Laundry is so much easier when you've been wearing disposable underwear and bathrobes all week. I should get hysterectomies more often.

Nessarose Thropp is a selfish, manipulative, spoiled bitch who, quite honestly, deserved to have a house dropped on her. Her portrayal as anything else for the Broadway musical is a disservice to the audience and to her character. In this essay, I will...

Remember when the maddest we've ever been about anything was the Wordle being "Knoll"?

Hey, #OtherSarah. Your kid's enrollment paperwork for Sacred Heart Catholic School came to me. They need it returned, along with a copy of Cecilia's kindergarten report card. Let me know what you want me to do with this! #LearnYourEmail

A good night to everyone on Frontier Airlines flight 3540, except the whiny little bitch in seat 2D. Frontier doesn't control the weather, sir, any more than you can control your very big feelings, apparently.

Frontier airlines: You're eligible to bid for an upgrade! For UpFront Plus we recommend bidding at least $60. Me: I bid $20. F: Your bid is highly unlikely to be accepted. 😥 Me: Yeah. I don't actually care where I sit. 😉 F: You're bid was accepted! Enjoy the extra leg room and empty middle seat!

Do people practice being the slowest walkers at the airport?

Don't forget to bring soup for your family to the protests today!

I need screw-top travel mug lids to not always finish tightening directly over the handle.

Did the giant arrow pointing down the row of parking spots all angled in the same direction mean something different in different driving schools?

Like yes, calling a trans kid by their chosen name and pronouns makes them feel more safe at school and that improves overall mental well-being, but you should also do it because you're an adult who can choose not to act like a dick

Attention coroners: Let October of 2025 be the month you finally stop listing Down Syndrome as a primary/immediate cause of death. Do it for Down Syndrome Awareness Month.

When you see a person driving and you know exactly how they got that damage on their car.

Watching season 3 of "Mr. Mercedes" has made me realize Kate Mulgrew would be a great Annie Wilkes.

Getting some spooky season decorations made! Here are the before and afters! #upcycle #art #Hummel #spooky #spookyseason #thrift

Really torn between hoping you all get raptured and finally leave us alone, and looking forward to you all realizing God doesn't like you either.

Gonna be taking plenty of Tylenol after getting my uterus removed. 🖕🏻

I don't know who needs to hear this*, but bathroom stalls large enough for a wheelchair are not accessible if you can't get into the bathroom. How hard is it to install an automatic door opener? *I do know who needs to hear. It's all of the business buildings.

Hey #OtherSarah. Your dermatology clinic sent me the link to activate your patient portal. I mean, I'm happy to set it up for you; I just need the phone number on file at the clinic. Please advise! #LearnYourEmail

I don't want to brag, but @heynowdana.com and I became BFFs last night. Also, I got the new @deadpioneers.bsky.social album!

Anyone who thinks empathy is a made up New Age term that has done a lot of damage doesn't deserve it from others.

"I think it's worth it. It's worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God given rights. That's a prudent deal. It is rational." - Charlie Kirk Thoughts and prayers, Chuck.

Mike Lamp is leaving @cprnews.bsky.social?? Who will drop F bombs when they think the mic isn't working?? 😭😭😭 #publicradio

HELLO I’M MAC THE DOG HAVE YOU, OR HAS YOUR LOVED ONE HEARD A NOISE? YOU’RE NOT ALONE. JOIN ME AND OTHER DEFENDERS AGAINST UNKNOWN NOISES BY CALLING 1-888-555-WOOF

It has been literally like 4 months since I have gotten so much as a text while being on call. Until this weekend. The weekend of the blood moon eclipse. When my phone has been blowing up nonstop. Jesus H.

"The Naked Gun" (2025) is better than all of its predecessors. I said what I said. Don't @ me.

Isaac and Francoise on "Wednesday" are giving strong "You're my present this year" vibes. #folgers #incest #siblings #YoureMyPresentThisYear

Thunderstorms > Weeks of non-stop 90+°F days. Welcome, Autumn!

I realized my shelves are like 2 feet deep and super high so I just made little shelves for them and now I have more room to grow my @stephenking.bsky.social collection! 😂

Can we bring Favstar back for Bluesky and Mastodon?

HOW TO HELP WISCONSIN FLOOD VICTIMS Here is a community spreadsheet to support those impacted by the recent flash flooding in Wisconsin. Please add goods you can donate or services you can offer, and SHARE it within your networks: tinyurl.com/mr3v6y6e

It has been 592 days, and I am still mad about how Letterkenny ended.

If your vehicle's speed is monitored by GPS, feel free to move the fuck out of the far left lane.

Happy World Rain Day! It’s raining… – Cats and dogs (English) – Old ladies and sticks (Welsh) – Like a pissing cow (French) – As from Esteri’s ass (Finnish) – Penguins headfirst (Uruguayan Spanish) – Pilot whales (Faroese) – Chair legs (Greek) – Wheelbarrows (Czech) – Men (hallelujah)

I don't know how many times I can say this. @kylec.bsky.social is a goddamn national treasure.

While we take shorter showers and xeriscape our yards, AI data centers (5400+ in the US) use 18,000-550,000 gallons of water per day. Each. AI is expected to use 1,744,000,000,000 gallons of water per year by 2027. But ChatGPT is convenient, and turning photos into cartoons is fun, so it's fine.

This is definitely better than curing cancer and alzheimer's and multiple sclerosis and long covid and inflammatory bowel disease and sickle cell and parkinson's and amyotrophic lateral sclerosis and lupus and endometriosis and cystic fibrosis and spinal muscular atrophy and rheumatoid arthritis

"Sinners" was so good it has ruined all movies for me forever, but "Superman" was pretty great. And Nathan Fillion obviously worked in a Captain Hammer reference.

Hey, #OtherSarah. I just canceled your appointment at Michigan Department of State for Monday, July 21, 2025 at 9:10 am. No need to show up. But you may want to #LearnYourEmail before trying to renew your registration again.

Who is the best Mythic Quest character, and why is your answer Jo?

Looking forward to half our neighborhood finding out homeowners insurance doesn't cover damage from illegal fireworks.

54% of children in the USA are covered by Medicaid or CHIP. Fuck off with your bullshit pro-life stance.

The end of an era. The best of times were had here, and the best of friends were made. Thank you for the wonderful memories. 🧡🍔🥜 biztimes.com/aj-bombers-t...

It is wild to me how many people are completely unbothered by the sirens and lights of emergency vehicles behind them. Like, bestie, the firetruck will 100% plow your car out of the way if it needs to.

Oh no, please don’t tether other Democrats to a hot, kind, honest, charismatic politician who gives a shit about affordable housing

Who is in charge of ice cream flavors? Can we bring back sour patch kids?

Flip the power dynamic at work by convincing your employer you're a trust fund baby. You're only working so you're not sitting at home all day. They realize how much they need you when they know you can walk away at any time. Follow me for more job security advice.

Glitter gets a bad rap for getting everywhere and being impossible to remove, but have you all ever shucked corn?

When you go out there, don’t march for the Democratic Party, a candidate, not your state, or even your constitution. March for your community, your neighbours, friends, family, yourself. You aren’t marching for political dominance but survival and security for those you love. You are defending.

Someone buy this @tmbg.bsky.social vinyl collection for me. Thank you in advance! 🙏🏻 #tmbg tmbgshop.com/collections/...