I love when I get to quote this

I guess my biggest question is why wall mount them, and why not move the mirror.

Love my heated poncho

Why am I awake at 6 am? I let Barb sleep in the bed with me and this was how long it took me to get tired of the playful scratches and bites. She did really good for like 4 hours though.

"Oops, I wasn't listening to your story" -BMO Fucking mood

The 12 days of Christmas gifts were ALL birds.. 364 mf birds. I'm going to need a minute.

Not the tiktok ad for migration to Canada lmao

Not me spilling weed 😭😭

My reaction to a nice booty pic on a Thur afternoon

Can y'all believe that my mom waited a week, after I broke my arm, before taking me to the dr? I can.

I love my sweet void 🖤

If you want a card mailed to you, pls dm me your address. (Some of y'all I already have addresses for)

So my company is doing a meeting to discuss if Die Hard is a Christmas movie or not. I've been waiting for this moment. Of Home Alone is a Christmas movie than so is Die Hard.

Being a nosy neighbor this morning

This is probably why I don't get replies. My humor is misunderstood.

I'd make a complete fool of myself just to see you smile.

Not Teen Titans referencing the Winnie the Pooh horror movie 😂

Syd made us some chicken noodle soup that's yummy.

sorry for oversharing,,,it will most likely happen again

Syd has greatly affected my music taste this year lol.

Because fuck working

Time for the monthly: "Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?"

It's really hard to detach, something like a band or show, from the person that introduced you to it. Specifically when you dislike the person.

$1.70 for a stamp to send a letter to Canada. Bitch the picture was $0.16, plus the envelope lol.

Ah bluesky wrapped, were I see the person's pfp I've been avoiding. I wish I could talk about what they did and how it's going to fuck me up for years. People of the same hair color will trigger me. I truly hate them and wish them the worst in life.

Also today

Just started puking so I'm sick sick

I'm over being sick. The fatigue is awful.

She's insisting that my ears need cleaned, but I disagree lol

I've stolen my dad's phone #hackedbycat

The biting is turning into cleaning. While sweeter, I find it more painful than bites. Feels like she's licking my skin layers away lol.

This is where Barb got her full name from. Barbara Manatee. She learned French so he'd take her to the ball, and the mf can't even dance, smh 😒

"I guess I'm just too tough to cry"

🎵 Cookie Cat, he left his family behind 🎵

I hate how depressed I get when I'm sick.

Today can go to hell

My problem is expecting to find smart people in one of the dumbest states there is.

There's only a small amount of Christmas songs I actually like. His favorite Christmas story - capitol lights, and 12 days of Christmas - relient k.

Must we puke in 4 different spots of the rug?

Feeling bleh this morning.

I think I might be getting a cold.

A 44 yr old woman with 'big texter' in her bio, matching with me and then giving short responses 😔🙄

Barb is like a sour patch kid. Sour, sweet, gone, and then repeat

Fuck.. another cord chewer, and she's trying to control my tablet.

Horseshoe is checking out the inside

Kitty traffic jam 🚗 🚗 🚗and testing weight limits 😬 on the Christmas box 🎄

The best messages 🥰

They're cuddling 🥹 Also, y'all there's a blanket and warmer spot inside the box, but laying on top is good enough ig lol

Barb turned on the bathroom sync. Not sure how long she's been running hot water lol

Good morning and happy Dec. Hope y'all have a great day 🫶🏻🫂