Relax, Mr. Angry Slacks

2/3 golden girls are in love with Vegeta #tomodachlife

I hope everyone stuck behind this train is enjoying this one woman show of Dr. horrible’s sing along blog

Everyone can relax, Spider-Man and Captain America have entered the library

“That’s not you, that’s Abraham Lincoln”

ring dings and pepsi

the way my dog knows it’s time to start the day once I put on my glasses

Me: why do I know the name Walter Koenig? Google: he was on Star Trek Me: oh! He was in that futurama episode!

they call me dr. 69

paint my muscle car prune color please

Take a chance on some space ham (alright alright alright)

Love that Danhausen

ICE just gunned down ANOTHER person, beating a man half to death before shooting him at point blank range. What the fuck are we doing? ARREST ICE NOW. PROSECUTE ICE NOW. I will not rest until every single one of these murderers is held accountable to the communities they terrorize.

you know what? drink your big black cow and get the hell out of here.

Me: I wish I had a nickname Me: -has a nickname- Me: not that

[12 hour ASMR of cypress the dog chewing a fish shaped bone]

lukewarm take: if you can’t watch your kids, you probably shouldn’t bring them to the library

Morning.

My goodness the way I am realizing in my 30s that my mother is the best person who has ever existed

My ex: it’s not a nap if it’s before 10 am Me who has been awake since 4 am: fuck u

Renee Good.

The people of this nation are now living in constant fear of what the Trump Administration may do next. DHS and ICE are losing credibility as their lies and lawlessness are creating chaos and tragedies. Shame on those using these moments to incite terror.

you want a light switch? why not zoidberg

I’ve been playing the sims 4 businesses pack and one of my sims is a tattoo artist. Her business is 5/5 stars now so now she’s giving townies ugly ass face tattoos and they all love them

What I always hear: “We can’t afford to pay our workers more than $15 an hour.” What I never hear: “We can’t afford to pay our CEO millions of dollars a year.” Funny how that works.

old man yells at country

“She looks like a toddler who was crying on picture day” #dogsofbluesky #catahoulaleoparddog #dogsinpjs

I need to call the ghostbusters after this

Me: I love you My dog: *burps in my face*

lol oh!

I used to babysit a two year old who called Christmas “crimmus.” He’s turning 14 next week, and yet crimmus is still in my vocabulary

the sweet girl looks good in marker!

the way I thought ken rosenberg’s nickname in gta was “big baby” simply bc my introduction to him was #callmekevin

the only reason I drive with a window down in 39° weather

me when I see a James Patterson book

It’s a millennial Christmas over here #Hanson

[barry zuckerkorn voice] those are bawls.

you say it’s your birthday? it’s my birthday too!

Taps sign

My goodness Dave the diver is my happy place

Fresh out the ER and what do I do? Come home and clean dog barf off of carpet.

taking offers to step on people dm if interested

18% on my way to the plot of 27 dresses

the cutest judith there ever was

Cypress the dog had a very hard day yesterday, but now she’s on her favorite couch and snoring so loud. The bravest girl to ever

the realization that I’m dating The Dude

Steven universe has no business having the sexiest song I’ve ever heard???????