Luckily I screenshot lots of tweets so if you think you're safe from being qt'ed for old stuff think again

Am I going to get put on a watchlist for this

fucking finally

[speaking to a bug] yknow i happen to be somewhat of an insect myself

I met a giant tall woman last night in the bar bathroom wearing a shirt she made herself that said "eat pussy it's vegan"

Smoking that shit that made ber duck

I know what professors do over the summer

OOOUH anxious I have to go volunteer which means Uber but do I take my backpack bc I have a study session immediately after my shift but idk if there's anywhere for me to keep it!!!

I get a notification that donkey Kong is following me and I log right back on it's very easy

This image is so me when I have a really big boba straw and my friend needs to sit down for a minute

me and my mutatls 💖

I have 3 bluesky invites but no idea what to do with them hmmmmm

💀

click on the cat ╱|、 (˚ˎ 。7 |、˜〵 じしˍ,)ノ

rt for incredible regenerative power

Fuck it, creature Friday

*twirls hair* @irs.bsky.social hey how much do I have to avoid paying my taxes before you come after me

Would you still love me if I chewed on this parmesan brick for dinner🥺

Worst part about being on bluesky is you can't say @twittersupport execute this harlot, you have to ping jay herself to execute the harlot

on the phone with the doctor after breaking my leg, trying to resist the sugar cubes my horse girl wife has in her hand as she tries to lure me behind the barn

I NEED TO GET WORSE

I have discovered Content aware image resizing friends and foes and Romans give me images to squarsh

I have no idea how much is in this....

The grocery store boy has apparently been checking me out for weeks and everyone else noticed except me 💖

time for a Thursday night hot chodka. round out my uncle arc

SPIKE TRAP AGAIN ONLY THIS TIME IT'S FALLING ON THE POST BELOW VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

⢠⡏⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⠃⠀⠀⠀⢿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣼⠃⠀⠘⢧⠀⠀ ⢸⡆⠀⠀⠀⠸⡆⠀⠀ ⣸⠃⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⠀ ⠈⣇⠀⠀⠀ ⣧⠀ ⠀⡏⠀⢦⠀⠀⠀⠸⡆ ⠀⢹⡀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀ ⢸⠇⠀⠘⢧⡀⠀⣸⠃ ⠀⠀⢳⠀⠀⠀⢸⡆ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⣼⠙⠋⠁⠀

I just saw boobs that's crazy

if you have a skinny boyfriend you should join my phalanx we need more spears

one hundred followers... 156 more until we can have a good phalanx

Hey do you remember when I said I shouldn't be allowed to have access to ai because i would give it mommy issues on purpose

If you meet the berduck on the timeline kill him

This is me literally for real

😫😫😫

I like lying

god grant me the strength to go to class tomorrow and the will to pay attention

^^^^^^^^^^^^^ SPIKE TRAP for the post above repost to booby trap more posts

I love drawing this guy I put him everywhere

A lot of the time I forget to take my ADHD meds for a couple weeks and then I go back to work and need them and rediscover the Super Secret Special Hack to losing your mind and 7 lbs over the course of a single weekend

please help me find my Twitter mutuals

I'm king of the work whiteboard