After 20 years, my darling girl has left me to figure it all out on my own.

LAMARCA CHEESE/PASTA 3rd&22ndish, NYC, 2005. Pint of pasta for $7. Pesto with heavy cream, atop gnocchi. OR, fusilli with aurora sauce topped with smoked mozzarella. One grilled chicken thigh on the side. All I'd eat all day long. The thing a friend could wave under my nose, wake me from the dead.

For those of us leaning on cocktails a bit, while the world burns, let me turn you on to: 1.5oz lemon juice, .5-1oz grenadine or cherry liqueur (to taste, I just kinda splash it in there), 2oz decent rye or bourbon, shake, top with club soda and an orange slice. It tastes like an iced tea, kind of.

For years I have had one singular white whale joke I’ve wanted to make in Baltimore, and finally I’made it.

Ex, usually pretty oblivious, called me to ask our youngest when he last spoke to the neighbor kids on his block. He hasn’t seen anyone over there in a couple of days. They’re from I think Guatemala? He’s worried. I feel sick.

Okay but the hype is real. Get into THIS. www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-...

Hey, I know a lot of you use Discord. You need to get on this survey and make it damn clear to them that this would be the absolute wrong direction. The last thing we need is the slop-spewing environment-chewing plagiarism bots invading there, too. discord.sjc1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_...?

Me, every time I start drafting the email I'm going to send to the wedding venue that has strung us along for the better part of a year, and which we will not be using.

TW sick pet So IDK. My almost 20 yr old cat is dying. That's the only way to say it. She was diagnosed with an oral mass the day after Thanksgiving. We didn't put her through the stress of biopsy. It's most likely melanoma or something. The average survival after diagnosis is something like 6 wks.

also reading m/m is like freeing your mind from the panopticon prison of heterosexuality no matter how you present or get your freak on tbh

why would women like a series based on a book written by a woman in a genre largely written for women and a subgenre full of the most ferally horny women around. who knows

These doctors getting interviewed are saying things like "I want to pinch myself" and describing these results as "breathtaking." Honest to god, if y'all ever want a hopium hit? Check out medical advancement news. Constant advances.

Texting from different floors of the house, about important matters.

i will grow old & grey & beautiful & frail. i am going to outlive the bigots who demand my corpse. i will have grandkids who call me grandma & spend holidays on a wraparound porch drinking margaritas with my sisters & our chosen families. fight for our future, not martyrdom. no free bodies.

If you're inclined to take stock of what you did and didn't accomplish in 2025, please remember that it was a *tremendously* distressing time to be a person with a functioning moral compass in the U.S. We live in extraordinarily dark -- and taxing -- times. Go easy on yourself.

Alex took this photo of my trusty writing partner sleeping under my feet just now.

"Has Heated Rivalry made everybody insane?" Anderson Cooper, asking the hard questions.

I'm gonna get a BUNCH of tattoos.

Me, bed rotting and scrolling dogtok for the last hour. Alex: what are you up to, are you okay. Me: what if we get a Havanese puppy? Alex: hmmmmm Ok but what if we did

I used to make copies for Ice T

Our two gayest cats really got into the season finale of Heated Rivalry

December 25th. The day the Fellowship departs Rivendell to destroy the One Ring. Whatever you celebrate, may you have the courage to take the first steps to defy and endure against the dark, and rekindle light into the world.

Alright ALRIGHT. Alex turns 40 on Saturday, and I am throwing a surprise party he only vaguely knows about (he lives here, I had to selectively provide information to him in order to explain my actions all week long). I have been curating a playlist for WEEKS. I am so proud of it.

Hi, sorry, this is UNHINGED. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_fD...

My holiday card from my boss mentioned AI so that's how work is going.

Guys I don't mean to alarm you, but I just found out that when pizza's on a bagel, you can have pizza *anytime*.

Independence Day. You know what, hell yeah.

Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy

My youngest has been on adhd medication for 3 days. Similarly to the way I responded to the same medication, the difference has been immediate. I have received multiple messages from teachers letting me know he has been very engaged and doing work in school. Like, instantly.

Update, *I* am finding it challenging to assist.

My 11 year old has to do MLA citations for her big 5th grade project. She’s finding it… challenging.

So. I need you all to know that I had a haircut experience so fucking bad, so shocking, so panic-inducing, that all I could think as I stared into the mirror waiting for the manager to come over to me was: “Claire, it’s FRENCH”

The anniversary of my mother’s passing was Wednesday. She adored Rob Reiner. I was raised in a Reiner/Marshall-dynasties-loving house. This is devastating and I’m so glad she isn’t here to hear about it. I’m just so heartsore. We decided tomorrow is when we show the kids Princess Bride.

O, horrible, O, horrible, most horrible!

But also look at this cat

Our gate blew open & Goose got out. He's fine, we ran out front (I was barefoot. In the snow), hollered for him, around the corner he came. Now his head is buried in Alex's neck because you know, one minute he was here, and the next minute he was *there* and beloved father was nowhere to be seen.

Into every generation, a rivalry is heated

writers, destroy chatgpt by embracing your inner weirdo pervert. it will never be able to replicate true freak shit.

🎉

I hung the Christmas lights

In Rehoboth for the marathon and had one of the most wonderful restaurant experiences of all time, only to find out at the end that its Atlas-owned. UGH. Why are they EVERYWHERE???

ready for whatever this new episode of #HeatedRivalry brings

a load-bearing component of “the magic of Christmas” is the invisible domestic labor of moms you are now realizing how much she was doing for you and instead of just thanking her you’ve decided it’s about the decline of civilization

Trumpy performative aunt who was unhelpful with my ailing mother in the year before her death and who implied I better stay involved in family events or else and then proceeded to not speak to me again (11 months and counting!) RSVPed to the family Christmas party and said she's making deviled eggs.

Beauty-fool

Our housewarming was last night. It was so good and it felt pretty awesome to show off the new place. The most repeated compliment was that we have only been here for a month and a half(ish) but it looks lived-in and welcoming. I was asked to come decorate for people which made me feel POWERFUL.

Today in home ownership: I figured out how to fix the gas fireplace so it doesn’t create a cloud of soot, and Alex figured out how to make the radiators get hot. These accomplishments brought you by how fucking cold it was in here this morning.

Who’s watching Heated Rivalry? I need to hear if you’re as flustered as I am. As a seasoned peddler of smut I’m surprised at myself, but it is what it is, my pearls are clutched.

✅ Cran Chocolate Walnut Cookies ✅ Pumpkin bread with pepitas and bitter chocolate chips ✅ Pumpkin pie ✅ Apple pie 🔜 Apple crumble (for Saturday) ✅ Mac-n-Cheese ❌ Glazed carrots ✅ Sweet potatoes ⌛️Stuffing ⌛ Turkey ✅ Ham ⏳Green beans 🔜 Rolls Decided I don’t need 2 orange vegetables on the table.