Things you’d never thought you’d see: Tony Cottee on The Chase, getting to the final Chase on his own and getting 11 and 3 push backs. God bless TC.

This really is like watching Everton play cricket isn’t it.

Can I just shock you? I like Ollie Robinson, despite anything I’ve ever said about and will do so in the future.

The England cricket team have got so much sillier since January and in many ways you can only applaud them. Or wave at them as they head off back to the pavilion.

Went for me lunch break early so I could watch some BazBall™️ Series 4. So obviously it started raining and there won’t be a ball bowled before said break is over. Obviously.

BazBall™️ is back today:

Someone’s written on the bus stop outside Walton Hall Park “Keira Starmer out!!” I don’t know what she’s done to upset anyone but I hope it works out for all concerned.

One of the all time diary entries from Raymond Domenech.

Why the fuck were they spying on Oxford?

Bolton’s shirt sponsor size is deeply offensive. Almost as offensive as Andy fucking Hinchcliffe.

On second thoughts, it’s a clear handball:

The Celtic penalty gets worse the more you see it. Hell of a hand ball to smash it into the stands like that.

Andros Le Tissier more like: www.instagram.com/reel/DX9X_Hx...

To the TNT commentator, it would be highly surprising if Paul McCartney is watching this Europa League semi final. No matter how much they sing that ruddy song.

I’m absolutely completely invested in either Arsenal or Atletico completely disgracing the sport and shithousing their way to winning the final.

PSG serving for the first set in Paris.

Baldrick, take a memo, I want on my headstone: “My name is Barry McHale and I’m bloody annoyed.”

Absolutely astonishing that Gary Rowett hasn’t been able to work his magic. Said no one ever.

That’s an excellent head loss from that Leicester lad being subbed off.

Roy Keane reckons United have been “lackadaisy”. And it’s really to hard argue with that.

Yes Lancs.

Me on a daily basis. Even after attempting to clean it and knowing full well there’s loads more to do.

I’m not sure who I really want to win the Masters. But I’m absolutely certain I don’t want Patrick Reed to win the Masters.

Anyone having a banter renewing their season ticket or just lucky old me?

Just remembering how good Bowie was at losing his marker.

These county cricket streams are weird or maybe it’s just the one at Northants. They’ve seemingly got HD cameras for every other angle on the ground yet seem to have CCTV cameras for the ones at each bowlers ends.

Well colour me shocked, another fucking Monday night game.

Well they’d have only got snotted by Denmark on Monday so may as well go out now.

Bold strategy from Kelleher to sit down instead of trying to save the pen.

E ef fucking cee. They do alright sometimes.

The high of this mornings joke has well and truly been nullified by making an arse of myself by running away from not one but two bees at the bus stop before. With every passing car rightly mocking me.

I just did a magnificent Michael Thomas 89 joke in work then that no one got onto. All our systems are down and the manager is on the phone to IT and was saying “Barry’s is down, mine is down…” and I said “….Dalglish just stands there”. And nothing. Absolutely nothing. I am appalled.

“After review, Senegal were adjudged to have not one but two Everton players in their squad, my final decision is they can fuck off and I’m gonna give it to Morocco in about two months time.”

Thank god Chelsea are respecting the ball otherwise they’d be in big trouble.

Apart from those times today, recently and in the past when I absolutely gave a fuck about T20 cricket, who seriously gives an absolute fuck about T20 cricket?

That Chelsea keeper is fucking last.

Can someone with a better understanding of cricket explain why Rehan Ahmed hasn’t been getting in the team before now?

Knocking the bails off with your bat is a bold strategy, let’s see if it pays off for them.

Absolute banter batting this from Sri Lanka.

To be honest, they all want sacking even if we scrape through this game. Absolute shambles. May as well give Thierno Barry the last over.

Back in work after a week off and I’m apoplectic with rage right now.

Very bold of Hearts to select Henri Paul at centre half today.

Playing out from the back is a bigger stain on the game than VAR.

I feel this ref has one more crowning turd in the water pipe left to come. An absolutely astonishing performance so far, somehow made worse by having to listen to Danny Murphy.

Harry Brook being fucking stupid again is it?

So did Blackburn get back to us over our loan bid for Shearer?

Sure, there’s plenty of UEFA Cup action, and sausages, to be talking about, but for me the biggest talking point is the size of the aisles at Lille’s ground. They could probably get another 10k in that ground if they just closed them up.

Licence to Sausage

Football has just happened in a big way.

Do good Everton.