"I just need to confirm your address for security, is it *my exact address*?" ... Yes. I had to think for way longer than I should have while I tried to work out where the security check was? Was it actually my address or something similar to trick me? Yup, just zero form of security whatsoever

There's nothing more paranoid than a banana in this heat. They're really working overtime to smell like a banana

I don't think the kids who made Friends their personality growing up appreciated how crucial their Christmas presents would be to charity shop dvd and board game stock in 2026

May you feel as royal every day as when someone stops jet washing when you walk past

There's nothing more contradictory to me at the moment as these lotto adverts with "real past winners" It could be you, you could have all this money, but still be so unfulfilled you need to appear in a lotto ad

Sure, your modern car might have modern features like airbags or something. But you'll never know the joy of spending a whole journey down the M5 waiting for the mileage to tick over the 6 to 123456

I think having English teams in a European final is a good thing as much as the next guy but I don't think anyone has considered that the rest of us have to put up with just how unashamed Villa fans have become for today

The trouble with being awake at this time - aside from being awake at this time- is I have to see all the smug folk getting an early attempt on their daily dle's

When I was young another child's dad was trying to get them to leave the playground saying he could see the rain 'over there', it was getting closer. Part of me still thinks this wasn't just bullshit to get them to leave and I'll regularly look in the distance to try to see what he saw that day

Proof that manufacturers don't use their own products is the abundance of green gardening tools. No one involved has spent a quarter of an hour looking for the bastard loppers on a lawn

We've got your parcel, we'll let you know when it's out for delivery. ... See that thing in your porch, yeah, it will be delivered today

So glad I'm not at 'proper job' plc anymore. Last year for mental health week, one of the initiatives was to "increase autonomy" which included 'allowing' us to eat at our desks. Because nothing improves mental health like the MD's PA giving you daggers for daring to have a ready meal in peace

Simply not possible to hear the actual Prime Minister and not think it's George Fouracres

Subscribe wherever you listen to or watch your podcasts watch your podcasts watch... podcasts... I blame Ed Gamble exclusively for this dystopia

Cauliflower cheese has absolutely no business counting as one of your 5 a day

A local scuba diving school is advertising targeting anyone: Going away on holiday this year? Or been on holiday? I somewhat admire their determination of targeting almost everyone, including those who might want to learn the skill to go back in time for it to be useful

One of the (many) problems with ADHD medication is taking it with breakfast. An event I skipped so much it formed part of the diagnosis

Looking for a barber in a different town and the best rated one is described as 'fun' by a couple of people. Not sure if I can bring myself to see why

Who do I know coming to Mach next week? Who is everyone seeing? Let me know if there's room in your schedules for a drink!

I dunno, if my party was accused of making up candidates I think this is the exact sort of person I would avoid to represent me

Doubly humbled this morning by a bad training run which subsequently broke my spreadsheet formulas because I hadn't factored in that progress will go backwards sometimes

Run training has a whole new level of motivation when there's a spreadsheet to fill in after

If Ant & Dec were sommeliers they’d have to stand the other way around

Ok. Here we go. I'm looking for £800 to put both my shows onto the EdFringe site. A CERTAIN APPEAL is a show about my fight with DWP and PIP to prove I'm disabled WHAT'S IN THE BOX is my cult panel show with a box Wanna help me get these to Edinburgh? paypal.me/frizfrizzle ko-fi.com/frizfrizzle

Just three weeks to go until we return to magical Machynlleth!  ✨

Groundhog Day but it's just me deleting the Netflix app from my TV and moving iPlayer back above the promo and 'featured'

I have no idea why every email app insists on having 2 separate menu dots and I will never select the one I want first time

It's quite good actually - what an original take on SNLUK, but that's my expert analysis now that I've tuned in and caught up. I don't think I ever 'got' what the US version was, I thought it was a sort of Jimmy Kimmel but with skits. Anyway, love the cast, love the writers room, bring it on

FREE ENTRY* *Access fee £6.95 I dunno, sort of feels like it certainly isn't free and shouldn't be advertised as such

If Amy Gledhill's S21 interview is anything to go by - and it is - she is going to be an absolute delight

This seems excellently useful, especially on a day where half my TL seems to be Fringe

If you buy a used car and it has a random, ugly bit of tape wrapped around something, under no circumstances take it off. It is absolutely vital to something and you will never get it back the same way

Watching For All Mankind set in 'current times' and realising that 15 years ago very really isn't current at all

I get people saying the Mock the Week revival was a low effort rehash, but I disagree. It must take a lot of effort to have just 8 different female panelists across the 8 shows

My parents in Birmingham haven't had their recycling collected for about a year now (power to the strikes) yet every week without fail their neighbour wheels the recycling bin out on bin day, just to bring it back in the morning as some sort of protest. I wish I had the capacity for these problems

Sad, if not unsurprising, to see the reason MTW was revived as an exact reanimation of the corpse it was, rather than something fresh. I don't get the impression this has been different in the last 10/20/(ever?) years, but still, an interesting, depressing, read. open.substack.com/pub/zaraglad...

It is the year 2026 and I still can't cleanly customise my silent phone to allow certain contacts to make a noise. I had a Windows work phone at least 10 years ago that could do this

No I don't watch No Scrubs Scrubs is a show that aired in 2003 Showing us the regular lives Of two medical guys Named Turk and JD

I had the feeling this car dealer was using AI somewhere in their adverts, I just could't put any of my six my fingers on it

Owning a smart TV = having a cold. Mostly, I get through my day and can watch my stuff. For the briefest of moments my nose clears and I can load my app perfectly first time. On the whole I'd just have a smoother time without it

Every time someone posts this article

Comedy pals! With *projects*! I am interested in helping with your *admin* I know my echo chamber, right, you're all champions at it, you don't need help. But I have a bit of time on my hands at the moment and would love to get some meaningful, fun, experience (I have free time and I'm FOC)

When I was younger, in primary school, I could just about reach both ends of a meter stick with my arms as wide as possible. In my head, my arms will always be a meter wide and I regularly, vastly, underestimate spaces because of it

Dishwasher advert: "Our super silent NASA technology is so super silent you'll think you left it in space. Put your baby in and they won't wake up. So quiet we've put a light to shine on the floor to tell you it's on" Dishwasher: SPLUURRRRCLUURRWHHUURRRRRSSPLLURRR I DAZZLE YOU AT NIGHT NOW AS WELL

Public toilet soap dispenser roulette. Win = soap Lose = share bacteria with hundreds if not thousands of the unsoaped masses

Oofft, love to see a panenka saved #TheFootball

I got caught out by an AI phone receptionist today. I am ashamed, and sorry, it won't happen again

Back on my (Substack) bullshit. Writing is good mentally. This one's Leicester Comedy Festival. I have mixed experiences. Great festival, sure. Although, a comedian stole my picture taken here for their banner, no credit, acknowledgement - I am in NO WAY bitter. open.substack.com/pub/siturner...