Letting YouTube ads bully me into watching The Affair is one of the best decisions I've ever made. I cannot tear myself away.

The Amol hate is giving me life.

Prefab Sprout: When Love Breaks Down Kim Wilde: Never Trust A Stranger Pet Shop Boys: Heart Madonna: Dress You Up Pat Benetar: Love Is A Battlefield Laura Branigan: Self Control Roxy Music: Same Old Scene Monaco: What Do You Want From Me Divine: You Think You're A Man Rose Laurens: American Love

Why's there a security tag on this? It's not as if it'll be worth that much... oh. Blimey.

I think we can all agree this is an upgrade

actual GASP

🧐

Just axe Strictly already.

Had leek and potato soup with garlic bread for lunch and a red onion, cucumber and tomato salad with my biryani for dinner. All I can say is it’s a good job I’ve no plans to snog anyone later.

Can't believe The Other Bennet Girl left us on a cliff-hanger about Slim & Sprightly's performance at the 4.20 in York.

Made a pizza

Me: AI is ruining the art of spontaneous comminication. Also me: asking AI for tactful ways of requesting money owed to me by someone because it's the most awkward and excrutiating thing in the world.

Have totally compensated for my tumbling stocks and shares by scoring a bag of carrots for 4 pence.

There's a lot to be mad at in the world right now but Ruth Jones' portrayal of Mrs Bennet is right up there.

Watching season two of Deadloch and WHY IS EVERYBODY YELLING ALL OF THE TIME STOP IT.

Weird to think that Liza Minnelli and Dusty Springfield were respectively only 43 and 50 when they made their comeback records with the Pet Shop Boys. At the time they felt like ancient ghosts of showbiz past. The equivalents now (in age if not in stature) would be Cheryl Tweedy and Emma Bunton.

Thanks to our stupid hot water system I'm way more knowledgeable about valves than I ever intended to be.

When did your obsession with hot toxic women begin?

just noticed this unfortunate juxtaposition of public event and cinema booking in my calendar

They dragged that overhyped irritating oik Timothée Chalamet so hard on The View and I was living for it.

The chemistry between Sarita Choudhury and Denzel Washington in Mississippi Masala absolutely SIZZLES, I'm obsessed.

Alysa Liu dancing her heart out to Donna Summer gave me way more tingles than any of the men doing those stupid back flips that Surya Bonaly was already doing ten times better back in the day.

Alysa Liu being happier for the lass who took bronze than she was for her own gold medal is everything.

I can definitely spot a triple salchow now. Most of the time. Kind of. If I'm lucky.

I feel like any pair picking the Gladiator soundtrack to skate to should be penalised 100 points.

I'm cackling at the state of the coverage where we didn't even see the gold medal routine

The anxiety of waiting to see whether ice skaters get a green, yellow or red light after each thing they do is something else.

A gaggle of racists came for these two lovely bakers when they went halal-friendly so we ordered a batch of brownies from them along with everyone else in our community and now they're overrun with orders 🙌🏼

Watching a Poirot in which there's been a grand theft but I'm more worried about Miss Lemon losing her keys.

Here for Rybakina representing introverts with her low-key Steffi Graf style celebration after winning match point. #AustralianOpen

Catherine O'Hara had too many iconic moments to mention but Moira Rose giving Stevie a pep talk will stay with me for the rest of time

It really sends me when podcasts have "seasons". You're having a chat with a mate, you're not Bridgerton.

Do away with weather forecasts tbh, we'll just assume it's rain unless told otherwise.

I just love how this series proved that Traitors turning on each other doesn't automatically make for better gameplay or tv because that was epic and heartwarming. #TheTraitors

There's no way Faraaz should have sat on his theory til morning. With Jack safe he was toast anyway so the only move was clocking Rachel to her face and daring her to kill him. #TheTraitors

My idea of reckless risk-taking is having a Twinings sleep tea in the middle of the day.

How have none of them figured out the traitors are the ones that never come in last at breakfast #TheTraitors

The way people's job backgrounds keep dominating this show, I half expect tomorrow's murder to be a horse that's been found flogged to death #TheTraitors

The best thing about my Netflix membership running out today is I no longer have to see Ricky Gervais' stupid face each time I click on the site.

The biggest plot twist will be if Jake and James turn out not to have a family connection despite confusing my addled old brain all series by looking like identical twins #TheTraitors

The cold weather makes us so ravenous that we've eaten our dinner already.

Not to be all doom and gloom but 'explosive' storylines is what led to Big Brother and all our soaps going rapidly downhill #TheTraitors

The ethnics dropping like flies again 🧐 #TheTraitors

Narnia snack for Narnia weather

Not saying I'm still in Christmas mode but I keep asking myself who could be the Secret Santa #TheTraitors

Another day, another roast

Rama Duwaji is my new Princess Di

Just had a telephone appointment with a GP who had a bad cough so I joked "you should see a doctor about that!" and it went down like a lead balloon.

No one else could pull off saying Lady Gaga like a Queen song

Organising food and games around Evil Under the Sun later as it should be