pepsi with the polar bears in the coldplay camera was CRAZYYYYYYYY #pepsi

i’m so glad #RHOP is back! i love seeing housewives who enjoy EATING FOOD!!!!

SEASON 8 #RHONY IS BLOWING MY FUCKING MIND.

HARRY DUBIN SAID LUANN IS A SQUIRTER. #RHONY

TIPSY GIRL!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! OH MY GOD I LOVE #RHONY SO MUCH.

And I would never want to get between Ted and a trip to Cancun when there’s an emergency in Texas

d y i n g. 😂 🤣

SMOKEY EYE, UP DO, GSTAAD!!!! #RHONY

Aviva’s NASTY ASS DAD ALWAYS PISSING ME THE F OFF. #RHONY

HOLLA!!!!!

she really threw it all away for some k child dressed like a fkn PIRATE!!?!!?!?! #RHONY

Oh. The original OC housewife is back…Slade Smiley #rhoc

if i was pouring my heart out to someone and they hit me with “want a hug” bruh. #loveislandusa

UNPOPULAR OPINION - I LOVE MY FUCKED UP MELATONIN DREAMS. i love them.

everyone’s group chat IRL. #LoveIslandUSA

my breakfast today was absolute garbage. eggs were under bacon was burned. i guess we really can’t have it all. 😔

love seeing all the newly divorced baddies on my feed thirst trapping again. the world is healing

okay- i know i made a post about Kelly being absolutely bonkers, but i’m on season 4 now, and i get it. i get her. and, tbh. she’s right. #RHONY

UNFORTUNATELY KELLY ATE BETHENNY UP WITH THIS ONE. she really fucking did. #RHONY

hot dog for dinner you little mother fuckers

the way i NEED my bf to smell my asparagus pee because he doesn’t get affected. it’s ungodly. it’s foul. it’s rotting garbage on a NYC street

OKAY, KELLY IS FUCKING BONKERS RIGHT?! yes, Ramona got the crazy eyes, and she doesn’t know when to shut up, but i’m midway through season 2 and ummm there’s something off about Kelly. she’s CUCKOO BANANAS, right? #RHONY

🌵🏜️🍻 Janet while Michelle openly weeps at Dave & Busters #TheValley

took a break from my housewives journey cause RHOP was just too good. now i need advice my OOMFS which franchise should i start next?!? RHONY/RHONJ/RHOM

HAPPY TAX DAY!!!!

nightmare blunt rotation

this morning i regretted bleaching my hair, felt hideous, screamed in my car on the drive to work aaaaaaaaaand i started my period. 🙂 🥲 😩

shirley temple at the bar so good i’m grunting

this season of #RHOBH has taught me that you CANNOT MAKE ME CARE ABOUT DORIT. you just CAN’T. what a waste.

i drank the bog and now my guts are going crazy.

i’ve spent my entire coffee buzz talking shit with the gals instead of doing my taxes like i said i would.

pets taking on their owners characteristics is so real, cause sweet pea is a clingy idiot who needs constant attention AND her guts are always squelching.

i hate my home office so much. i hate that it’s not my couch. i hate that my tv isn’t a computer. i hate working.

i am so pissed off at my boyfriend because of a dream. I COULD SPIT

[franz ferdinand] EAT ME OUT.

my piss smelling like a freshly brewed pot of coffee rn. i’m so jacked off on caffeine

YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO CALL OFF WORK FOR BEING SLEEPY

the grow out after bleaching my hair wasn’t doing me any favors, but i accidentally gave myself a mullet last night and i AM FEELING MYSELF. this mullet has made me invincible.

bsky oomfs i finished #RHOP tonight. wow, what a glorious 9 season run. these women really brought it. i’m sad it’s over. i’m truly going to miss watching housewives who actually enjoy eating food.

WHY ARE ALL TABLES SO SHORT THESE DAYS. i do not like bending over to eat. i have become a bitch who holds their plate while eating and i can’t help but think about how much shit i talked about Katy Perry when she ate at my job. sorry, girl.

my sweet, old baby girl. blending in.

this has been happening blocks from my home. an assault happened on my street a few days ago. stay safe out there, Logan Square.

just ate so much shredded mozzarella cheese and now it’s gonna be everyone’s problem.

NOT THE PARVATI BEDAZZLED HEADBAND. girl. #TheTraitorsUS

an angel. #TheTraitorsUS

HOW DO SEVERED PEOPLE WITH CATS COME TO WORK AND NOT KNOW?!? YOU CANT ESCAPE CAT HAIR. SOMETIMES THAT SHIT IS IN YOUR EYE.

ALEXA PLAY HITS FROM THE BONG

wearing a super cropped top and no bra at work. if you see my tiddies it just means you ain’t doing your job.

how it feels speaking to any my coworkers lately:

WHOEVER SET THE TOASTER TO 2, YOUR MOMS A HO.