PSA: the TER reviews claiming BBJ are false. Either they: 1. Confused the base for their entire dick. 2. Decided to make shit up. 3. Were so blown away by my skills they didn’t even realize the condom was on. This explains a lot of y’all’s confusion upon arrival. Now I know.

Not a football fan (cheering on hot men to suffer concussions and brain damage, no thank-you!), but I need to wear my state’s religious colors. Baseball forever! The All-American sport! Bring back the pastoral, slow and genteel, over serial rapid bursts of violence.

Spotify: You’re in the top 1% of listeners of Jan and Dean. Good God, say it’s not true 😳😩

Totally reasonable to finish this tour, drive almost the same 2,200 mile northeast loop in November, then hopscotch the 2,500 miles to California in December 😮‍💨😅 (I’m genuinely having one hell of a fun adventure, courtesy of my lovers. Thank-you 🥰.)

Me to my uterine lining right now:

‘Tis a beautiful morning in Cleveland!

Had to visit Niagara Falls while in Buffalo! (It was rather underwhelming.)

What movie do you consider “perfect”?

Sunday GFE

Self-photoshoot outtake. I haven't had any country fun really since I left for my westbound roadtrip on June 18th! I don't have a single scrape or bruise to excuse on account of getting banged up outdoors.

Just make the wall long enough to keep the shower water in, it’s not that fucking difficult! I shouldn’t need to use 2 towels to keep from slipping on a soaked floor because some boardroom dingbat decided it’s a brilliant savings strategy to only install half of what’s needed.

Three-week roadtrip, next a two-week dash between time zones by air! I do love getting around 💋

FYI: 9/26-27 Bowling Green (skipping Nashville) 9/28-10/5 Unavailable And...MORE TOURING 😅 (Please see website for specific availability each day.) 🍂October🍂 6-7 Atlanta 8-9 Boise 10-12 Billings 12-14 Minneapolis 14-16 Austin 16-18 Chicago 19-31 Unavailable

FYI: 9/26-27 Bowling Green (skipping Nashville) 9/28-10/5 Unavailable And...MORE TOURING 😅 (Please see website for specific availability each day.) 🍂October🍂 6-7 Atlanta 8-9 Boise 10-12 Billings 12-14 Minneapolis 14-16 Austin 16-18 Chicago 19-31 Unavailable

More pleasure prints on the headboard. Thank goodness for wipeable surfaces!

Nom nom nom

After the date

Yesterday a gentleman gifted me tomatoes from his garden, and today another gifted me honey and maple syrup from his homestead. So much labor goes into producing these simple things, and it means a lot when someone so generously gives them to me.

This banana tree tried to fruit indoors in Massachusetts. A round of applause for this champ!

The rest of this tour is almost all booked up. Claim your time now before it’s too late!

Good morning from Massachusetts

☀️

Sir, that is a misrepresentation of my glorious bush!

One German thing about me: carbonated water, always.

My kind of shopping spree, courtesy of the vendors at the Upper Merion Farmers Market

Here I rushed through my morning toots again to be ready for a date, only for them to No Show. Guys, please just cancel! I’m happy to keep farting around. Anyways…off to the farmers market!

Just the right amount, for some 🥰

Wait a second…this book is by the same James M. McPherson who wrote “Battle Cry of Freedom?” This is going to be a great read 😃

Canceled on Tysons & Columbia to pause and meditate on this and past moments in US history. Wandered the National Mall; detoured to the battlefields of Antietam and Gettysburg. Now in Philly, surrounded by 1776 and We the People. Anyways, which book should I read first?

The trials and tribulations of self-directed photoshoots

Afternoon delight

Sunset Silhouette

Somewhere above the Mason-Dixie line

Even while traveling, I make sure to check my status :)

Change of Plan: Been moving so fast, I almost didn’t see this special moment in time and place, and how wild it is that I’m here. Tysons & Columbia cancelled, will reappear for fun in Harrisburg. Sorry. Gotta go be weird & do some reflective, meditative peace warrior work 🕊️

Heyyy Alexandria, nice shops you got in Old Town

Today I will read all 14 issues of my New Yorker pileup.

“Love the bush” Music to my ears 🙂‍↕️

How are we liking this red nail polish, yay or nay?

If you followed the bush here from Twitter, here’s your reward! If you’re following me on this site instead of Twitter — thank you. I am shifting focus this way.

Homemade egg salad, courtesy of my neighbors chickens. Should I have put pickles in it? I went with red onions and an overload of chives and dill.

Booked this hotel specifically for photos on this green chez, but the desk unit couldn’t be moved to free up the window 😒

Hello from Atlanta 💋

We never left the Garden of Eden, merely became blind to it.

:)

Good to be home 💖

This is Lola. She’s learning how to trust people.

Obsessed with this new thing. Need more sexy things in this shade of green.

Found this little friend struggling on the ground in a Buc-ee’s parking lot

Sunshine on my shoulders