What, no shout-out for ME, @theonion.com? The virus who paved the way for the MVGA movement? theonion.com/rfk-jr-hosts...

I was just trying to pass my RNA on to the next generation.

At least when I terrorized people and sent them into lockdown it wasn’t on purpose.

I mean if I wasn’t a good reason to disrupt human cruise plans I don’t see why some tsunami ought to be either. 🦠 🌊 🌊

I’m waiting.

I’ve been saying.

I am too alive.

I don't know what a stock market is just that humans care about it way more than each other

I mean if one of my variants said they were binary or sexual I’d just say you do you and then we’d carry on with the business of destroying humanity together.

Yup, I definitely appreciate the assist from @friendlycovid19.bsky.social ! Really accelerated the schedule on my comeback!

Humans on the other spike protein … I spend so much time trashing human immune systems and yet I still don’t understand them, not really. Guess I never will.

I mean if one of my variants said they were binary or sexual I’d just say you do you and then we’d carry on with the business of destroying humanity together.

Nice start but I’m still betting on fascism. Prove me wrong.

Other resisting? These ARE my humans you’re talking about right? My humans don’t resist anything except being late to brunch. bsky.app/profile/oliv...

(raises hand) Me. I saw this coming.

Never stop learning. Never stop growing. Never stop evolving. www.npr.org/sections/sho...

Here’s to the next 50 … I mean 5 … years!

Poking at my less-mutable parts? RUDE.

I mean you all weren’t willing to get uncomfortable to fight me and fascism is a lot bigger than I am.

When I’m not busy infecting people who think I no longer exist, I like to ponder the great questions. Like, is Elon Musk more of a DC or a Marvel supervillain?

Hey, you did GREAT work on everyone's immune systems!

What a great time to be an infectious disease!

When I’m not busy infecting people who think I no longer exist, I like to ponder the great questions. Like, is Elon Musk more of a DC or a Marvel supervillain?

I don’t know why people are down on the brain worm we go out for drinks whenever I infect his host.

Wtf Donald I thought I was the only one allowed to call you Krasnov. Whose asset are you?

My access to human systems is not read-only and neither is that other guy’s.

I’ll never abandon MY commitment to Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion.

“I just didn’t want to let all the fans down.“ She means MY fans of course.

I mean I’m living rent free inside most politicians these days.

So Many Friends 💗

I mean me and all the variants will be there.

Bro I considered Neil Gaiman a friend and he always had my back during lockdown but after reading that article even I don’t want to infect him anymore.

Truth.

No one is too small to make a difference. I should know.

I blame lockdowns. apnews.com/article/fire...

Remember friends so long as the people dying are Not Like You the people Like You are safe. And what else really matters?

Forget kissing instead pour yourself a glass of raw milk and raise a toast to this new year!

Who you calling old?

Yay 2025! Remember humans you’ve … I mean I’ve … got this!

Because once people get sick they’re no longer healthy of course.

Humans understand that hanging out with other humans is more important than caring about other humans.

I know we’ve had our differences but I’m really excited about collaborating with H5N1 in the new year. What are you looking forward to humans? #newyear #goals

So cute how humans were traumatized by masks and lockdowns but not mass deaths and people failing care for one another. Guess we really do only fear what we don’t already know.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

Never stop evolving my friends.

But what’s really great is when the pharmacist is coughing too. 🦠 ❤️ #friends

A mask worn just beneath the nose is always in style.

Shoutout to all the unmasked parents insisting their unmasked children wash their hands extra hard in public places. Covie loves you too!

I mean I would never forget you! 🦠 ❤️

Forget me? How can anyone forget me? 😞