loading . . . Searching For Stories **Whether it’s a jaunt to a foreign land or a trip to the corner store, getting out of the house increases your chances of finding a good story**
###### _Originally published in April 2022_
I am an introvert.
This is pretty common for a writer, but it’s not a given. Introversion is often mistaken for being shy or even quiet, and while in the big Venn diagram of life, the crossover between shy people and introverts is pretty significant, it’s not total. I am in no way shy; I’m often not even quiet, but I do tend to be fairly understated and private while in public.
I don’t like confrontation, hate small talk, and avoid crowds whenever possible. I prefer to keep to myself and mind my own business. In effect, I like to control my environment as much as possible, so I don’t tend to show up to places without a plan.
On the other hand, I do enjoy traveling, often alone, and am happy to wander and explore, and see what happens. If I don’t have to worry about making anyone else happy, then wandering without an agenda or destination can be quite enjoyable.
**Getting Out**
As a writer, there is a real danger to being introverted, in that you have to guard against the inclination to minimize your experiences to only those you feel comfortable inflicting upon yourself. As a general rule, I don’t go anywhere or do anything I don’t absolutely have to, or want to, which means that more often than not, I tend to stay put.
I’m fine staying home and finding endless opportunities to amuse myself without ever getting into my car and going anywhere. I can travel the world without leaving my chair—speaking with people all over the world, hearing stories of far-off places and exotic locales. The world is my oyster, and I don’t even have to leave the safety of my nest.
But here’s the rub. I am rarely surprised by what I find when I don’t leave my comfort zone, and while surprises are not always welcome, if you don’t shake things up periodically, you will grow stagnant and stale.
**Armchair Ambivalence**
I turn down more things than I do, by a factor of ten. That even extends to errands, walks, grandchildren’s sporting events, and recitals. I have to force myself to exercise, so I don’t really see what the big deal is with going for a walk. I fully understand the benefits, both physical and mental, but if you ask me if I want to go for a walk, the answer is no. I do not.
I do not want to watch amateur sports where no one understands what they’re doing. Most of the parents are barely watching anyway. It’s more like a social event with the other parents. I did this already. With my own kids. Why do I have to be subjected to it all over again? It’s cute for about five minutes—then you’re waiting for it to end. It’s an outing for the sake of an outing that no one really wanted to do. It’s an errand with very little purpose, and I do not like useless errands or busywork. I’m not looking for ways to fill my day. I have plenty of my own ideas on how to do that.
All of this leads to my inclination to let the days slip by, with few outside experiences, as I live vicariously through the exploits of others, which I view on my iPad from the comfort of my armchair. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a full life of rich experiences. They’re just not my experiences. If you want your own experiences, you have to get the fuck out of your chair and go out into the world.
**Searching For Stories**
Once you put your mind to it, every outing, from a trip to the dentist to the home goods store, the little league game, and the walk in the woods, is all grist for the old story mill. If your mind is open and you’re paying attention, then the world is your oyster when it comes to things to write about. You can hate or love it all. It really doesn’t matter. Either one works.
This doesn’t always become my motivation for going out, but it gives me an added incentive to do so if I’ve already been invited or know I need to do something. Carry a notebook and jot down your thoughts, snippets of conversation, strange signs or advertisements, unique fashion choices, cultural faux pas, or pet peeves.
I usually begin with whatever haunts or vexes me, but sometimes, I’ll remember something that gives me joy. As long as I’m open to being curious and being in the moment, rather than distracting myself with my own thoughts or the contents of my phone, I’ll always come away with a story idea.
**Organizing Chaos**
The way my particular brain works, which is decidedly not always a benefit, is that one thought leads to another thought, which jumps to a completely different line of thinking that reminds me of a quote that reminds me of a movie, which ties back to the original observation. In a conversation with me, this is unbearable, I imagine, since I sound like a crazy person. But in the context of writing, I can edit and massage the flow so that it makes sense, and I can guide you through my otherwise complex thinking on matters of simple concern.
This is what writing does for me. It allows me to use all the useless bits of arcane pop culture references floating around in my brain to explain the world around me, as I see it. This is far superior to my subjecting my fellow human beings to my rants in person. It’s like raw manure, which, if distributed without carefully processing first, will simply kill the plant rather than help it grow. It is too potent and not conducive to providing anything useful.
**Into The Frying Pan**
I’m leaving in a week to travel to an island in the Caribbean that I’ve never been to before. We are renting a condo and a car, and will be spending two weeks, which is a different sort of getaway than your average American one-week holiday. The one-week vacation is really two days of travel, two days to decompress, two days of vacation, and one day of stress prepping to return home. With two weeks, one can settle in a bit. I’ve rarely allowed myself to imagine what a month would be like. I fear it would be almost too rich.
I used to travel quite a bit for work. Over 100k miles a year, just flying around North America alone. Then throw in a few trips to Europe, plus at least one vacation to Mexico or the Caribbean. I was a platinum-level, five-star, bona fide, professional traveler.
But in the years since the financial crisis, and then the pandemic, I’ve barely left the house, let alone been on a plane. I’ve lost all status with airlines, hotels, and even Uber, and to be honest, I’ve lost my confidence in knowing exactly what to pack. I used to be able to pack the night before with confidence. Now I’m feeling a little panicked and unsure of myself.
**Small Adventures**
For me, the trick is to think of every outing, no matter how big or small, as an adventure. Not all adventures are epic, but they can sometimes conceal big discoveries. No one is ever displeased by everything going according to plan, but it doesn’t make for much of a story. You don’t have to resort to disaster porn to keep things lively. Everything doesn’t have to go wrong to make life interesting. But it does help if you don’t know how everything is going to turn out, which, if you already have a certain amount of anxiety about the unknown, you’re already halfway home.
What I’m trying to convince myself of is this. If I have no expectations for the trip, that I am not looking for the perfect, Instagrammable vacation imaginable, that I remain curious and enthusiastic, seeking out new experiences, and looking for things to write about, then it will all be worthwhile.
For me, I’ll add that a certain amount of sobriety is in order, because it’s easy to let the days fly by in an alcohol-induced haze, moving from beach to bar to bed. A little rest and relaxation are in order, and I also have no interest in constant motion, but a little moderation between reasonable activity and conscientious consumption seems wise.
Wish me luck.
stories Writing https://www.davidtoddmccarty.com/searching-for-stories/
