Who wants to tell the sleeping Annabelle that she actually has to move so I can lie down?

You will bend to my will, clogged ice maker!

Ok, Ken, I have a question about law enforcement. Should law enforcement investigate you for illegal voting?

It’s only 9 am and this day is already kicking my ass.

I’m honestly pretty glad the men’s World Cup is over. Between that and the two slams, I’ve been pretty tied to sports schedules for the last 7 weeks. I need a break.

I completely missed the Jimothy thing. I have no idea who or what that’s all about. I don’t need to know. Just kind of marveling that I something when I basically scroll all damn day.

I’m bitter this game went to extra time because I wanted to be napping by now.

This goalie is playing out of his mind.

Think I can turn the Royals game off now? (Don’t worry, folks, you know I have two TVs.)

I love a feel-good story with a happy ending.

Oh, the Tate brothers are in custody? I love that for them!

That French player does not want extra time.

France just does not care at all.

Double plays save lives.

Fun story about tonight’s game: Mom called the bottom of the 9th “revolting.” I think she would probably use that same word again for the top of the 10th. I’m guessing the bottom of the 10th would get a much better word.

You’ve been murdered. Who do you want on the case? There is only one correct answer and you all know it.

Gosh darn it, Carter, I asked you to hit it over the second baseman!

I had to get in the hot car of death for 15 minutes. I see I missed some things. #KCBaby

Stopped at an Indian food truck for dinner. They were out of curries so I got chow mein. (No, I can’t explain it.) They asked what level spice I wanted. I don’t want spice on chow mein so I said 1. And if that’s their 1, remind me not to go above 2.

I just found a new true crime podcaster/TikToker. Listened to one episode. And now I’m mad this idiot has an audience and makes a living doing it because most everything she said about this case was biased and misleading. I’m also just primed to be mad. But it was bad.

Welp. No AC for Sarah.

My stress level is incredibly high.

Sarah needs good news. Sarah needs a break. Sarah needs her car AC working again for cheap. Sarah is so hot and crabby, she is disembodied and speaking in third person.

I have a few free hours, so I’m sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee watching the new Scott Peterson documentary and looking forward to the day everyone realizes I’m actually not crazy for never having believed he did it.

Who wants to guess how much getting my car’s AC fixed will cost me tomorrow?

Encountered a man in the wild who called himself a constitutionalist. He said that means he supports defends the constitution. So I thanked him for defending birthright citizenship and flag burning and equality and due process for all persons. How do you think those thanks were received?

You really have to wonder why I am the way I am.

Earl Gas. You’ve got to admit that last name can work.

I’ve said all along I expected he’d start the season.

Selfishly, I want England to equalize. I love chaos.

Complete list of people I loathe more than Ted Cruz:

I feel like it’s only a matter of time before my left Achilles snaps.

My schedule is very stupid and I hate it.

The way he describes people on the left makes it hard to take him seriously as someone wanting to fix “political polarization.”

Oh, Montana, I think you might have a good one there in Sam Forstag.

Lagerald Vick is charged with what now?!?!

The president is insane, batshit crazy, out of his fucking mind, dangerously obsessed with ridiculous things, and we’re all just sitting back letting it happen.

Whoever you are, narc, I need you to know you are a bad person. You made a choice to make life harder and more painful for another human being. A person who is already marginalized, mistreated, and targeted. You should be deeply ashamed. I am disgusted by you.

We have reached a deeply unhealthy level of skepticism as a society.

The thing that strikes me about that picture of Mitch is it’s very reminiscent of how my dad looked in some pics I have from after his big stroke.

Ok, McConnell, was that so fucking hard?!?! JFC.

Love these later inning implosions.

I would express condolences to his sister. I might note if he was funny and kind one-on-one. And then I would express sorrow that his capacity for kindness and compassion ended there. I would express sorrow that he chose to pursue policies that caused harm.

Top 3 words that come to mind when I think of Lindsey Graham: Immoral Weak Feckless I’ve actually long pitied the man because that’s what I feel for spineless cowards. I also feel something much harsher than pity, of course, because of how much harm he caused.

What on earth happened to Lindsey Graham? That’s shocking.

Oh, the violent rapist wrecked his knee?

I’m tired for Switzerland.

The “take all that tacky shit down” budget for the next president is going to have to be big.

I don’t have an empty day on my schedule for the rest of the month. I am tired.