That's why Jax is not my favorite like he even called himself the funny one that shit cuts uncomfortably close

Please consider spreading this around. I really don't want to have to sell my dad's motorcycle he left me.

Started calming down hoping to catch a nap tonight/this morning and I suddenly realized something about a long gone toxic relationship that made me so angry I could feel my heartbeat speed up. I'm not sleeping at all tonight and I'll be at work for 12 hours and I was already deprived. GOD DAMNIT.

In some countries, little kids are taught what sex is as the standard so that they can know when they're being abused and be able to communicate it. Conservative "biological truth" people fight for "if she bled she can be wed" with her parents' permission, and making excuses for Trump and Epstein.

I just remembered something that made me squirm from preggophobia and found out it had to have happened in 2002. When I was 5 years old. Something that's a fetish now. So I guess I was set on this accursed path from the time I could start forming memories. That is incredibly fucking unfair, come on.

One of the reasons I post is that it helps me think through things, even though I know I could be journaling more instead. I'm going to get a strong coffee tomorrow morning. I think I can power through a double shift now that I have a plan.

I was doing kinda alright staying positive up until the holiday rush and I just want to know why. The new expanded store is fucking exhausting to traverse. I think I'm inconsolably upset about having my favorite time of year completely ruined, I can't get that back, nothing will make it better.

My sense of ego dissolved in psychosis, but there was a nugget of truth in it. Ever since then I've been a more sensitive and mindful person. If I don't start making an effort to be more positive, everyone around me is going to feel it and it'll become a doom spiral feedback loop. Fuck.

I want to live to travel across Africa one day. I've been at rock bottom for most of my working life but I think what I really need is the perspective that living many more years would bring. I think I feel crushed because I am so young and this is all I've known so far. Or at least I hope so.

This is socialism and it has the potential to save us

Every design job I can find is actually architecture through use of AutoCAD and I'm like fine, I mastered Maya in college, do I have to learn this horseshit now? Meanwhile the price for AutoCAD is like $1,000/yr, plus all your blood and skin.

Damnit I forgot to go to sleep early and it's a double shift. I'm so exhausted all the time. I feel like I need help with this somehow. I need help.

I signed up for more job rejection emails today so now I'm officially "trying" again

Last night I had a horrible nightmare that my soul escaped my body and I watched myself be raped by a monster that looked like a giant opossum. I don't know why the fuck my brain wanted me to see that, but I jerked off to something especially sadistic today. Sleeping next to the gas heater sucks.

I had to learn a couple years ago that most consider it weird that country folk bring buckets of fried chicken to funerals. I talked to someone from up north who was AGHAST to hear it. I almost always get hungry at funerals. Snacks won't cut it. I hope there's a falafel wrap bar at my funeral.

#TotK I hate Koltin. Stop fucking yelling. Christ's sake calm down. This is not endearing.

Maybe I'll find a decent job if I become fluent in Spanish. Every language I've learned started with lessons at schools and I have no idea how to start on my own.

I think someone from the top acknowledging the economic recession we're in may help mitigate the suicide rate, but that would also cause a panic on the stock market and they can't have that.

I think "Old Spice Swagger, scent of cedarwood antiperspirant and deodorant" makes me smell like I'm a smoker who hasn't smoked in a few hours

HONESTLY the only thing keeping me from becoming a chain smoker just to age myself and deepen my voice is because I don't want my clothes smelling like cigarettes. I like to have as classy of an appearance as I can manage.

I will never kill myself, and the only reason I hate saying that I won't, is because suicide feels like the only promise I can make to myself that doesn't rely on anyone else. For example, hiring me and giving me a better life is someone taking a chance on me. They have never and will never do it.

Allow me to be the apparent first to point out that supporting fashion designers is not mutually exclusive with socialism. Socialism actually respects artisans and craftsmen as a central tenet.

My feelings get hurt a lot because I look so young. Like, it hurt seeing how young the police were when they came to rescue me after I got locked in at work, and I knew I looked younger than them, I look like a teen, I have a job for a teen, was talked to like a teen...

I need to be more positive or something

I had to really think about how I was going to respond and I finally figured it out, was going to reply something just now and he's gone. Where did Fito go? Am I blocked or did he get suspended God fucking damnit

Being in Central Standard Time on New Year's always sucks ass. "Here's the live celebration, asshole. Everyone else has been partying for an hour already. Dickhead. Fuck you."

I always thought of concepts such as years, even just schedules and bedtimes, as arbitrary and silly. But recently I've learned that we kinda need these constructs in order to stay sane.

I am tired of being miserable, and I'm equally as tired of being a miserable person.

Aggravating when I talk about not finding work as an artist and they say "you know what you have to do 👀" referring to drawing furry porn. This myth that there's always work in it. Bitch that market is competitive and oversaturated too. Christ.

"Merc'd" is out. "Kirked" is in.

I'm back at the job that locked me in, and I'm so angry just to be here, my head hurts.

If someone pays me $120 to cancel two work shifts and clear up a whole day, I will write a full editorial with the appropriate nuance and caveats. Unless that happens, I'm not debating anyone. I would like society to prove to me that I'm more than a toilet scrubber and clothing sorter. Fuck you.

Tbh, I see a total dearth of moral clarity everywhere. The media shames anyone to the left of Hitler into being entirely valueless, but white nationalists are the subjects of countless sympathetic investigations. Just today, NPR put out a story about the youth refusing to date outside their values.

I honestly think the mainstream news media profits from us having zero principles whatsoever so that we just keep consuming the news so we're always making sure we get "both sides" for its own sake.

I think Joe Biden was one of our worst presidents because he slow-walked prosecuting Trump for Jan 6th solely for the optics of not seeming too partisan and extreme, which he was accused of anyway obviously. They don't give a shit. He refused to do the right thing for the optics.

I have no idea what it's like to have a mind that is equally indispensable and monetizable. Worst possible world for an artist to live in. I've never felt valuable in all my 29 years of life.

I was an autistic child who loved vegetables I would have thanked you for this

I feel like my soul is wanting to scream its throat raw. You people are too fucking nice to me. I don't know if I'd be nice to me at all. I am such a privileged overeducated dickhead

Dippin Dots were invented in Kentucky in 1988. I don't know how so many things came out of this state down to silly things like that.

They got busted for being a pyramid scheme after only a couple years in business, but God damnit if they aren't responsible for the comfiest damn shirt I own

The last time I ever had fun being high on weed I realized this and it was all downhill from there

I'd prefer to get laughs if anyone finds this relatable, but I get a lot of my porn from DeviantArt, I have fetishes because I'm autistic (that's a thing), but sometimes my DeviantArt homepage recommends shit to me that makes me feel especially like a weirdo autistic faggot and I get self-conscious

Having to remove my shoes in order to take off my ski pants but not wearing socks because none of them are clean. Hurrying to put the shoes back on so that nobody looks funny at my feet.

Babysitter.