Fucking hell this new Madonna single is a fucking BANGER

Greetings from me and my holographic Jordans

Pride weekend outfit sorted

The Gay 90s, Minneapolis, Summer 2004 Big Xs on my hands while I handed dollar bills to the queens at my first ever drag show

Tour De Northeast Minneapolis last night

It’s chewsday innit?

Guys it’s our first Pride without Charlie K*rk and I think that’s something worth celebrating

Wearing my power color on the first day of priDEMONth to much fanfare from my coworkers. Monday Bonus Fun: A British man in his 80s who was carrying an oxygen tank asked me “You’re a big guy David, how much do you weigh?” while ringing him up. It was very weird but also it didn’t bother me lmao

Legs and core yesterday, arms and chest today… pain tomorrow!

I’m not just a Guncle. I’m also a Funcle.

LEG DAYYYY. You know what they say, gotta be 3-something to be-something!

Okay, Brian

Oh goodie, another bear with an AI generated profile pic

Stumbled into some good lighting in my kitchen that made these new thiqddie muscles I have POP

My friends @ me after I’ve driven them somewhere

For the uninitiated… youtu.be/mYHZhaLsZI4?...

Hacks you are one of the best TV shows to ever exist, what am I gonna do without you

…maybe in blue? Blue? Blue?

2019, huh?

Fun with the zoom lens

Oh right I forgot to put this here

Pardon my thiccness

Anyway here’s my Essential Kylie playlist I made a few years ago open.spotify.com/playlist/61w...

My top 10 Kylie songs??? If you insist… -Tension -Whenever You Feel Like It -Heavenly Body -Automatic Love -CGYOOMH -Better Than Today -Look My Way -BTDYK -Almost A Lover And my #1 favorite: -Spinning Around

I had to throw on a jock so I could wear my 4” inseam Chubbies at work today

Who knew the gym would be very busy the morning of Memorial Day? I figured everyone would be sleeping or out of town! Too many people showed up, I cut out early! But not before I got a puhhhmp HOHHHYEAHHH

Is that… The Taco Bell Slut bag? Yeah, it is.

Tequila Red Bull, you’re my only friend

I know I’m fully insufferable on the internet but I’m giving you all permission to high five me in the face with a folding chair if I ever become a *height in bio* gay

Saturday Night Leg Night The Remix Pt. II feat. Baby’s First Ever Bulgarian Split Squats

Haven’t heard from him in a week lmao

I did something very David and made a playlist that is essentially how I would’ve arranged Kylie’s 2003 album “Body Language”, incorporating remixes and b-sides released during the album era… Apple Music edition: music.apple.com/us/playlist/...

I did something very David and made a playlist that is essentially how I would’ve arranged Kylie’s 2003 album “Body Language”, incorporating remixes and b-sides released during the album era… Spotify edition: open.spotify.com/playlist/7cV...

I unloaded a pallet of ~100 24 pk cases of spring water for a display today and it gave me a mini pump, so naturally I took pics

From La La La to Limited Series. 25 years on and she’s still my number one. The last time I lit my Kylie Candle was for the Infinite Disco livestream in 2020, so it seemed fitting to light it again while I watched her three part documentary tonight. What an amazing woman ❤️❤️❤️

Probably doesn’t look all that different from all the other ones but I FELT mega-pumped

Can’t believe Charlotte really came sideways at Wilbur like this

Pump so good I could barely undo the lock on my gym locker

Anyway here’s the pump from this morning

Having a very purple day

I mean I’ve been drinking less? Kind of? I was already a mega lightweight but a few drinks makes me useless the following day and I don’t love feeling that way…

I’m just so grateful I get to live in the same timeline as Sabrina Carpenter

My quads are still on fire from Saturday’s workout but I’m at the gym again… who the hell have I become?

I heard @descovyschild.slut.dog was rolling through town on an extended layover so I SNATCHED them up *quick* to show off the sights and sounds of my city, followed by dinner with @mowxla.bsky.social ❤️

File footage of @mowxla.bsky.social, @descovyschild.slut.dog, and I uncovering our bald heads from their respective baseball hats at dinner tonight

My friends and me in Chicago last week

Feeling it tonight

Few things piss me off faster than people who reach over the glass and point at the ingredients while ordering at Chipotle