Guys I got a spray tan just to try it, just to see if I want to do something very lowkey and subtle for wedding time, you know, for fun. Uhhhh.... I got the lightest shade. I don't look orange or bad or anything but the difference in the spray tanned area and the non-spray tanned area is SHOCKING.

I took Alex with me to the nail salon so he could get a pedicure while I got my nails done. I could hear him chatting away to the technician and other people but I have gone to the same nail lady for most of a year so I was busy yapping with her.

My betrothed.

ok water calm down

Turning my bathroom into a greenhouse is coming along nicely.

It’s just me, here again, working my second job well into the night, in the hopes that I will succeed at it and be able to quit my first job, which is slowly killing me.

One of our wedding venue possibilities went unresponsive after sending us a proposal. Just found out they turned it into a bar. Soooo…. What would’ve happened if we signed a contract earlier?????

Well it happened. I got so jealous of the setting in Happy Place that I put the book down and booked a beach stay for late June. Fucking yolo, tbh.

5 years ago today I left my ex-husband. Best decision I ever made ✌️

Also yes I got the one thing I truly wanted for Mothers Day:

I am once again stating that the television program 9-1-1 is one of the most glaring signs I know of that society is actively collapsing and our collective intelligence is on a rapid decline. And yet here I am watching it 🤡

My daughter just saw me leave the bathroom after a very long bath, book in hand, and asked me if I had been READING in the BATH. I confirmed this, and she was AMAZED to learn this was an option. Go forth, my child. Self care to the max.

Meryl Streep is so good at looking at people. She looks at someone and I’m like “damn, have I ever in my life actually looked someone??? I guess not.”

I love our house but our neighbors are so fucking irritating it's unreal. There's an older man living there who I am convinced lives in the back yard. He's never not there. He spends a lot of time every day just spraying home depot buckets with the hose. Drives my dog insane. And he's ALWAYS THERE.

IMO, the Coach Beard odyssey episode in season 2 of Ted Lasso is one of the best episodes of TV ever made. Just perfect.

Photographer ✅

take a second and REALLY THINK about what an absolute demon you have to be for KING CHARLES to come off simultaneously more wise and authoritative AND more fun and gregarious than you, even though no one in his life has ever called him any of those things the bar is so low it colonized Australia

You should read every single word of this www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

One of my neighbors has the last name of Pope, and they keep missing their FedEx package so the delivery driver apparently has time on their hands

Big day for wedding planning - we locked in a DJ and the ICE CREAM TRUCK (îcë crēm trük, iykyk). I have a photog short list. And we finally sent several deposits. It's fuckin happening, friends.

Mystrade May 2026 Is Live! www.tumblr.com/meansgirlwri... #mystrade #sherlock #bbcsherlock #221bcon #ao3 #fanfiction #ficfest Plenty of info at the link, but see thread for more details.

An astronaut zooming in on the edge of the surface of the moon and going "Duuude." is a close second to "The mewn" in terms of me feeling so super comfortable and invested in everything about this. Baltimoreans in space! gen-x and millennials in space! Fuck yeah!

#StreetArt by Gaia #Baltimore, #Maryland, #USA

Maya Angelou on the joys of being edited

FRIENDS! Help me quit my soulsucking day job that wants to replace humans with poorly functioning robots! If you or someone you know is looking to buy or sell a home, no matter where you live in the US, reach out to me! I can refer you to an amazing agent in my network and receive referral bonuses!

Killing it at trivia you guys

"Someone tried to strangle Sneako", "Clavicular just had a drug overdose", I refuse to believe that understanding any of these headlines is better for me than chain-smoking

Mystrade May 2026 Is Live! www.tumblr.com/meansgirlwri... #mystrade #sherlock #bbcsherlock #221bcon #ao3 #fanfiction #ficfest Plenty of info at the link, but see thread for more details.

We’re in Greensboro, NC!

Alex: why does your phone have so many adoptable dogs on it? Me: the algorithm shows me wedding dresses, which I already have, and second dogs, which ☝️ I do not have…..yet 👀

I love the way Reid Wiseman, born and raised here in Baltimore, pronounces the word "moon." It makes me feel safe, IDK what to tell you.

I know what I want for Rex Manning Day 🙏

I am so glad we leave tomorrow for our two-day journey Atlanta-ward, and that I am not working. The surreality of this day, I cannot repeat it tomorrow.

Not me waiting til the last minute to even think about what I need to pack for 221B Con. I usually have this finished well ahead of time. We're driving, so I don't have to be reasonable and can pack WHATEVER I WANT! So, who will I be seeing in Atlanta this weekend??

Stainless steel pot handle vs. my hand.

If you see this, i implore you to post a picture from whatever device you’re using, with no explanation.

Finally.

Is anyone able to get a decent short (like, a regular, normal, fuckass bob) haircut for under $100 anymore? I'll say it again, I know we all have to make a living, but god DAMN the prices. And the apparent rarity of a stylist who knows how to CUT HAIR, not just color it???

Me: so do you have any good gossip? My daughter, turning to me with the biggest eyes you’ve ever seen: oh, HONEY! Do I???!!!

Project Hail Mary fucking slapped, I feel my load has been lightened.

Watching the contractor, to whom my shit ass job theoretically outsourced 2 very reliable people's jobs, get away with just not doing the assignments handed to them... oh, it sure is something.

If anyone is into popcorn, my oldest is doing a fundraiser for her class to go on a big overnight field trip to study environmental science-y things. I don't want to put her face all over the internet, so HMU in the DMs if you're interested and I'll link you! Some of the flavors pictured here!

If anyone is into popcorn, my oldest is doing a fundraiser for her class to go on a big overnight field trip to study environmental science-y things. I don't want to put her face all over the internet, so HMU in the DMs if you're interested and I'll link you! Some of the flavors pictured here!

Listen I know everyone has to make a living but wedding photography packages *starting* at $7k is absolutely absurd.

Passed my real estate licensing exam and thinking about rewarding myself with pizza, calamari, and COPIOUS amounts of wine this evening.

Utz potato chip factory! We also did a canoe-focused day trip. One time, there was an alpaca farm.

EVERYBODY IS OUTSIDE!!!! ☀️🌸🕶️

I am so close to quitting my job and it is getting harder and harder every day to pretend that I care about it whatsoever.

The thing I run into a lot at work, and it drives me up a wall, is the way that generative AI has made certain types of people think they know how to do things they absolutely do not.