Having a good bagel store in the tiny city in the middle of Canadian nowhere where I live is so odd but truly a blessing. Poppyseed bagel with dill cream cheese is my ride or die she has my back.

"Ok so my character is (insert dramatic name) she's basically like (several minute description of features, haircut, outfit, general vibe)" "What class is she?" "Hmm?"

Biphobia is real (carabiner got stuck in my office chair at work and made me look really dumb when I tried to stand up)

inspired by @dialacina.com

"it's Halloween and he's dressed up as a clown" fuckin tell him Buck holy shit

Posting 42 identical images of marble as thugs beat people in the street, as the clock runs down on a million children going hungry, he wonders briefly: "was I always this empty? Was there a time I had anything inside me?" But then it's gone. More photos of the gold faucets, they'll like that.

2 home runs in 3 pitches let's fucking gooooooo

Please god let them put Kershaw in, let the boys mash that bum.

Using your last challenge to try and get back a terrible base running call is definitely a choice

You're killing me Bo

My friends and I are playing cyborg, which is a ttrpg and we randomly rolled our characters. My character is named ghoul, her style is described as murdercore, she is "doll faced," wants to be famous and she's a nose picker. Dice don't lie.

Prince of Darkness might have the most confident opening of any film I've ever seen

Being a Canadian child in the early 2000s was being told you should care about something called "The Barenaked Ladies." It was strange their name was so adult and yet they sounded just like the wiggles.

Ok so now that the game is over can I just ask: what was that umpire's deal?

Prank em' Gaus

“Working class” is a term that refers to unemployed men in their 20s. Their work is gaming and they deserve to lead our political movements.

Ok well I don't like the way the crowd is reacting to Ohtani at all. Chill out.

LA Fraudgers

People talk about how you couldn't get people to pay taxes for libraries and firefighters if they didn't already exist but let's be real, we're so cooked you couldn't get people to pay taxes for wastewater treatment if it didn't already exist.

Oh my god dude just pack it up already! Donate the rest of your campaign funds to somebody's go fund me! Just Go Away!

Vince Staples: Riley Gaines got the koch money, call that Astroterf Woke Travis Scott: ASTRO!

Which of the Pod Save guys do we think wrote "We tortured some folks"?

"Spiritual connection to having a physical body" is an interesting way to describe having a Nazi tattoo. So many implications.

Average baseball player hits 15 home runs in a season factoid a statistical error, "Dingers" Georg Springer who lives in a cave and hits 10000 dingers each day is an outlier and should not have been counted

THREE??!?

ANOTHER ONE!?!

Addison "Large Adult Son" Barger they're calling him

When did everyone decide covering up the Epstein files is the only reason Trump does stuff? The fact he's a serial rapist has been public knowledge for awhile and no one has cared! Why would we assume he's sweating over this?

The New York Jankees everybody

I think I like the vikings because they are the football equivalent of a magic player who shows up to play with a Tupperware full of unsleeved mono-red draft chaff

If I ran a large social media site as a way to support a more esoteric tech thing most of the users don't care about I would simply hire a moderation and comms team and focus on the thing I actually care about instead of getting into constant, public and embarrassing fights with users.

The Pope should've called himself Pope Chicago I think.

Sometimes I feel like transitioning hasn't changed me that much and then I read some old texts from a few years ago and see how terrified of myself and everyone else I used to be. Makes me excited to see what a giant bitch I'll be in a few years.

If my friends loved me they would all start playing magic so we could cast spells at each other. They would let me send my goblins after them if they loved me.

The thing about UB magic sets is I don't care about drafting them. With UW sets you feel like you're exploring a new world, but UB sets you're just going "hey I know that" over and over. It doesn't feel like a cohesive experience.

Don't make me sic my gang of straight boys with bi wives on you

Trans ideology is playing magic the gathering at the comic book store, trans ideology is picking up my niece and running around with her while I hum the superman song, trans ideology is like, I dunno, going hiking once in awhile.

Travis Kelce retire bitch

It's crazy how NFL players never freak out when the yellow lines appear under them

I wonder if all those liberals that rushed to debase themselves eulogizing Charlie Kirk feel embarrassed now that it's been 48 hours and nobody gives a fuck anymore

I think it's really good that fascists have somehow sublimated their very well documented history of doing most mass shootings in the minds of average people and replaced it with "actually trans people just love killing." Nothing bad could come of this! HAHAHA FUCK!

Queer, non-white and neurodivergent people die every day. Immigrants die every day. Women die every day. Marginalized people of every stripe die every day. Children die every day. They are killed by the state directly or indirectly, they are killed by bigots, they die deaths of despair. Every day.

*at work, covered in concrete and doing peanuts dances to Modern Baseball* "yeah I think I'm getting enough sleep, why do you ask?"

Josh Allen man

Christian watching Trump hire the human embodiment of pestilence as the head of public health after decades of calling random liberals the antichrist voice: "hmmm I'm sure that means nothing"

I remember I listened to a couple episodes of his podcast and then in one he tried to justify Tamir Rice's murder, great to see he's still That Guy

It's not that I disagree with a policy for my own reasons, it's simply that I, a rich centrist pundit, understand the mind of the volk, the unwashed masses from *gestures at the Midwest*, and only I and I alone can speak for them. I have nothing so vulgar as "ideology" informing my opinions.

Went into the comic bookstore today to get some magic card sleeves and the guy at the counter first bumped me when I mentioned I changed my name, dudes rock.

Please god let this happen because it would be so funny

Keir Starmer is the perfect name for that fucking freak