cant get my glasses clean no matter what i doooo ughhhhh

id kill for a sandwich rn

natie selfcest plushies …. (+ her cuteness)

i would rather throw up in my own hand than give bsky access to my contacts list

my job means everyone thinks i’m their friend and that i owe them my time and body

i hate that blocking someone without saying anything is considered mean if you’ve spoken at all. people disappear without warning in person all the time. i literally disappeared out of everyone’s lives as a teenager and nobody got mad at me. why do i owe you an explanation for this

if there are a million different realities, i have slept with your wife in every one of them

the natural world is fucking crazy

ppl who get a superiority complex about which video games they play seriously need to take a step back

zit in my nose. suidice.

hungry .. but i’m trapped under a sleeping lady …

the blood is just going to keep raining, yeah

nobody can sigh as dramatically as me

u have to read all of my posts in this thing’s voice or they’re not accurate

Early Morning

bricks bricks briskc

okay

i have the nicest roommate ever .. 🐴

[looking up at u from a puddle of bile, face puffy from crying] no actually i’m fine i just tried to drink water while i was already crying and choked and vomited on myself and started crying harder but as u can see from this post i actually have really good luck and everything goes fine for me

my awesome and fortunate luck. everything goes well for me always.

pinkerton? more like stinkerton

No fortune inside my fortune cookie. probably I will die soon.

i get why tay zonday did that while recording chocolate rain. what else are u supposed to do? gasp into the mic?

to be clear: i am fat bitches

me: idk i don’t wanna say i have curly hair it feels like stolen valor also me:

“empty lighters” are a capitalist lie to make u buy more lighters. just shake it again.

i think i phrased that last post bad but i have a point abt “top surgery” being synonymous with “breast removal” when it realistically can and should be used to refer to literally any breast-augmenting procedure, wether that be implant or reduction

tbh id rlly like to stop seeing transmasc art wiht those “surgeon doesnt jnow how to do stitches” scars

she said i’m like a wow-wow-wubzy background character

its goes without saying that i am hopelessly devoted to pluri (plural yuri) ((girls kissing their headmates))

The snow is already pretty deep.

bought new weed and it reeks like bad parmesan . i have ten grams of it

being mean to her for fun and profit

i would apologize for allergyposting so much but it’s beyond justified. i don’t even sleep for more than 5 hours anymore because i wake up to sneeze. lmfao.

crazy to me that some people’s bodies don’t fucking hate them

it would be so cool if i could breathe or go longer than 5 hours without a sneezing fit. that would be really cool.

oh u thought u could use ur respiratory system for breathing off the bat? WRONG. no breathing normally until youve taken one pill, put a strip over ur already raw nose, and done at least 30 jumping jacks. even then you only get 15 minutes of nose use MAXIMUM

nine days ago and i feel p much the same. should i just go to the doctor

New Build

And the answer you’ll find, if you’re COMPLETELY HONEST with yourself, is that it was never about their need to feel “good at something from the start,” but your own ego’s need to crush someone else in order to establish yourself as dominant in something, damn the effect it has on anything else.

manually downloading every episode of a show i’m never gonna watch on my own time just because i might be able to make a joke with it

love your system friend for all the parts but also the whole person they all add up to

rage rage rage rage rage rage rage

start breaking shit

she said i leave notes to myself like i’m talking to jarvis

i MUST be using gravbongs wrong bc wdym “it wastes less smoke” ??? every time i use one or see someone else use one, more than half of the hit does not make it in their mouth. what?

ENOUGH

i am going to start sucking on rebar