The best way to lose weight is to have parents who live 8h apart both need your attention constantly and you still have a job. I lost two rings today (they slipped off me) 1 went down the garbage disposal and I’ve watched enough final destinations to know better. The other, only the lord knows.

If you ever think your babies leave you when they go to heaven..they visit all the time do not be sad. That’s no easy task I know. I wish I cld help more ppl feel better. If you feel that jump on ur bed and nobody is there..it’s them. They will visit dreams too! They’re happy now.

Had a long talk w my little sister about pet grief and how they want us to be happy and they’re watching and with us all the time. And it’s okay to get a new pet and we were crying I just want her to be happy. She knows I know things and I think it made her more comfortable. Life is hard lol.

My dad will try anything to get me to come down south he said it's warmer you can wear your dresses some days, lets adopt a dog, you have to get your car inspected. Blah blah blah.

Watching #vpr god these kids are young lmao they make my 38 feel like 58 lol. Also who takes time to "craft" a text I just say wtf I want to say and send lol. I don't know how much more I can watch these kids.

I’m going to get off of this app because it makes me actually bloodthirsty lol and I’m trying like so totally hard to be zen. Hope everyone has a fabulous new year except magats. xx

Chatting w my mother earlier I said wouldn’t it be such a treat if he died overnight? And she smacked me and said stop! I thought for a sec then I knew lmao… I said “Mommy I was talking about Trump not your husband you goose!” Oh how we laughed and laughed. 😈🤷🏻‍♀️😂

I really want to change my wifi name in my pa house from fucktrump2025 to fucktrump2026 but then I would have to reprogram all the seniors devices. Might be worth it to rile up the meth heads across the street. Again lol.

It’s flu season yall wash your hands wear masks ect. My older sister just called me high as a kite on NyQuil lol it was hilarious the poor dear.

The Woman in Cabin 10 was sooo good I had told myself I would read the book first as they’re always better but it’s hard to concentrate sometimes. Highly recommend the movie it is on Netflix.

Only one more day and then the god forsaken holidays are OVER. I can’t wait!!! And 2025 will die and who know what else! I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it!

Good morning! Ice rolling my face whilst watching #belowdeckmed I really dislike Kizzi and Joe. Yuck.

I will yap about how much I abhor the cold all day but all the same time I use my jade roller 2-3x a day for 15m and I keep it in the freezer lol. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s worth it thou.

Little fires everywhere. My other cousin just called having a panic attack. Talked her down. My family realllllllly loves the holidays Lmaoo. Not. Back to sleep.

Ladies and gentleman. The President of the United States. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE A SINGLE ONE OF YOU MAGAT MFs THAT VOTED FOR THIS 🍊 🎒 OF 💩!

Me to myself when I want a sweet treat…I’ll do 3 rounds of weights and then do 30 crunches. I do maybe a couple rounds and fall asleep or nothing. Lmao whoops. Not my fault it’s winter!

I was just watching this show and all these adults went on a carasaul and got sick and it reminded me of when my gf and I did the Ferris wheel and we were donzo. I do not think also petting every animal at the state fair was a good idea either.

Ppl wonder why I dislike the holidays.. my sister is upset w our mother my other sister is w our other parents upset. I was on the phone w three of my cousins today I’m going to check on one tomorrow. To quote Christmas vacation it’s Christmas no one’s happy! There is not enough weed in the world.

I have to go down south soon I am running out of excuses quickly. Just one month and I can escape again. I hate the north for the winter I hate the south for the maga of it all. But I think I’d rather be cold than surrounded by dingbats.

Just went on my day walk and I wish ppl wld stop doing drug deals behind my church I know what you’re doing in my 12-30 ages I was a very bad girl! Do it by the laundromat for Christ’s sake actually!

Going on my walk in the frozen tundra. I love winter here it’s so lovely. Not.👎🏼👎🏼

I was hoping he would pass for our Christmas treat. Two more hours fingies crossed!

Sending three ghosts tonight to fuck up Stephen Miller.

And I’m going to get more high or higher I don’t know the correct grammar someone let me know I don’t actually care. Lol merry Christmas.

My sister and I are playing mancala on iMessage and I accidentally fell asleep (I got very high) she was not pleased lmfao

My mother actually went on my walk with me today and swang on the swings and we just laughed and laughed. She doesn’t come as much anymore because of her knee but I bought her a years worth of tigers balm. By summer I’ll have her right as rain.

Here’s a tip from a decades long lic esthetician lol sleep 14-18 hours a day you won’t need concealer at all! It works wonders for me.

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate and if you don’t have a great mfing Thursday!

OMFG I’m the weird creepy aunt now! I’ve got over 20 aunts and uncles (6 on one side 8 the other plus spouses) and we always made fun of our aunts for commenting on everything we post. My nephew just post a cute ig w his gf and I comment you’re so sweet I cld eat you w a spoon. Who am I lol?!

FLOAT once upon a churning sea a memory of my father’s advice to me In times like these just float and rise above the foam Just Float and ride it out Just Float we can get through it Just Float

My mother went to my dispensary whipped out my senior photo in a photo album and asked the kid if he knew me and what did I buy there. That photo is 21 years old and that poor kid these old ppl come in acting wild af lol. They crack me up. I wish I cld see the security footage.

My mother asked if I wanted to go to the club for cocktail hour I said no I had plans to farm and she said what you’re driving to your dads? And I said oh no stardew. Rofl what is my life?

Just went on a brisk 30m walk it was invigorating. I will probably do another. I feel like I may be a 70yo in a 38 yo body and I mostly hang out w seniors so I may not be mistaken lmao.

So my cousin called and wanted a sleepover so I went we had a blast and we prank called all our aunts and uncles. Of course I snuggled w her cat all night and I woke up without my medicine so I drove home half alive. Idc worth it lol! Happy Christmas Eve to those who celebrate or good morning

Omg trying to pull up ur Uggs to take the bins out when you’re really high is hard. Imagine if I were to go on my walk lol. I did give my mother her first gift (cash in a cute tin) she loves that. Lmao I do as well rofl. What a day and it’s not nearly finished lol.

I went to my mothers office to badger her about bs and she looked me up and down and said I guess you won’t be going into public today. Rofl I grew up w this shade but dude it’s a snow day! I’m not going to wear a twin set or a dress wtf lmao. I’m in leggings and a hoodie fyi 😂

My cat in the snow she wants to go outside and see it then she runs back in as though I am the one who had assaulted her. I told her she wasn’t going to like it. But no one ever listens lol. She got a cat gogurt and went to sleep in her room. I wld love to come back as my cat in another life.

I just woke up saw the snow and screamed in rage lol. I gotta get out of here it’s happening so often now!

I just ran down the stairs cuz I heard my coco yelling and when I got to the landing I just went down the rest on my butt lmfao. Hardwood floors and socks do not mix I keep telling myself to get old man non slippy sock like I buy for my dad. Lol. Ice time.

Ok I’m going to mass tomorrow so I can say what I want now I hope jd Vance Trump mtg(don’t trust that ugly thing) and really all the republicans get a horrid case of the clap. Then I hope they all die from something on Christmas Day lol. But I’ll go to mass and I’ll be forgiven lmfao!

Omg just went on my night walk and went for a swing on the swings and a van came and they were hella sketchy. I’ve been in the underworld 20 years I can smell it a mile away. I just stayed on the swings cuz I had better advantage there and watched till they left. Bad news bears.

I asked my mother what percentage she thought I would get kidnapped going for a night walk she said zero percent I was offended. Then she said less than zero if you would knock off the gummies no one cld catch you then. Lol so I see her reasoning lmfao.

Everyone’s nicer to you when you’re pretty. Wish the world weren’t as cold as that but it is. I notice everything out there in the wild lol.

The second I get back from picking up dinner I’m taking a whole gummy lol. I’m not dealing w them tonight sober lol. I’d rather die.

Everyone thinks life is so easy with taking care of elderly ppl till they learn what sun downing is.

Forgot when I was high earlier I wld go get dinner lol looks like I’m walking rofl. It’s like 20 round trip max less than my garden walks I’ll live. Just wonder how many “friends” I will run into along the way.

This is probably how I look so young lmfao I give up on the month (already did) then sleep in an aquaphor mask for like ten days. Easy peasy! Lmao

I’ll be in the Christmas spirit when every being I love stops dying till then it’s just a day everyone dies around and I lose money for three weeks. Eff it I hate it and I hate this month.

I hope all providers on here know not to trust any other providers they’re never your friends lol.

Omg sometimes I hear from some ppl they are estranged from their family it makes me so sad. I talk to my parents my siblings at least three to six cousins and one to three aunts and uncles every single day. My Christmas wish is that everyone connects w their family no matter who or what.