I don't get this whole "party starts at 7, lets turn up at 8" shit. Or, worse, "tell everyone 7 so they turn up at 8". Are people so lacking confidence in their ability to socialise in smaller numbers or just don't care to be in the presence of the hosts? I don't understand it, at all.

Uber: Yeah just tell him its £3.94 then jump it up to £8.27 when he puts the pin down Me: Get to fuck, I'd rather be late Narrator: He was indeed, very, very late.

I love that I'm telling people my party will be next to the gay village "so you can all stay that extra few minutes for me before going off to find your shags for the night" and not one single person has disputed what I said 😭

Alright, give it up for the Scottish, because they are NAILING this World Cup banter. "Don't ask how they know" for fuck's sake 😭😭😭

Maybe Trump should stick to music from tired, old racists like Kid Rock for his propaganda. Might be less embarrassing than having Ariana, Sabrina, Beyonce, Celine and ABBA publicly telling him to do one, for using theirs.

I have a stupidly chatty taxi driver

Pride is bad but a presidential fight cage/thunderdome (for diplomacy) is good 👍🏾

Tight shoulders flying crow let's goooooo

Trying to assign each country of the world cup to a drag queen based on relative success or popularity, just so my gays have something to relate to, is exhausting.

Depressed cos I achieved something today fully 99% of people I know couldn't do, and got 3 likes. Meanwhile knobber friend posts a topless and goes viral. Fucking firsty faggots. Let me stew on my feeling of superiority.

That's cool, the Weeknd, just end 2 blissful years of no stadium concerts with your shit and then end that with a fireworks display, when I'm trying to sleep.

I want to be an object of lust

FIFA couldnt tolerate politics. Other than racist politics banning a Somali referee from entering the US. Or the Iranian team having to stay in Mexico and fly in/out of the US immediately for their matches. Or forcing their conservative politics on Seattle during Pride. But no, no politics.

The outrage at arrests of brawlers and arsonists at these violent "protests" goes to show that these people don't want integration of POCs, or any such facade. They want absence or subservience. To attack with impunity. Because we wouldn't be talking about "concerned citizens" if I razed a building.

Is it even kink if you wear it to every night out, let alone sex? That's a uniform.

NBA is rigged! when Spurs had 29 point lead the game should have been immediately stopped and Spurs declared winner. Instead officials decides to play "4th quarter?" and Knicks "somehow" score enough baskets to win. Fraud!

BREAKING: Indigenous white people commit riot and arson. Incompetent indigenous white police fire water cannon. Indigenous white politicians who fucked up our economy discuss "legitimate concerns" in lying newspapers owned by indigenous white tax evaders. Immigrants somehow remain the problem.

America World Cupdate: 80% of hotels show huge amounts of empty rooms due to high ticket prices, inflated room costs, FIFA cancelling most corporate rooms and allowing Trump to move games at a moment's notice and America being *gesticulates wildly* all of that Couldn't happen to a better president

My PT added burpees to my program for this block, so now I must fire him.

It's time for the periodic Black Football Players are Heroes Until England Lose, The We Let Loose All The Racism phase of the UK.

Convincing a colleague that a fragrance we use in products will give him boobs and mood swings, because it contains estragole.

I'm no Susie Dent, but I think I can declare that today's Word of the Day is Pogrom.

Scousers are such psychopaths, always sending voice notes. Just send a fucking text.

This is what we in the biz call banana-ing and it is not good 😭 Still, adding height to the shoulder stand pressup.

And lo, he hath failed to sleep once more and, as one of supreme intellect, didst he conclude it was paramount to leave his abode at 5.30am to commit atrocities unto his body, with leg day before calisthenics.

My hopes of an early night dashed by rising stress levels, caused by a friend being such an utter cockwomble that it defies all reason and belief that one could be so stupid.

Spheal as Navi shouldn't have made me laugh so hard

Shame it took a decade to get from KH2 to KH3, because I lost all my hype along the way. Not even remotely interested. Imagine 16yo me spending 100+ hours on KH1. 18yo me spending 100+ hours on KH2. Then...

3 words: Ocarina. Of. Time.

Despair.

My manager, getting wind of my current situationship, decides to tell me it's her 26th anniversary tomorrow, and that I'll "be there soon" 💀 Brb, off to do the very gay thing of being instantly petrified of commitment and destroy something good.

Making Shakshuka for breakfast on a Monday morning is psychotic behaviour.

Romance

There are few things more humbling than being hit by your own green shell in Mariokart.

Out with the old, in with the 2

Can we just not with the "cursed cast" thing, please. People are allowed to pass away without it being a conspiracy.

Donated a hiking bag full of books to Oxfam. The look I gave the next person, who asked how much they could get for their donation items.

Drying off, dick swinging in the changing too, and my brain decides it's time for my periodic phase of "there's got to be more to life than spending hours every day in th gym so strangers in bars and online want to have sex with me"

The audacity of someone with a Geordie accent telling me to slow my speech pattern down, because they can't understand mine.

Chest is chest-ing

What happened to Lilnasx?

Ok y'all are bored of me, time for a break

To finish off a fucking zinger of a day, I got to the gym, had forgotten my tshirt in the rush earlier, had to go home first and now I'm at the gym, I really don't have the energy

Update. 1) They spent 2 days telling me Friday. 2) It ended up at the wrong delivery office on Wednesday, but that's OK, still said Friday delivery 3) today they've told me it's being delivered this afternoon. Of course, I'm at work So it'll be sent back, as requires a signature.

I got Germany on the World Cup Sweepstakes I am happy with thattttt

If the gold contacts have scratched and my Fitbit won't charge, can I fix it? Fucking Google have taken over and changed all the fitbit websites and apps this last week, so I can't find a solution there, yet.

Colleague: Who was the guy in Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch? Me: Mark Wahlberg C: Not him, New Kids on the Block? M: His brother, Donnie Wahlberg C: That's not it. He was in the film about living on a ring in space M: Elysium? Matt Damon C: No! TRANSFORMERS M: Back to Mark Wahlberg C: Oh

Said by everyone ever who isn't listening and is gonna do whatever they want anyway, however risky or stupid.

I'm excited to see a boy again tomorrow. That's disgusting. Who am I?!

*Police assault, rape, murder and cover up* Right wing press:... *Police found to categorically skew abuses towards brown people* Right wing press: Research is woke *Police fail a single white man* Right wing press: POLICE ARE ANTI-WHITE THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS THIS SHALL NOT STAND DEFUND RACIST POLICE