the need for me to share this surprise for my gf like i dont wanna keep my mouth shut about it

help???? my partner today in the ambulance has the same name as my ex-fiancee???

the power of me over facetime is wild cuz wym i got my girlfriend's cat to stop being a pain while 3.5k miles away

the genuine joy on my girlfriend's face as she got my alexa to turn off my lights using voice commands while on facetime

UPDATE ITS NOW EATING MASHED POTATOES WITH CHOPSTICKS

"dork perception" im so dumb i meant depth perception LIKE I COULDNT SEE

my partner today at work really tossed me the keys to drive the ambulance knowing damn well i had one contact lens in like DOES THIS MAN HAVE A DEATH WISH I HAVE NO DORK PERCEPTION

me w chronic illnesses 🫱🏻‍🫲🏾 medical professional gf me being insanely sick and almost 3.5k miles away from her

i was talking about how i dont like fruit punch snapple to my gf on facetime and she prOCEEDS TO PUNCH ME OVER THE PHONE SAYING NOW I JUST GOT A FRUIT PUNCH HELP???

never did i expect my girlfriend to facetime me on a night out to show me off to everyone

i am cringing so hard at myself why was i like this

hearing my girlfriend react to my tiktoks while on facetime is a wild experience

its me im the gf

"boutta crack open a cold one" i say to my girlfriend as i open my go go squeeze applesauce

Playing in nature is the best. 自然で遊ぶの最の高ですっ☆

girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend

CHAT MY GIRLFRIEND CALLED ME STUPID I'M GONNA CRY

coke zero my beloved you have betrayed me

chat, why is my girlfriend eating ravioli with chopsticks??? help???

chat i really be doin math conversions for her help

"NO IM RAWDOGGING IT" -me, explaining to @melisasuzan.bsky.social why i wont take painkillers for my headache

i dont think anyone will understand how much fun it is to drive an ambulance on a private airport runway

twitchcon: a summary from me - gave so many uppies (apparently ppl are impressed how strong i am and tht im all muscle??) - quack quack bitch -its always fun to be a goof in another city with friends :)

in this house we play twice in the ambulance

ITS THE POWER OF THE UNICORN STICKER SPRINKLES/SPARKLES YOU DID THIS

would u trust this loser to drive an ambulance

I love the slide. 滑り台大好きですっ☆

Show me an image on your phone that has your energy but is not a selfie.

she didnt need to call me out

I STUCK MY DICK IN THE MICROWAVE

i love taking notes so of course i had to take them for my first watch of howl's moving castle

update: I HAVE FUCKED THE BED

me: im not gonna play date everything also me: IM GOING TO FUCK THE BED

brands asking for feedback hate to see me coming

no criticisms #AceAttorney

CHAT I GOT A MACHETE

IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO ME YOU'LL KNOW WHO DID IT @shewolfash.bsky.social

i really do be forgetting i have a friend that works for nickelodeon AND SHE WORKED ON THE NEW AVATAR SHOW

if there's a screen, ao3 will be seen :)

i really do be talking to my nintendogs like they're my real dog

TWITCH DONT YOU DARE TRY TO CENSOR ME

being friends with me is wild cuz one moment i'll be talking about my cute little sticker collection and then next i be talking about my love of milfs

july 15th is my ex-fiancée's birthday, a day that i hate every year but now july 15th is the day i passed my new york state emt exam :))

우리는 하나

“Superman is too woke!” Literally the first page of the first ever appearance of Superman: