why is society obsessed with spistachio scent right now

the most beautiful i’ve ever looked was my sister’s wedding day and i still didn’t outshine the bride. notice how respectful i am?

I think my container of laneige lip mask is going to last for 70 years

alright I’ll say it

my cat is utterly perplexed by the concept of a shower la croix

tired of seeing the same three girls on pinterest when I look for hairstyles!!!!!!!!

titty papa

Call me Schlumpy

YAY!!!

let’s spin around so fast together!

“I could not be a man’s girlfriend if I hoped to be a plane’s wife.”

i get the best sleep when my jammies are monochromatic

March 6th (assuming no unforeseen technical difficulties) You’re the first to know

passive aggressive note found in my most recent library book… what could it mean!!

day off and it’s 22°?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

my 600-lb fart

I’ve been workin on some new wrinkles for ya

i love this video and i love that they divorced immediately after this incident

i drawled this

i appreciate that my coworkers got me a cake for my last day but this messaging is wild when one of my new coworkers is @squarle.bsky.social

i don’t even pack i just bring as many clothes as possible and pray something works

My Real Life Effect Is Powerful

HAPPY BIRTHDAY love of my life @squarle.bsky.social!!! you are the funniest smartest steadiest and most special person to me ♥️ 28 more like 20 great am I right

i love that i have the silliest looking puppy in the whole world and maybe beyond

dessertmogging everyone at the potluck with cheesecake-stuffed chocolate ganache-topped brookie cupcakes

this almost made me cry

there’s no other solution, my ends are too split

if i found kyle mclachlan beating it in the bathroom every single night to a boobie mag after avoiding every one of my advances for months that’d be enough for me to kill him

My Wivesss 💋🫶🏻

I'm Driving - Sent from My Car

Troye Sivan was assigned gay at birth when his parents decided to put the e at the end of his first name

do NOT ask me to push my shoulder blades out because I will do it immediately and it’ll scare the bitches

Never say “kept it warm for ya” if you’re getting up from a seat I’m about to use. That’s the last thing I want.

ive lost the ability to sing

honestly it didn’t even hurt that much lol

just ate the chicken sandwich of sleepiness

my life is now crossplay

what it feels like to walk past my coworkers after putting my two weeks in

we are fartley squirt

was just barely warm enough with just enough light to take the puppie for a walk after work yesterday and i believe it was healing for the whole family.

why did meta ai nonconsensually turn my chair into a catgirl

10 days remain

i love that i love the beatles

the Super Bowl commercials were evil this year

I should embroider more?

does curling even exist at all outside of the olympics

this kind of cookie effing sucks.