Congrats to the new king of late night Greg Gutfeld

but nothing about the school shooting today? cool thanks

Shazam’d Wonderwall at the Oasis concert last night

I am begging RFK jr to get a chemical peel

What are they gonna do? Take away all the Clippers first round draft picks?

well that’s a bummer

I wonder if they'll use Stephen Miller's coffin for the funeral?

my fav thing about having a 2 year old is when she screams I WANT NEW ELBOWS and looks at u like you’re insane cuz you don’t understand what she means

yes of course I requested Sherri Papini’s book from the library

should I buy the jelly sandals all the girls are wearing or should I just stick my foot in a blender

u love to see it

finally read Project Hail Mary and I loved it so much it’s become one of my fav books of all time does that make me basic

The Tesla diner is unfortunately in my neighborhood so I took a little peek to see boxes of milk and frozen foods out in the heat. Good luck to everyone’s stomachs.

Watching the 1998 movie Sphere based on the Michael Crichton novel on Tubi AMA

today I learned about Lafufus from my 9 year old niece which are counterfeit Labubus. I love living in 2025

Excited for the Clippers to win the 2014 championship!

thinking about getting really into overnight oats

it’s Hell week in LA for ppl with babies & pets (fireworks)

“The jury, comprising of eight men and four women…” oh well that’s why

firing missiles at each other is such boy behavior

can’t believe I’m not GM for the Clippers

It’s a good thing Congress isn’t alive to see this

is this cuz no one went to his parade

Michigan 4ever

Trump just proves u can get away with anything when you’re hot

ICE crossed a line in LA

im so desperate for something new to watch I just googled “tv shows”

Best books I read last month. I also read one that had great reviews but it may have been the worst book ever written. It shall remain nameless #booksky

made the mistake of looking at an author’s instagram while reading their book and saw they took a mirror selfie with an ipad :(

A voodoo donuts just opened in my neighborhood and the guy on the logo looks like the steampunk guy I had a one night stand with in 2007 who legally changed his name from Greg to Aspen

calling 911 to report the audiobook I’m listening to for mouth sounds

Saw a high school kid at the park wearing a Massive Attack shirt and was gonna complement him but then thought I might ruin his day cuz he doesn’t want a millennial with a toddler thinking he’s cool

I’m so happy we traded him away for Paul George and Kawhi. No really it was a fantastic move. Congrats to the clippers perfect basketball team no notes.

men will literally climb over frozen dead bodies and trash instead of going to therapy

when u own a lot of homes the statistical likelihood of a dead body washing ashore at one of them increases

ok maybe Matt Gaetz was more qualified for this job

books I read recently that I loved. always looking for recommendations! #booksky

the thing with Sinners is that it made being a vampire look fun as hell, I admire their sense of community

I’ve got PTPD (post The Pitt depression)

need the Clippers to win for my mental health

This is the Clippers year to win it all you heard it here first folks

Kawhi I believe in u

I had the highest grade in my college econ class and became a TA the next semester but god as my witness I couldn’t explain a single fucking thing about what’s going on with the stock market

I know the economy is crashing but more importantly Milchick is in the Mission Impossible trailer!

white lotus trying to convince us someone is gonna use an unwashed blender of spoiled milk

“Yeah you dumb bitch we all knew!!!” -me yelling to no one when I read the twist in a book I guessed chapters ago

cried at my first ep of Bluey I have officially lost my edge

the only way I’m gonna exercise at this point in my life is if the dudes from Scared Straight pull me out of bed and handcuff me to a treadmill