Just bought my team a load of doughnuts to take in today. Types are in the alt text. Have I turned into Dexter?!

Very important research: Has anyone ever managed to peel open a packet of bacon at the "peel here" corner, or does the whole thing come away from the outer plastic like it does for me?

I went outside today and took a selfie to prove it.

I'm obviously giving off some strange energy today... Random man behind me at checkout: "Do you play fitba?" Me: "No no. Nobody needs to see me do that" RMBMAC: "Have you been in the jail?" Wife/girlfriend tells him to shut up Guy serving me bursts out laughing

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How early is too early to go to bed?

Um... I just went to look for my work ID for tomorrow and not only was it in the first place I looked, but that place is the place it *should* be, and - more than that - I put it there.

Our Scottish visitors in Providence (for the World Cup) have been so charming and so lively that I had to write a little something into the third Neon Meridian novel for 'em. The future is dark, but Scotland is doing *fine* in that universe.

I totally get that they're localising it for me the UK, but my phone calling it "aeroplane mode" instead of "airplane mode" just feels so wrong.

It seems that my new line manager is from the same village as my ex from many years ago. And knows him. This is the one and only ex I genuinely despise. All good though - she made a face like she'd just stood in shit when his name came up so we're going to get along just fine.

Interview, decision, acceptance and paperwork have all happened while my existing boss is on leave. And now my actual start date too; I'm going to be gone before they are back. Oops! Things do not tend to happen that quickly in the public sector. Ever. I am very amused.

It's been a low few months after dropping a third of my salary going back to old job (after 6 years). Had interview on Friday for a temp internal job and didn't think I'd done particularly well - although I was just happy that I didn't freeze and got through it ok. Turns out I went and got it!

Just collected a jab saw at a DIY store and the guy asked if I had proof of age as a joke. I thought they only did that joke in stores once you looked completely withered and decayed. Unrelated... I'm off to buy retinol.

Yeah, you might all be having a blast at Bear Bash, but have you ever tried to revive an ancient, green-crusted and oxidised, weather-beaten back door handle instead?

Is it normal to get excited after booking a professional oven clean, or am I just old?

Testing and restock day! Now with added doxy and second gonorrhoea vaccine. Still the best way to get a free carrier bag in Scotland.

I've just renewed my car insurance and... I got the best price and cover from Saga! I'm absolutely horrified. Send flowers

It’s competition time! 🖤 Follow and Repost for a chance to win!! (competition description in alt text) good luck! 🤩🤞

After some reflection over the past couple of years, I have realised that I'm Aro. AroAllo rather than AroAce - in case anyone cares 👀 Does one come out as Aro? If so then I guess this is the coming out. Also, I don't like the flag. It's far too bright and cheery for me. That is all.

trying to remedy slow january sales… 😬

Everyone all settled in back to work ok? Good stuff - time for me to take leave until the 19th.

we’ve had a restock of our Hi Vis material, and our UV neon colours are now available! grab them while you can, we’ve got very limited stock and they don’t stay in for long! 🏃‍♂️💨

Well how was I supposed to know there's a hidden, extra filter on my tumble dryer that I'm supposed to have been cleaning every month for the last 3 years? Yes, that IS probably why it keeps stopping early, but I just came close to dying from a purple floof avalanche on Christmas Eve. Unacceptable

You've been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show/ movie you watched are trying to rescue you. Who's coming to save you? You know, I think I'm going to be ok; those are some foolish kidnappers

Yeah, if your *entire* account is quote-posting other people's photos with a couple of words to farm likes then that's a detach and block from me

Hrrrrm. Called psych yesterday because I hadn't received a rescheduled appointment after cancelling due to covid in August and I was worried I'd missed a letter. Was told I hadn't missed anything, I didn't have an appointment yet, and a letter would be sent out when one was available....

The #1 movie when you were 10 years old is how your 2026 is going to go (I've no idea if this is good or bad. I've tried to watch these films a few times and just didn't get the appeal and gave up, so please interpret for me)

Wow, they did a one-day turnaround after I handed the kit in. They must be rattling through them. Officially free to be slut if I have time over Christmas 😆

British Quakers are refusing room bookings from terfs as policy. If you were waiting for an org to stand up for LGBTQIA+ rights, and unflinchingly withstand bullying and lawfare, here you go, friends. Good luck to the raging bigots, they'll get nowhere with threats.

Last night's viewing. I can't remember seeing the original, so I'll watch it tonight, but this was a lot of fun. It will be the family Christmas viewing next year. 8 blood-soaked Santa hat pom-poms out of 10. Minimal spoiler: Axe meets Nazis! What's not to love?

This is the maximum effort I'm willing to go to for this festive malarkey.

Ok, need tips on how to get enough blood out my finger to fill a tube using one of those lancet things. The 6-monthly clinic visits are great, but the in-between self-testing is a nightmare. I seem to seal shut immediately (behave)

Braved going into town at lunchtime. There are PEOPLE! And dithery ones at that

Just been for my pre-Christmas intensive teeth scrub, and yes... I'm still the only one that's ever asked for this. She prompts every time to see if I want it done because of that first time

Well I wasn't expecting to have to get 3 new tyres before Christmas (and more importantly pay day) but here we are. It's done now. And of course I needed to fill the tank as well 😢

Nice

This is the squeakiest train I've ever been on. I should have brought some WD40

It had shite pressure and it was barely warm, but I have successfully washed away all my sins. I am now innocent again 😇

And I'm tumbling to bed for the final time on this wee break. Nobody needs to see the state I'm in. Good night Blackpool ♥️

There are a lot of tightly permed mullets in Blackpool and I'm quite unsure tbh

Fuck right off 🤬

Lights!

Suffering slightly this morning

Drunken hello from Blackpool 👋

Super helpful notification there... Yes, I'm going to make you do time calculations. Or you can look at the alt text I guess.

I thought I'd try a #MCM but then forgot, so you've got a grumpy face and messy beard as I'm sat in a car park. I'll do better next time (probably still with grumpy face to be fair)

I thought the franchise fell off with Casablanca 2: Electric Boogaloo, but Rick's Revenge and Casablanca 4 the Streets were watchable. Like Inspector Renault says, "It's about FAMILY, yo!"

Oh... My first "save". I assumed it was visible to the poster who had saved the post but no! I'm flattered. I'm also going to save a lot more posts now that I know it's anonymous 😆

Stupid "festive fair" in town has Whamageddoned me. This is why I don't go out