do u think the new white house ballroom floor will be like a diarrhea waterbed but maybe have like a straw in the corner so the president can have a lil sip now & then when he's sad about how much we all hate him

i can't wait to tell my psychiatrist that i finally started waking up in the morning, staying awake all day, and sleeping through the night but haven't started exercising yet lmao

i feel like as a country we shoulda been able to vote on the destruction of the white house but i guess that was also just the 2024 election and y'all fucked up big time

if the jaw doctor tells me to lose weight i swear to god i'm putting rocks in my pockets and walking into the puget sound the end

cooking up dinner for the president (diarrhea)

diarrhea check: did the president eat enough diarrhea today? handstanding over the toilet like a diarrhea kegstand

imagine forming your opinions of games off a streamer who says every game is dogshit 🙄

a human size one of those heated rocks for lizards would fix me

i'm so tired of having a uterus and a vagina and a butthole just cut me in half already

"who wrote 'the moon rules number one' on my car with a key"

OH i remember what i was gonna say i bet a man invented pads with wings bc they're the fucking worst

did the president eat enough diarrhea today? maybe he should hook himself up to one of those fois gras feeding tube machines but with diarrhea

you don't realize how much you use a body part until it's in constant pain

my cuticles aren't gonna survive to the end of the year

i came here to say something and i forgot ):<

being flattened by a steam roller and baked in a pizza oven might fix me

also i guess we're not gonna find out what happens when i stop taking wellbutrin for more than 2 days bc walgreens decided to fill the rx but if nothing happened in the past 2 days is it even working i have no idea

could really go for a thanksgiving sandwich

i don't like fruit in my cottage cheese so i guess i'll just keep putting fruit in my cottage cheese

nobody gonna say anything about the american flag on the ground while those 3 cops are unnecessarily restraining the lady in the penis costume? like one of them coulda picked it up stupid fucking useless cops

brb sending all my taco bell diarrhea to the king for his nightly feeding

all my homies hate the president of the united states

The president needs your help! He's collecting diarrhea for his plane. He has a plane that's 99% toilet with other people's diarrhea in it and he wears a little crown when he drives it around. Brave patriots please send your loose stool to your favorite diarrhea president for his diarrhea plane.

i have to keep reminding myself if they wanted to they would however they continually don't so they don't want to & that's a them thing

streamers enabling a twitch function in a game & then getting mad when chat picks bad & dumb options lmao owned

now just waiting for the resignation letter 💅

shit's good yo (there's a demo) store.steampowered.com/app/3631290/...

looks like we're about to find out what happens when i stop taking wellbutrin

eating enough peanut m&m's to immediately negate going to the dentist yesterday

it really hurts my feelings when the random guy in ball x pit doesn't pick the fusion i don't have yet buddy we're doing this for all of us

my NEIGHbors are horses lmao get it ah ha ha

it's very funny to me (aka not very funny) how people that claim to be sooo patriotic have no idea how to properly treat the american flag but since most of them can't read i guess why would they

whoever is using the tinnitus flavored leaf blower fuck you

my favorite thing to do in any game is taking damage immediately after healing 🙃

the wkuk twitch channel is my asmr

my dad texts about someone from his wife's family that i've never met having cancer & then no response when i tell him my husband's in remission don't wonder why i never talk to you man ffs

i hope everyone that voted for this stupid administration is having the terrible day they deserve

tried watching this big streamer that all the streamers i watch get their games from & he was so fucking boring

there's a pokemon that looks like a key ring lmao get jangled

i can see why peanut butter & jelly m&m's were in the clearance section :s

oh yeah the dentist said i probably have tmj (too much jaw) sigh

as a kid i always thought this was so fucking weird and i hated it (but the right is against indoctrination? okaaay?) youtu.be/aSPJwlzl8eo?...

Was it America First or Argentina First? Somehow there’s $40 billion for Argentina.

this is like top tier writing youtu.be/xI6byCqY-2Y?...

i like when peanut m&m's are conjoined twins big

i stg battlefield & cod are the same fucking game

filling out this medical intake form for the dentist "describe patient's physical health" "i'm fine"

not everything has to be made into a lego set ffs

so tired of existing i just don't wanna do it anymore