the week.

I’m going to need this Condors team to lock in a bit more down the stretch. Sloppy sloppy now for 2 games in a row and they blew a 2-0 lead in this one. Really need to figure out the PP, it’s ice cold. It’s sucking momentum lately. A lot of kids on this roster and it’s been showing. 6-3 Gulls

QUINN HUTSON SHORTHANDED GOAL!!! Great wrister for his 29th. He’s been starting to feel it on the PK. I’m happy he asked to be put on the PK after his last stint with the Oilers. He’d been given some advice from the org to work on adding more tools to his game and he’s been doing that. 5-3 Gulls

Both teams must have hoovered up piles of Peruvian marching powder between periods because that 2nd period was madness. 7 goals combined — Gulls scored 5, the Condors scored 2. Condors D was not good. Clattenburg went nuts to defend a teammate, so that was fun. He’s an adorable little psycho.

Luke Prokop, not Alec Regula, is now getting credit for the assist. That’s 2 points this game for Prokop. It’s also now 2-2 after 2 quick Gulls goals.

Ethan Keppen scores a big 4th line goal. Connor Clattenburg and Alec Regula with the assists. 2-0 Condors

Quinn Hutson drills the puck off of a Gull defender and it pinballs into the net. Luke Prokop with some great work to set the play up and he’s got an assist. 1-0 Condors 1:42 into the 2nd

At the end of the 1st there’s no score. The Gulls with double the amount of shots as the Condors at 10-5. Calvin Pickard has been excellent so far. He had his road hockey king style and swagger back in that period.

Isaac Chotiner: You say the two cats who live in your house are "Jerks" and you don't care for them Me: Absolutely. They are the burdens of my life Chotiner: It seems you spent an hour searching for special food for them and paid more for it than you do even for your own food. Me: That's--Hold on,