The thing I miss most about my slut phase is getting bred by strangers and hitting up a drive thru afterwards. Like the load makes the fries taste better

Kinda wanna travel for my bday in June but not sure where. Torn between Toronto, Chicago, and Manchester, England

Just made the family spaghetti all’assassina with mussels, clams, and bacon 🤤🤤🤤 first time I made them a meal where they took their first bite, clapped, and laughed I’m so honored

Got my niece this as a gift for her 6th birthday. She just opened it and gasped, yelling “Yoooooooo” and ran around hugging it. I won today

Day 2: it’s a tie between 12 and X-2. I was so determined to clear everyone’s license boards and do the dozens of hours of side quests, but god the dance spheres were soooo cunt

Salmon and pickles is a crazy combo. Downright psychotic in quiche with garlic and mushrooms

Day 1: my first final fantasy was 2. I remember thinking it was so cute, reminded me of the Golden Axe games

Golly tequila sure is a stimulant

My mom to my sister: “Wow I wish you were as interested in having a baby as you are in anime men.”

*at work* “Why are we playing country? Put on the 90s R&B that puts people in heat”

Aww my job made a sign for me but there’s a typo :/

Love this sign so bad

Ok hear me out the dad in gremlins 🥵

I like to leave the chip bag open so they absorb the flavor of my house

Was terrified of working somewhere so butch and blue collar but I think they could use a faggy little f slur to spice things up 😼

Dick vein on point today

Ivory says suffering builds character!

Morning edging got me musky as hell 😜

Rise and dwindle

Almost forgot Kansas was a state nobody talks about that place

“Some crimes can never be forgiven”

Anyone else hate when guys hit on you by talking about how tight they are? Like I’m sorry I got a big dick and at a certain point you’re just cutting off circulation. Sloppy pussy ftw

Sleepy weepy sex appeal

Fave horror romances?? I’m talking Let Me In, Frankenstein, Shape of Water, Bones and All, etc. What are some you’d recommend?

Been a while 😈

Put on a video explaining Marxist theory for the pets while I cleaned and prepped dinner… why is my dog so locked in. He’s sitting almost human

i hate when i label something as adult content bc of the sexuality activity or erotic nudity and the moderation system labels it again like i didn't do it myself the first fucking time

Leaving this job after 3 weeks but debating on giving the cutie in hr my number 😂

Had a mental breakdown yesterday because the new job was causing me crippling anxiety, but super optimistic because I have an interview for a job today with ZERO CUSTOMER INTERACTION 😍

Fave non-American snacks? I’m talking flavors you rarely if ever see in the US, especially savory. My faves are probably grilled steak Doritos and prawn cocktail potato chips

Hate feeling like I’m going insane when I cant afford to 😭

Mommy issues are the root of all evil

Polish food would be lethal if they seasoned they food 🤤

I just want a hairy belly in my face and his fat cock in my mouth 😭

Got rid of Spotify so I’m using SoundCloud until my first check and honestly kinda love it. The live performances, mashups, and other remixes are amazing

Fuck Disney but I love this rat

Friendly reminder that tonight is the perfect night to party. When you think it’s about to be last call they’re gonna set the clocks back and give you whole nother hour of spooky shenanigans

Went one day without cumming and I feel FERAL. How the hell do yall do locktober

Bless the woman in my neighborhood offering canned goods and candy to trick or treaters and their parents but why did my little cousin choose the box Mac and cheese over chocolate 😂

Drove by a huge lifted truck today and the only bumper sticker it had was “yes I’m compensating” with a 🤏🏼 next to it and honestly? That’s SEXY

Saw this in the checkout line at Barnes and wheezed like a dental drill

Chainsawman was so fun I think Reze is one of my new favorite characters

Hot dog lo mein kinda fire ngl it should not be that good

Cutest brand of white briefs? Finding them so sexy lately I NEED

FACT: Their heart rate spikes, their cortisol levels surge, and many go silent — not from peace, but from pain. That isn’t calm. It’s trauma. #EndCircumcision

Oh heavens strawberry cream cheese on banana bread 🥵

It’s therapeutic calling phobic, butch men “girl” and “babe” and “honey” they get so MAD

My parents’ utensil holder looks like big fat honky tonk blue balled low hangers

Cock cage recommendations? I just wanna be able to wear one without it being super obvious through my pants lol