"I'm pretty sure that's just an urban myth, MJ." At least he thinks it is –– his powers helps him burn calories hard. "It really depends on how much batter I have leftover, heh."

"Great! Let me get to it so I don't leave you feeling starved!" And to take her attention away from increasingly terrifying painting, ugh. "I finally memorized Aunt May's wheatcake recipe." He begins rummaging through his cupboard, "So, you'll finally get to see what all the hubbub's about."

He's not even going to question how she managed to actually recognize the artist –– a shake of his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Something ... like that, look –– " He's exasperated, "Do you want anything? To, like, drink? Eat?"

"That –– " He walks over to her, staring at the painting. Almost baffled, before realization crept in. Gritting his teeth, he mumbles a name under his breath. " ... I did not –– and I plan on getting rid of it. As soon as possible."

He cringes inwards at himself –– idiot. He gently closes the door once she's inside, turning his head at her –– watching her pace around his apartment. "N –– Not saying that you're, like, a mess or anything ... ! Haha –– !" Play it cool. 💦

Subtle. But he is caught off-guard by her hug, a light "oof" escaping his mouth. Nevertheless, he can't help but lightly hug her back. "It's good to see you too," A soft hum. "Glad you're doing well for yourself –– for the most part."

"Santa Claus?" He's joking –– really. He gently opens the door to her, smiling at her –– leaning his arm against the doorway as he eyes her up and down. " ... Somebody's eager. Ya miss me 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 much?"

His eyes widened on her last text. An eyeroll. "Never change, Red." He'll never got used to the Watson Humor, it seems.

He simply just rolled his eyes at her response. Typical. 📲 har-har-har 📲 just get over here you dork

I've got a sore back.

He stared at her text for what seemed like an eternity –– he bit the inside of his cheek, before exhaling. 📲 i'll have to check my schedule ;) In Parker Text Terms, that meant "Sure, why not?" 📲 whatever you're comfortable with. A beat. 📲 do NOT get any funny ideas

ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ’s sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴇʟsᴇ.. ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ’s ɢʀᴏᴡɪɴɢ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ғʟᴀᴍᴇ 🎨: Ink4884 18+ / #marvelrp : not new to character

📲 dunno 📲 might wallow around in my depression, play some video games, watch some crappy 2000s stoner comedy on my tv, wallow in my depression He pauses –– momentarily. Tap-tap-tap. 📲 why do you ask?

📲 Ugh. Secret Hospital? Peter paused –– for a moment, thinking it over. 📲 The show would be halfway more tolerable if you were in it –– I say give it a shot.

📲 I think it's more like an Aquaman situation, or something? Or maybe it's more like Beauty and the Best, where he gets *turned* into a Lobster ... man? He hasn't actually read the plot synopsis. 📲 wow. how subtle. that wink emoji really brought everything together.

📲 That's only *one* reason He grinned at his text –– lightly biting the inside of his cheek. 📲 ain't superhero fatigue a pretty big thing right now? 📲 hm 📲 how about lobster man? :P

His brief gaming session is momentarily paused by the vibration of his phone –– he spares a glance at the messenger, a light quirk of his brow. Hm. 📲 not too sure 📲 but i heard they're holding auditions for that one jfk play down on broadway 📲 i think you'd be a pretty good jackie. haha.

She'll get the part –– he knows it.

... alright.

... what.

That's ... fair. What did I do, this time?

–– I wonder if that Superhero Dispatch Network pays well ...

━━━━⊱💎⊰━━━━━━━━━━ • ᴀ ᴋᴇᴇɴ ᴇʏᴇ ᴀɴᴅ • ᴀ ꜱᴛʀᴏɴɢ ʜᴀɴᴅ • ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɪɴɢᴘɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇʀᴄɪʟᴇꜱꜱ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀ ᴏꜰ ɴᴇᴡ ʏᴏʀᴋ ♡ + ↻ ━━━━━━━━━━⊱💎⊰━━━━

Sometimes –– usually it's just bruises.

I'm not a blusher, believe me. The only red thing that'll appear on my body is my costume, and whatever blood that is punched out of me.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ * 𝒔𝒉𝒆'𝒔 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍. ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍

What?! No! What is with you –– ?!

No, no –– it's just ... y'know ... ... I'm a teacher, I happen to pick up on this kinda stuff.

No reason.

... Do you have ADHD?

"Wh –– ... ... I ... ... okay?" He's getting super mixed feelings right now.

"Alright, if you say so."

Aren't you banned?

“Not much to write home about.” He made a dismissive wave of his hand — a light frown. “Same old, same old — I’m more bored than anything.”

“Hey, Wondy! Long time no see!” The arachnid-clad hero descends upside down via his web with the ever so slightest tilt of his head. “ … I’ve been, uh — busy.”

WE WILL BE THIS // TILL SYSTEM FAILURE.

… Pfft.

Uh-huh. That's nice, sweetheart.

And ... that will prove what, exactly?

No kidding.

Split custody. Figures. “That’s good, that’s good.” At least they’re still talking — he searches for words. “ … Break ups are never easy, Jess. I can speak from … personal experience.” A beat. “ … if you need, y’know, someone to talk to and confide in, I’m your guy, alright?”

"Oh. Right." He had almost forgot about the whole thing between her and Luke. A pause, he searches for words. " ... Have you talked to him? At all?"

"I was!" He chuckled softly –– lightly biting the inside of his cheek. "When you've been committed to a long term relationship like I have, you ... uh –– kinda lose all charisma," A beat. "Funnily enough."