This is (regrettably) 100% true

my children are half lil’ stinker on their mother’s side

Pretty sure there are never more aluminum neck guitars in the city of Minneapolis at one time than during Caterwaul

If you think egg prices are bad, you should see what the “bottom half of jeans” is going for these days

“now the jingle hop, has begun”

Hey @ceej.online - don't forget to leave a plate of corn out tonight (Thanksgiving Eve) for the Night Turkey!

Man it’s crazy that the dudes in Jaws are drunk the whole time they fight the shark

frogs have zero business being in trees - they definitely don’t belong up there.

Pitching my idea for MasterJeff, a new competitive cooking reality television show that’s basically just MasterChef, except everybody is named Jeff. Any networks looking for a new culinary hit?

Just got my first mosquito bite of 2024. On March 11th. In Minnesota.