My friend after I told them Leon Kennedy is wearing an eyepatch in the Resident Evil 9 trailer

Please...my bearded dragon...what's happening

Watched Weapons, in which a group of schoolkids Naruto run outside in the middle of the night and vanish. It's wackadoodle in a very fun way. 4 cans of chicken noodle soup out of 5.

(Mild spoilers for Resident Evil Village) Got some good playtime over the last few days. - Beat the dollhouse (scariest RE area ever IMO) - Killed Moreau - Almost shit myself a few times - Got the Magnum 🤘 - Heading off to meet Heisenberg (not THAT one), who promises to be a right asshole

I'm so sorry to hear Dave Ball died. I love 80s new wave and Soft Cell were among the best. I'll play Say Hello, Wave Goodbye tonight in his honor. Rest sweet, Dave. 💜

Thanks to the thunderstorm that woke me from a dream about MANNY JACINTO stupid dumb weather

(CW: gross) I'm still working my way through The Exorcist and I wasn't expecting a book published in 1971 to have a description of priests fashioning fake vaginas out of poop and, uh, enjoying them

Bold of 🧊 to advertise during South Park, of all shows

Soy Division 😂

Someone made fun of the way I eat ice cream literally decades ago and I've been self conscious about it ever since so fuck you Amy

Do the king and his butler have something going on or

Oh godDAMN it

1/? Today I went to the Santa Fe Bug and Reptile Museum, which is located in our bustling outlet mall! Descriptions in alt text.

@mgcoco.bsky.social I told him to say hi to you

Okay, time to give this a try!

Got my hair cut and my stylist had to pause halfway through to kick out a guy in the waiting area who was watching porn at TOP VOLUME on his phone

🧵 A quick recap of some of the stuff I watched/played/read over the last few days: - Mission Impossible: Final Reckoning: Not as good as the last several installments, but still had some killer action sequences. Rounding up to 4/5.

The booger eating kid I saw at Walmart the other day was more mature than this www.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/co...

ME: WebMD, why does my eye keep twitching? WEBMD: This can be caused by either fatigue or imminent death

1/2 Started Resident Evil Village yesterday and got about 4 hours into it. Excellent vibes, beautiful graphics, nice and tense. I miss having a familiar protagonist (I didn't play RE7 due to first person, so although I did watch a recap of 7 I don't really "know" Ethan) but that's not a huge deal.

G: Why is our YouTube recommendation feed suddenly clogged with Austin Butler videos? ME: 😙🎵

Uh this got me feeling some kind of way (Not explicit but labeling just in case)

1/2 Excellent (gaming) news! Capcom released a patch for Resident Evil Village that allows you to play in third person. It's apparently a little clunky, but I played games in the late 90s, I am well versed in clunky. I'll have to watch a recap on RE7 (no 3rd person for that one) but that's fine!

I've spent all night annotating music videos with the sound off (as required), so my cheap thrill has been playing the Misfits and Mr. Bungle and watching kpop idols dancing to songs like Devil's Whorehouse and Squeeze Me Macaroni

The preponderance of open dishwasher deaths on this list validates my decision to always yell "Garden State!" if I leave ours open for more than a second en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of...

Cam Skattebo is Kyle Brandt's Blake Bortles

MLB players either look like 70s era porn stars or vikings

@pnumechomppsky.bsky.social Did you ever get into the Suburbs? youtu.be/NvcMkvYJuQc?...

Watched The Life of Chuck, which---despite being directed by Mike Flanagan and based on a short story by Stephen King---isn't horror but a life-affirming and bittersweet tale. Don't watch it with someone you don't want to sob in front of. 4 out of 5.

I'm very much like a cat in how I feel about people 80%: Okay I guess 10%: HISSSSS ARCHED BACK 9%: Ride or die 1%: I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU

In an alternate universe I am a princess who.wears this every day and swans around my castle drinking Cristal and being followed by my small army of cats

Bought a new bottle of conditioner from a brand I hadn't tried before and it smells EXACTLY like opening a new box of Tampax. This is not the Proustian association I wanted

Mini reviews: - Presence: A family moves into a house haunted by a presence; more sad than scary. I liked it much more after reading a Reddit theory afterwards, kicking it up to 3.5 out of 5.

I was just thinking that one of the weirdest things about being famous must be randos constantly masturbating to you www.queerty.com/man-buys-a-l...

My Crumbl better get this cause 🤤

Why does Keanu have a Door Dash delivery bag though? How sure are they that this wasn't a random DD guy? Much to think about

Our incredibly generous and awesome friend C sent us SIXTEEN BAGS of the absolute best potato chips G and I have ever eaten! Momo is intrigued but he ain't eating any of these beauties. (Or ANY chips, obviously)

I regret to inform you all that I'm sick ...with KITTEN FEVER

Watched Locked, a tense and fun movie in which a petty thief (Bill Skarsgard) gets trapped in a smart car modified by its owner (Anthony Hopkins) to have some decidedly illegal features. 3.5 bottles of "oh god is he really going to drink th---UGH!" out of 5.

GYNECOLOGIST: What brings you in today? ME:

One of the best things about my work is being able to leap up and twerk when Spotify starts bumping the Beastie Boys

ME: I'm cracking down on unnecessary purchases! 😤 ALSO ME: This book glows in the dark 😍

ME: Bugs Bunny occasionally dresses in drag to confound his rival that I think he's secretly in love with...he's the Majima of Looney Toons! Holy shit! MY HAIRSTYLIST: W-what?

1/2 Fellow cat people! Do you have a good litter recommendation? We had one we loved but it caused a beetle infestation because it was made of corn so we had to get rid of it. We have litter mats but walking around Momo's room is like walking thru a fucking desert. It CRUNCHES.

1/3 Mini reviews of my weekend watches: - Jurassic World: Rebirth: Fun action, but the imperiled family subplot was unnecessary. Also, did anybody recognize the anime on the older sister's shirt because it is DRIVING ME NUTS. 3/5

For work today I had to webchat with four different people and guess their age (and vice versa) from the conversation and someone guessed that I'm 26* and may the good lord protect their sweet heart * FULL DISCLOSURE we couldn't see each other, still felt good tho

How I feel after doing the bare minimum

(Unrelated to anyone here, I'm not vaguebooking) Friendly reminder that just because you had a shit childhood it doesn't excuse being an asshole. It wasn't your fault but it IS your responsibility to not pass pain on to others. Fix your heart or fuck off.