Feelin so deceptive and sleight, a coworker just added me on Facebook and gasped when he saw how muscular i am since im always pretty covered up at work

Catching up on invincible and damn he’s fine. Was def expecting him to be related to Mark and Nolan though

Im drunk and probably over sharing tonight. Here’s some peen because it’s been a while

Yall ever date someone that you don’t have much in common with? I’m really into this guy and the physical chemistry is amazing, the emotional support and communication is 10/10, and our long term goals align. but we just dont have similar interests. I guess im asking for advice, DMs open 🤷‍♀️

Eww I went on two dates and I’m developing a crush ugghhhh

Fridays Workout. Intense warmup buddy’s big balls … #Hodensport

Lost the charger for my thrusting vibrator so I impulse bought a fuck machine 🙄

I hope this isn’t problematic but I hate DL guys. Benefitting from the rights afforded to you by loud and proud queers while shunning them for being stereotypes you don’t want to be associated with is weak. And to think half of them got GFs/wives they’re manipulating and lying to. Gross.

need 🕳️ onlyfans.com/2346950144/o...

It is Sunday…

Putting my penis away to finally play the new resident evil 😋

POV: you're NEO and you're getting some head but also taking a boomerang bc it's 2015 and you're still inside the matrix.

From 7” to 0” 😵‍💫

Me and whom and whom? 👉👈 …………………………………………👆

Lmao we got someone to come inspect the chimney and give us a quote on remodeling and my sister saw this guy and her eyebrows touched her hairline she’s sooo into him all she’s missing was the whistle and AWOOGA

The urge to beg for a headlock from anyone with big biceps

The thing I miss most about my slut phase is getting bred by strangers and hitting up a drive thru afterwards. Like the load makes the fries taste better

Kinda wanna travel for my bday in June but not sure where. Torn between Toronto, Chicago, and Manchester, England

Just made the family spaghetti all’assassina with mussels, clams, and bacon 🤤🤤🤤 first time I made them a meal where they took their first bite, clapped, and laughed I’m so honored

Got my niece this as a gift for her 6th birthday. She just opened it and gasped, yelling “Yoooooooo” and ran around hugging it. I won today

Day 2: it’s a tie between 12 and X-2. I was so determined to clear everyone’s license boards and do the dozens of hours of side quests, but god the dance spheres were soooo cunt

Salmon and pickles is a crazy combo. Downright psychotic in quiche with garlic and mushrooms

Day 1: my first final fantasy was 2. I remember thinking it was so cute, reminded me of the Golden Axe games

Golly tequila sure is a stimulant

My mom to my sister: “Wow I wish you were as interested in having a baby as you are in anime men.”

*at work* “Why are we playing country? Put on the 90s R&B that puts people in heat”

Aww my job made a sign for me but there’s a typo :/

Love this sign so bad

Ok hear me out the dad in gremlins 🥵

Was terrified of working somewhere so butch and blue collar but I think they could use a faggy little f slur to spice things up 😼

Ivory says suffering builds character!

Morning edging got me musky as hell 😜

Rise and dwindle

Almost forgot Kansas was a state nobody talks about that place

“Some crimes can never be forgiven”

Anyone else hate when guys hit on you by talking about how tight they are? Like I’m sorry I got a big dick and at a certain point you’re just cutting off circulation. Sloppy pussy ftw

Sleepy weepy sex appeal

Fave horror romances?? I’m talking Let Me In, Frankenstein, Shape of Water, Bones and All, etc. What are some you’d recommend?

Put on a video explaining Marxist theory for the pets while I cleaned and prepped dinner… why is my dog so locked in. He’s sitting almost human

i hate when i label something as adult content bc of the sexuality activity or erotic nudity and the moderation system labels it again like i didn't do it myself the first fucking time

Leaving this job after 3 weeks but debating on giving the cutie in hr my number 😂

Had a mental breakdown yesterday because the new job was causing me crippling anxiety, but super optimistic because I have an interview for a job today with ZERO CUSTOMER INTERACTION 😍

Fave non-American snacks? I’m talking flavors you rarely if ever see in the US, especially savory. My faves are probably grilled steak Doritos and prawn cocktail potato chips

Hate feeling like I’m going insane when I cant afford to 😭

Mommy issues are the root of all evil

Polish food would be lethal if they seasoned they food 🤤

I just want a hairy belly in my face and his fat cock in my mouth 😭

Got rid of Spotify so I’m using SoundCloud until my first check and honestly kinda love it. The live performances, mashups, and other remixes are amazing

Fuck Disney but I love this rat