what if we kissed next to the Raccoon City spidussy?

can’t believe i have to go to work today. i was just there 14 days ago. 🙄

Trickle Down Leonomics: a text from a friend that started RE9 before you asking where you’re at in the story while you simultaneously text a friend that started RE9 after you asking where they’re at in the story.

umbreller’s curse

it's a sunny 42 outside on this February morning, but i'm sitting pantsless at my desk in my top-floor SE facing apartment that's already clocking 68 degrees at 10am. 😮‍💨

sobbing with a gun being held to my head: "...A... *gasping* ACAB includes L-L-Leon S. Kenned-d-d-y"

guess who fired up another Bioware game this week

mirrors are so fucking weird. wdym that’s what i “LOOK LIKE”

caught my cat being a jerk to my other cat. looked him square in the eyes and said "be cool. don’t be all, like, uncool."

me seven days out of every month

just used a wet paper towel to rehydrate a dried turd nugget that’s been fused to my elderly cat’s anus so that it would soften up enough to fall off on its own. AMA.

the crocuses are blooming. i repeat: the crocuses are blooming.

absolutely no one at all: …. Leon S. Kennedy: TSCHYUH!

i’ve made peace with the fact that every time i leave my house it costs me $50. the mood elevator is worth the price of admission.

playing 3D chess against myself by timing my carnitas juuuust right so i get sick of the leftovers right in time to justify my premeditated date later this week where i WILL be eating my weight in fried food.

just had a terrible thought. what if my crush doesn’t invert the Y-axis ????????????

truthfully i have no idea why my work gmail just decided over the weekend to start sending the MOST important emails i regularly receive to spam, but i just know it has to do with some fuckass AI bullshit.

ep 5 of Heated Rivalry: for when you need to go from zero to horny to SOBBING

if you saw me at the store buying more heavy cream and eggs today no you the fuck did not

walking home from the grocery store lookin like Cher Horowitz after a trip to the mall cuz i had the audacity to think a handbasket filled to the brim would fit in my one single tote bag

something i don’t think i’d ever anticipated i’d do while living solo dolo as much as i actually do is licking my plate clean after dinner. so satisfying.

it’s officially my favorite part of Christmas day: the buffer period between morning excitement and holiday dinner where all my friends visiting their families decide to spend that time sending me the most unhinged memes known to man.

tripping your circuit breaker on a monday night is a great way to learn you need to replace the batteries in the headlamp you’ve been carrying around on winter hikes. 🤦‍♀️

you can spend ur whole life saying you’re “not a soup person” then one day you’ll sitting around on a lazy, cold Sunday in your 40s bein like damn, wish i had some soup right about now. smdh.

i love pimple patches cuz they are not only effective but also a great nonverbal way of saying “yeah, i KNOW.”

watching this week’s episode of Welcome to Derry where some real brutal shit just went down but i'm having a hard time feeling the proper emotions cuz you can hear birds in the background and my brain just keeps going "chickadeedeedeedee"

my eye twitch has been back for a week or so and it’s like … what do i even have to be stressed out about. my life is literally just cats and vibes and the occasional crushing weight of everything bad that’s ever happened to me. stop being so damn dramatic!

my hair is at the perfect length to put in a claw clip and look like a human yucca shrub

Welcome to Derry (2025)

sorry but if i lived in Derry and started hearing some fuck ass song through the pipes i’d just put my noise canceling headphones on and go about my day. none of my business.

if i make fun of you it means i like you. if im rude to you it means i hope this is the last time i ever see you. no, i won’t be explaining further.

so my new thing is going to bed with a book, not even being able to read a full chapter before feeling like i got hit with a tranquilizer dart and then turning off my lamp and laying in the dark until 1:30am while my brain does the psychic equivalent of the Diva Dance from the Fifth Element.

people on reality tv learn how to pour champagne challenge

losing my mind editing a wedding so i decided to stop and do a second cull. got rid of almost 400 photos. 😭 good god i'm SOFT.

my body was hurting sooooo bad that it didn’t even feel good laying in bed. turns out the cure was doing (1) exercise and then sitting at my desk to work instead of slouching with my laptop on the couch for an entire day. who knew.

nothing like going back and playing Resident Evil: Biohazard to remind myself what a goddamn charisma vacuum Ethan Winters is.

started a new Real Housewives journey #RHONY which is always a trip purely for the reminder of how terrible even rich people looked in the aughts. like the Countess wearing a fucking fitted bedsheet in her confessionals. 😹

it's been so nice having a week of brisk weather, but i'm ready for this heat wave to hit so that going outside sounds worse than sitting at my desk for 20 hours a day editing wedding photos and putting together slideshows.

doing my makeup rn even though i know it won't even be 2 hours into shooting today's wedding before i've completely decimated one of my eyebrows with my EVF

just sliced open my nail bed while breaking down an empty LaCroix box, in case you were wondering whether or not i was made of play-doh

i'm on my way to shoot a wedding, a job i've done for over 15 years, but once again i've spent my entire morning taking deep breaths while reminding myself that i'm just going to work like a normal person and not, in fact, dying.

just let gargamel have the smurfs. who cares

went to a concert tonite. i fear my knees may never recover.

me and @cremefraiche.bsky.social are back on our bullshit (having a conversation over text while simultaneously having a completely different conversation over DMs), iyec

My enemies are about to respawn

coming down from a bizarre, out of left field terrible awful no good day with the holy trinity of self care: food, shower, & real housewives. amen.

if someone says to you “it’s not my story to tell, but…” put on your showercap babes you’re about to get the most explosive bath bomb of chisme you’ve ever heard.

between Alan Wake II and finally picking up Death Stranding it’s been one hell of a year for games that make me go “what da fuck” every 30 minutes.

does anyone know what’s for dinner? has anyone in the history of dinner ever known what’s for dinner?

felt like Sam Porter Bridges the way i was braking over every pothole and bump in the road while riding home with eggs in my bike basket. 😅