Calling it right now, costume of the year for 2026 Halloween is going to be:

A crow sends out a party invite. Call that an attempted murder

“Sorry we have a full flight today we need someone to come check their bags, there haven’t been any volunteers!” Sounds like a YOU problem airlines in keeping my stuff out of the nightmare box

@jayboller.bsky.social I love the tips scale, I thought the Denver omelette and cheeseburger one were good (for gas station food)

Diners, drive-ins and… gas stations? I get to try the new menu collaboration between Guy Fieri and Holiday/Circle K station stores. Come along for the ride with me and @heavytable.com

@lastweektonight.com in light of the St. Paul Saints comment, check out what they have going on at the food courts heavytable.com/hot-dog-hell...

Behold, the $135, six-foot-long, nearly infinitely fattening Saint Paul Saints Land of 10,000 Calories hot dog, as reviewed and (almost completely) eaten by @eliradtke17.bsky.social and friends. heavytable.com/hot-dog-hell...

The story is up! Enjoy the story of me eating much too much hot dog

One of my favorite things about editing The Heavy Table is getting to send writers out to do the sort of insane and hilarious stuff that the 25-year-old version of me was always game for. This one looked like a damn doozy.

Before/after.

Sorry I missed your call I was reading smut

The “finance” department doing “quarterly forecasting”