Figured I’d look ahead into next week so you don’t have to. You’re welcome.

Every morning President Trump makes a promise to himself that he can’t keep.

BREAKING: After months of wrestling with the Iran war, President Trump declares victory!

BREAKING: The White Trash House circus is on full display as clown cars & motorcycles jump across the peoples lawn in preparation for President Pedo the clowns birthday. A patriotic sight sure to fill every American w/ pride knowing the world isn’t laughing at us anymore.

Get it done already

Happy Caturday Bluesky 😻

This is horrendous!

Remember that rally where Trump couldn’t stop talking to his supporters about Arnold Palmer’s junk?

BREAKING: President Trump and Stephen Miller announce renovation plans for the Statue of Liberty.

Bread and circuses….minus the bread.

BREAKING: The Onion announces its first act upon acquisition of InfoWars will be to replace its host, Alex Jones with a gay frog.

This was my favorite episode as a kid. #TrumpEpstein

Kash Patel is on the case rooting out all the evil boogers in the DEEP STATE.

Can Joe Rogan have the decency to put a wig on that cue ball and some Mar-a-Lago lip injections since he always ends up riding in trump’s bitch seat?

BREAKING: AI Jesus loves kicking Trump’s ass.

BREAKING: AI Jesus serves humble pie to Donald Trump. 🥧

Am I the only one jonesing for more Bryon Noem content?

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus Christ defeats the Antichrist effortlessly at his Second Coming, specifically at the Battle of Armageddon. The victory occurs when Jesus destroys the "lawless one" and casts him into the lake of fire.

So it turns out the art of the deal is to just threaten to kill someone’s whole family if they don’t do what you want.

Trump’s America

Live your life so your kids dance for you like this ❤️❤️❤️

Trump’s America

BREAKING: Trump's criminal lawyer and newly named Attorney General, Todd Blanche, announces his first action will be to update the office title to Fixer General.

We all grieve in our own way

So why lie and say you were at a business meeting?

President Trump hangs Pam Bondi out to dry.

Trump is on a losing streak with the court cases filed to take more of our rights away. Not an April Fool's Day joke. He's gonna need more ketchup! 😂😂😂

Diaper Donnie 🔊

BREAKING: Secretary of War Pete Kegsbreath comes to Kid Rocks and US Army pilots rescue, erasing suspensions and sinking all investigations into any abuse or waste of taxpayers money.

BREAKING: Karoline Leavitt says if you don’t delete this pic of her with her baby you’ll get the hose again.

BREAKING: After Iran hacked his email account, FBI Director Kash Patel stated he doesn’t let his gooning interfere with his job performance and insists he’s hard at work everyday.

If they don't need masks when they're in an airport, explain to me why they need them when they are not in an airport?

BREAKING: After watching little Marco walking around in the comically oversized clodhopper shoes he gave him, Trump ups the ante and gives Rubio a whole new outfit to see how far he’s willing to go to appease him.

How will you celebrate that special day to come?🎉

Have you thanked Ted Cruz? 🔊

ICE agents at the airport: “We’ll be confiscating all food, beverages, and snacks for your safety.”

Come on Big Macs do your fucking job already.

BREAKING: A federal panel announced the release of a commemorative gold coin to celebrate the 250th anniversary of the republic. Dubbed ‘the Krasnov’, it prominently features Trump and Putin in the biblical act of expressing their appreciation of each other, one dictator to another.

It warms my heart to know that long after dementia donnie has left this earth, his spineless sycophant Lil’ Marco, who betrayed every principle for power will never be able to wash the stench of trump off for the rest of his life.

I’m looking forward to celebrating the day that Donald Trump can no longer hurt innocent people.

The teaser from Rob Zombies new horror film ‘The Kennedy Center Board’ looks like it could be his scariest one yet.

Mission Incompetent

BREAKING: RFK Jr brings Twinkie man to orgasm.

From the makers of the “PAB” & the “No Kings” coins comes this limited-edition collectible masterpiece, the Good Riddance coin. A commemorative coin celebrating the one thing that gives us all HOPE as well as a reminder that the clock is ticking & even a tyrant can’t escape Father Time.

Pam Bondi watched “tens of thousands” of Epstein CSAM videos and concluded that ‘if we prosecute everyone in the Epstein files, the entire system will collapse”. So rather than pursuing justice, she chose to protect a cabal of kid raping billionaires who are currently burning the world down. Vile.

How fkn dare she try to help people!! The audacity!