i hope jimmy kimmel is having a good day

having a septum piercing during cold season is not for the weak

man. i’m just trying to take my dog for a walk

butt chugging NyQuil is still ok

the cdc doesn’t want u to know that tylenol made my ass soooo big and fat and juicy. they said it’s too dangerous and that’s why they’re banning it

wait why is everyone talking about the rapture

i don’t go shopping at trader joes’s bc i’m scared i’ll get pregnant

damn bitch u live like this?????

damn that’s cwazy

bonsai is having big feelings about The Big Move (me too)

how the FUCK did i forget to buy packing tape????? ୧(๑•̀ᗝ•́)૭

cancel all your apps and look into 🏴‍☠️ing

god, your sluttiest warrior needs $250,000

Fun fact: A knight's armor is so strong and hard so the woman inside can be gentle and soft

throw up in a bush thursday

i may not be “good” at “things” but at least i bruise pretty :3

“if free speech applied only to ideas we like, we needn’t have bothered to write it into the constitution”

me: nobody’s ever beat my ass for talking this much shit and nobody’s ever gonna beat my ass for talking this much shit also me:

Just corrected my posture on the train and became the dominant commuter

mimikyurmom

you should be allowed to get civil war era surgery if you're bored and want it

yes

hlep

he sleeps on his tail 🥺

SCREAMIMG CRYING THROWING UP

breached containment yesterday

Dark souls 2 throne of want themed blowjob

the sluttiest thing a man can do is relax my nervous system

the dive bar i’m at keeps playing joyce manor :3

trinket maxxing

lol jk we went to gasworks #notamodel

he doesn’t even know we’re going to the beach later

absolutely losing my shit over this reddit post rn

Right winger gets murdered: he was the kindest, gentlest boy who ever lived Right winger ends up being the murderer: he was also the kindest, gentlest boy who ever lived

shoutout to whoever tagged “butt fart” on one of the buildings in my neighborhood. makes me giggle every time i see it

my favorite genre of pokemon is “i’m just a girl but i’ll fuck you up”

We are the daughters of the Etsy witches you couldn't burn

at this point my purse is just a vape graveyard that i carry with me everywhere i go

i’m gonna go into debt buying weed bc i have a crush on the person who works at the dispensary :/

engraving my vibrating bullet with transgender and antifacist ideologies

Witnesses Assumed Charlie Kirk Shooter Was Just Ordinary Gunman On School Campus

don’t care + didn’t ask + my thighs could force you into submission

Pokemon really oversold how many towns are connected by modestly maintained woodland paths rather than barely walkable vehicle roads

Being a shy person in your 20s is ass like wdym I'm still an anxious mess.

i’m not going to be lectured about political violence by people whose politics is violence

seemed fitting open.spotify.com/track/1VXPNx...

The right is microdosing 9/11 right now