Regardless of whether or not I'm playing Paragon or Renegade, when I play Mass Effect, I play so that everyone on my crew makes it. No- not you, Ashley.

No, you're thinking of Kal-El, son of Jor-El and Lara Lor-Van. Different guy. I'm Kal-El, son of Myron-El and Ruthie-Zar. I do accounting and tax prep.

Pam Bondi right about now.

Regardless of what the Supreme Court says about its legality, conversion therapy is still evil, and anyone who advocates for it is evil.

Finally got a new computer, so now I can get back to the important things in life: getting drunk and playing Mass Effect.

English Chelsea fan This is your last game We are SPARTA FC

Q: What is the most difficult part of playing pickleball? A: Having to tell your family.

I'm sure armed and masked goons are going to improve what is already a pleasant and efficient airport experience.

Personally, I will never forgive Chuck Norris for telling Haley Joel Osment he had AIDS.

Poilievre appears on Joe Rogan podcast after accidentally polling too well with women

My gosh, Bob Dylan looked so young on his first album.

europeans when asked to help unblock the strait of hormuz

Someone should tell Trump that there is one absolutely guaranteed way to take control of the Strait of Hormuz. First, unify mainland Greece and the Western Aegean under Hellenized Macedonian rule by perfecting the phalanx as a tactical formation...

OZEMPIC WEGOVY MOUNJARO "Um...who are Generals in the Russian Civil War, Alex?"

I have very few truly controversial opinions, but one of them is that I should be able to taze people who listen to things on their phones out loud on public transit.

I just ate a really incredible piece of cheese, and it made me feel alive again.

In honor of the final season of Outlander, here is a surprisingly erotic song about Bonnie Prince Charlie. #outlander www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWD7...

SCTV IS ON PRIME! SCTV IS ON PRIME! THIS IS NOT A DRILL, Y'ALL!

Apparently, Pete Hegseth has a tattoo of the emblem of the Latin Kingdom of Jerusalem. Someone should probably remind him exactly what happened to the Latin Kingdom of Jerusalem.

TFW when you suspect your upstairs neighbor has an OnlyFans that involves them running different vacuum cleaners and other household appliances.

Oh, sure- now everybody's a fucking constitutional scholar.

Of course, probably the funniest thing about this is that Trump has pretty much guaranteed that Pahlavi will be assassinated the moment he steps on Iranian soil again.

You know who else started a disastrous war with Persia in order to prop up his failing regime? That's right- Emperor Valerian.

I love it when you're doing something that doesn't require a lot of thought, like washing the dishes, and your brain goes, "Well- as long as we're not busy, why don't we review every embarrassing thing you ever said or did in your life? Chapter 1: The Grade School Years..."

You can't rollerskate in a buffalo herd No, you can't rollerskate in a buffalo herd No, you can't rollerskate in a buffalo herd But you can be happy if you've a mind to

Poulet Marengo Impérial:

There's a saying that "Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times." Maybe we don't need strong men or weak men, then. Maybe what we we need is just normal men.

Okay, yes- it looks bad when your Board of Peace has Donald Trump and Bibi Netanyahu on it. But we should at least acknowledge some of the other members:

The Grand Old Duke of York He had 12 million quid He gave it to someone he didn't know For something he never did

If you are driving a mobility vehicle or device (motorized or not) in a bike lane, cool- that is where you should be. I might pass you when it's safe, but you absolutely have a right to use the lane. If I see a delivery robot in the bike lane, I'm kicking it the fuck over.

Well, I definitely have a cold. Current mood:

Good Lord, this show is amazing. Even the opening credits make me choke up a little.

Ever eat a heavy meal just slightly too fast and then get that feeling like you might be about to die?

I just got a new duvet and new pillows, and they are *amazing*. I am officially sleepmaxxing. I am fully restpilled.

So, I'm catching up on my Drag Race (I was nearly homeless last year, so I missed some shit), and I'm just at the Betsey Johnson design challenge. Gurl, we talk about queer sports but I am fucking locked in like it's Arsenal in the 2006 Champion's League final.

I was never a real Dawson's Creek watcher, but I loved the Beek as himself in one of the best comedies of the 'teems. You will be missed. #jamesvanderbeek #don'ttrusttheb

Liberal Americans right about now:

Hey, kids! Who's ready to go shopping at the MOST DISAPPOINTING STORE EVER?

ali baba and the 40 thieves Ali Baba and the 40 Thieves! Ali Baba and the 40 Thieves! ALI BABA AND THE 40 THIEVES! ALI BABA AND THE 40 THIEVES! ALI BABA AND THE 40 THIEVES! ALI BABA

"Ohara Bushi" (Apple Blossom Song) is one of the standards of Tsugaru-style shamisen playing from the northern tip of Aomori prefecture. It is somewhat more emphatic than southern shamisen styles, with a more forward vocal technique. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Asfc...

In the name of the greatest people that have ever trod this earth, I draw the line in the dust and toss the gauntlet before the feet of tyranny, and I say Butlerian Jihad now, Butlerian Jihad tomorrow, Butlerian Jihad forever!

Oh, damn- Journal With Witch is really, really good. But, also- me when I'm watching it:

We have now officially reached the time of year when Toronto begins to look like a regional capital in the Soviet Union circa 1978. I call it Soviet Torontostan. It usually lasts until around May 1st.

This dog definitely thinks she's better than me. You know what? She probably is.

Wow, the wind outside of my apartment is HOWLING right now. If the ghost of one of my exes turns up asking to be let in because they're cold, I'm going to pretend I'm not home.

This is who runs this account: