Someone I used to work with bought ones of those tall glass latte cups, just the one, just to be seen with one on Teams meetings #MurderOfAFamousBastard

Comedian wrestling on an actual TV channel is exactly what I need in my Friday night

I once watched 2 coaches chase some cones around the local playing field in one of our many storms. They left without at least 10 of them. That was the most farcical thing I've seen in football, until tonight

Next time I don't want to go somewhere I'll take Rio's advice and just explain that I have factors

One reason I love comedy festivals is the relative relaxed nature. Despite my meticulous planning, if I miss out on someone, I'll see someone else, no drama I don't need to see tour shows Seeing a tour going on sale with dates in 2027, over 2 years in the future reiterates I'm doing it right for me

If anyone wanted to watch Wozniak at Mach on the Friday, there's only 2 tickets left

I've said it before, the panel casting for the Sandi era is near perfect, this W series has been no different. I would love to know how much she's involved, it feels like a lot

Why is there a radio advert campaign for stamps? Surely everyone knows of their existence by now

I'm planning 3 different comedy festivals consecutively and the prices are dumb. I can book 3.5 *full* shows for the same price as one WIP from 'big name'. Then you have some great, established comedians selling their shows for a bag of crisps and a high five.

Just listened to episode 1 of this, very excited for more. I don't think I'll be the one to crack the case but I already like the little references and just nice touches that Mark has put in. Love the casting, bring it on

Technology should have stopped advancing exactly 10 years ago, we'd all be better for it

Google, forever removing great features for no good reason

Looking around at my hobbies since the summer wondering if anyone would be interested in a podcast on the optimal way to fit 3 runs into the week alongside unnecessary DIY and the housework

I have to use Facebook for a couple of groups I'm in, it's as anonymous as it can be. The suggested contacts it gives me are still conceivable, complete strangers. It's been cycling through the same people now I'm starting to think I actually know them when I see their name

Spent the day in a very clearly overwhelmed A&E department (not for me and everything is fine) and my god the NHS, right? Bloody marvellous, every single person who works there

It's been a long time since I dated, but seeing the reaction of those who are surprised by a fictional Joe Wilkinson hitting it off with a fictional Keira Knightly makes me think that I have a better idea than most when it comes to dating 40 year old women

Big light on all day sort of day then is it?

Brad Pitt about to record his latest stand up special where he explores his comedy journey through audience interaction

Reincarnation is crazy maybe my baby kitten is someone's dad? Maybe he ran a McDonald's

I *still* believe that the BBC is excellent, despite its ever growing list of flaws. *When* it's sold off for parts future generations won't know what they missed

There are many subtle and complex arguments one can have about the future of the BBC — but I guarantee you that no other channel or streaming service will be as committed to factual programming, children’s education, history shows, religious discussion, poetry, arts, or state of the nation debate

I don't hate Black Friday because you can no longer get a massive telly for way too cheap. I hate it because it absolutely paralyses my spending for the month of November. I just don't believe that anything is the correct price, it's all inflated so that it can be 'reduced' back to normal for BF

Downloading an app to suppress notifications in other apps because the other apps know when you turn notifications off is a perfect advert for modern tech

Cheers Sky, ruining the F1 for anyone waiting to watch delayed after the football

It's that time of year where comedians announce their 'UK Tour' consisting of exclusively places south of Bristol plus Edinburgh. If you ask really nicely they might throw in a Liverpool OR Manchester

Honestly Celeb Traitors was some of the best TV ever. Just perfect. What a tonic.

On this, the day of the penultimate series 20 Taskmaster, I'm calling it. This is my favourite series in recent memory. There's something about it, it's got a charm of the early series. The contestants are all hits. The tasks are beautifully silly. I enjoy every season, but this one is special.

If you start rewatching Stranger Things tonight, and watch one episode per night, you'll be caught up in time to know which character the actor played when the next ones questionable views/actions are brought to light

Joey Barton’s lawyer questioning Lucy Ward about his posts likening her and Eni Aluko to Fred and Rose West. Just about the most perfect response I have heard in a very long time.

Watching an Aussie clip of #TheFootball and their pundits are presenting from outside a cafe with a glass of water each. I know it's morning over there but it was so much nicer to watch than our massive ott green screen studios

"see, the thing is, I wasn't getting as much attention as I wanted on panel shows, so I came up with something so obnoxious that it couldn't be edited out. That way, everyone would know I was there, even if the section had nothing to do with me"

Taskmaster has such an insane amount of content on their official YouTube. Stuff that is so recent as well. It's probably not news to a lot of people, but you can watch hours of actual shows on there

Hi, I'm a comedy newsletter, look at all the great things we have coming up. They're nowhere near you and all sold out, so swivel. I'm just jealous

Saw someone put back a pack of bell peppers because there weren't enough green ones and sometimes you've just got to recognise the signs of someone from another planet

I always like to know it's perfectly possible to have the same tech and phones as the wealthy. Sure theirs might be gold plated, but they're still stuck with the same bugs as you. That update has also ruined their perfectly good experience. That targeted ad, app, bloat, is on their device too

No matter how posh the bathroom, the toilet seat always just comes from Argos

Someone was letting off fireworks earlier - in daylight, the sunshine no less. I always wonder why? Especially at this time of year, just a few hours and it will be dark. When I was younger people said it was when 'the drug dealer' restocked. I'm yet to hear a reason even a tiny bit more plausible

That sounds so interesting, or heartbreaking, or funny. Sorry, I've just not been able to concentrate on a word you just said because you've not cut your label off your scarf and it's absolutely massive, how have you left the house with that dictionary round your neck?

Guess I’m working on my first show in seven years then (seven years 🤯). events.comedy-festival.co.uk/events/matth...

No one likes to admit they're getting old and uncool, but I dropped and broke my favourite bucket today and it struck me how disappointed my anarchic teen self would be at that situation

Our three-night run of KILLER SEAGULLS [of Somerset] begins tomorrow night at the Museum of Comedy. This show has a stellar cast - get yourself a ticket from here: museumofcomedy.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/...

NGL that sounds a bit shit. I get that you won't have Disney money, but I don't want to watch the Doctor staying in and getting a head start on chores

Happy Car Clock Finally Right Day Eve to all who celebrate

5 years or so ago I tried to watch The Great North, I was told a bit like Bob's Burgers. I gave up on the first ep because I couldn't be dealing with a musical TV show, no matter how good it was. I've given it another chance recently and I don't know what I was smoking, it's not a musical at all.

Ooh, I should do that survey for the good of comedy - oh wait I only work in comedy in my head, not real life

Want a Halloween BlueSky name because you think you work on The fucking Simpsons or something? Come to me! Reply with your name and I'll suggest a couple. If you like one, I'll shake an online tip jar at you, but you're under no obligation to pay! Let's do a CREATIVE THING!

Given it’s that time of year. Here’s a pumpkin carving guide I made a way back. Possibly useful if you’ve not done it before. Sorry for a lack of subs.

I dunno, I don't think the Amazon parachute is the final piece of the puzzle stopping me from trying this at home

"when did you know you had ADHD?" Well, a few years ago I had to set a recurring event in my calendar for "lunch" otherwise I'd simply get into bed and be starving. I think that was a pretty early sign

I never got to brag about seeing Nova Twins the other night. Simply excellent. The noises they get out of the 1,000 pedals are incredible