Afternoon

Something that seems like a great idea when you’re 12.

Ordinary planet

Trump is Santa Claus for America’s wealthiest alcoholics

Nick Papagiorgio after hanging out with Jilly From Philly.

jackson merrill beating a kid at rock paper scissors and then actually refusing to give him an autograph is incredible content lmao

Topical

Not anymore! A meaningless bloop single, then erased on a fielder’s choice. He is vindicated!

Runs? We’ve been allowed to score runs this whole time????

Good guess.

Ok that was smooth as hell

Forgot to turn the game on. My bad.

Our Guards

Hey, the bullpen was good, and Merrill. Yeah, sure.

We do love our good friend Jackson.

Can someone get the third out of the inning? Anyone? Anyone?

Arraez striking out against a RHP. Washed.

Career 50 wRC+. Full pension, World Series champ.

Super funny. But also, Helsley challenged in less than 2 seconds, which is the guideline for “immediate.” Shelton is out of line.

That was crazy

If you see this post a gig photo you took.

Nope never mind, it’s always and forever 311 - Transistor Intro (into Transistor), which was also my wedding introduction song.

My walk out song would be Rx Bandits - Bled To Be Free, but I’m built different.

Totally fine with using Blind. It’s a great intro, the rest of the song doesn’t matter. It’s not like Hell’s Bells is Mozart, but the intro is good.

Great movie. Of course the Padres won while I wasn’t watching.

Weston!

Brought the friar down to Tijuana with them, for colonialism.

Think I’m gonna catch a movie tomorrow.

Wandy Peralta is the Craig Stammen of current Padres relievers (pejorative).

Welp

This is why relievers aren’t managers.

Laureano should be batting in the top 3 in the order. He’s our best hitter.

RAMON

Miguel Andunothardenough

Campy with a caught stealing???? Who is this guy?

I’ve reached the “if Campy’s not challenging, I trust him” phase of this small sample size.

Nice to see Max Strus knock down a bunch of 3’s tonight in a solid Cavs win, but also who the hell is Riley Minix?

We have our first lead of 2026!

Trick question, Campy is god.

Our sweet summer child.

He both had it all the way and really had to go for it.

JACKSON

Three groundballs. That’s what Valdez does, run aground.

Bogaerts > Tatis

Campy time 😬

I had an Ivan Rodriguez poster in my room, but the correct answer is Barry Bonds. Fell in love with him on the Pirates, with Bonilla and Van Slyke. By the time he really roided out with the hated Giants, I wasn’t a kid anymore.

Should we all reintroduce our baseball allegiances for a quick refresher? No explanation. 1. Baseball is life 2. Life sucks 3. There is no god 4. May god please end our suffering swiftly

Maybe we can get Armageddon started earlier.

The come back starts now!

Xander in the 2 spot, coming through just like we all predicted.