not really sure how to get out of this

I need to just sh**t my brains out already

need to let go of a lot of things

it's hard living with myself with the guilt and shame I carry

there is so much greatly wrong with me

why do I pretend to be a normal human being when I'm far from it, I am a disgusting critter putting on a show everyday of my life

do you think I could be someone like you?

I am pathetic

I'm a rotting chunk of flesh that needs to disappear

Something unfortunate happened and I've been trying really hard not to focus on it/ think it's the end of the world and my friends I live with are trying to reassure me but I'm just freaking out and wish I wasn't so useless

it's disappointing to hear that somebody you thought was a friend was defending your abuser 👍

thinking about everything that I'm not

I am useless

Rewatching I want to eat your pancreas made me wonder if my last messages to Mau ever reached them. I wish I got to speak to them one last time before they passed away.

There are so many things I wish I could show you today

I am really missing Mau today

I need to start meds for PCOS but I already take (for me) an overwhelming amount of pills daily and I get scared about side effects every time I start something new

most of my life I've known and felt this feeling, it lives deep inside me and won't leave.

my heart broke reading this

grief is all I have left of you

I can be good I can be good I can be good

I need to get better I need to be good

PART OF ME DIED IN ORDER TO SURVIVE. I MAY GROW AGAIN， BUT I'LL NEVER BE THE SAME.

never want to be forgotten

never going to be good enough for anything

not sure how to get past what I'm feeling currently besides fucking up my arm

I wanna be this weight again...

I am so sorry you have to have me as an older sister

failure

I wish I could do anything right in my life

I ruin everything

I don't deserve anything

I make everything more difficult for the people around me

do you think that I've forgotten

I'm in pain and I want it to stop

i hate myself

I'm tired I should just end my life

I feel so incredibly useless

I am so sad today

I play a monster card in face down defense position (lay down in bed) and end my turn (go to sleep)

Anyone else freak out when they close their eyes in the shower/take a shower because they think something bad is going to happen to them

this time last year I was in Japan telling myself I was gonna jump off a bridge and k*ll myself

Real

i disappoint everyone i know

what didn't kill me fucked me up very badly

I'm trying my best to get through but man

today sucks

I wish I had the courage and a good relationship with my mom to tell her that her brothers were sexually assaulting me when I was a kid. I know she would never believe me. There were so many times as a kid I wish I could have spoken to her. She despised me. When I told her I wanted to kill myself->

I will never be the same again I am ruined

I want to sleep forever