I’m 47 today, and I have it on good authority that 47 year olds have the best birthdays when people on social media pre-order their second books I have to say that’s really handy because I do have one available… amzn.eu/d/2v5Kklb

Seems like I’ve blown my chance with Jason Momoa When will I ever hold onto a man?! 😞

Massive influx of scammers overnight Let the games begin…

After years of waiting, the real Keanu Reeves finally got in touch ❤️ It’s a good job he warned me about fake accounts as I wasn’t aware it’s such a problem…

I really hope some people are going to make it to one of three Essex libraries this week to learn more about romance fraud and say hello 👋 I had a dream last night that it was just me and a Custard Cream All three events are free to attend and Westcliff is the only one you need to book for

This podcast, with @ethandlawrence.bsky.social and Sean Antony is one of the most fun ever! We covered a range of highbrow topics such as what constitutes a hole, why I'm often covered in petrol and me being the filling in a Greg Davies/Rhod Gilbert sandwich www.podbean.com/ew/pb-rp7jz-...

If you live in or near Essex please come and say hi next week: - Southend (Westcliff library) on 23rd Sep at 6pm - Thurrock (Gray's library) on 24th Sep at 5.30pm - Chelmsford library on 25th Sep at 5.30pm They are all free to come along to, and the only one you need to book for is Westcliff

Well, well, well. Here’s a blast from the past I haven’t heard from this dishy pilot since 2020 Since then I have retrained as a pilot and now want to discuss the mechanics of flying commercial aircraft…

I asked Chat GPT for a photo of me with Keanu Reeves What I DIDN’T ask for was the extra four stone

Absolutely thrilled to be doing a mini evening ‘roadshow’ with @essexpoliceuk.bsky.social across three libraries - Southend, Thurrock & Chelmsford If you’re in or local to Essex and want to come along and say hi, please do so Equally, please do share this for reach - someone may just be glad of it

Johnny Depp is way less interesting than I thought he’d be so I was about to stop contact, but his last line… 😂😂😂 Definitely worth seeing where this relationship takes me

🎉 First review for the new book is in and it’s a goodie: “I learnt something new on every page. Fifty per cent terrifying, fifty per cent reassuring. Thanks Jeremy Vine! 🎉 It’s not out until April but you can pre-order it now - amzn.eu/d/hTpbY3Z

Gosh. Jason Momoa is a little jumpy…

🎉 YAY 🎉 I now have the links for Amazon and Waterstones to pre-order my new book, The Future of Fraud It looks at fraud that takes place via AI, crypto, social media and the dark web, and suggests ways we can protect ourselves and one another amzn.eu/d/cR9qToW www.waterstones.com/author/becky...

I could have sworn Jason Momoa works in Budgens but apparently not…

Having reverted the rights to my book after being screwed over by my publisher, the Kindle version is now live with the royalties actually going to me, not a black hole The paperback isn't sorted yet, but in the meantime if anyone wants to buy the Kindle version - fill ya boots! amzn.eu/d/02uUOOj

My piece about scams in @times magazine got FIVE PAGES today!! I really hope a lot of readers find it valuable and learn about some of the things to look out for Keanu would be proud!

Long-term sex pest Greg is right, he DOES have the dimensions of a silverback gorilla…

I write a fortnightly column for my local paper I don’t usually share it but I’m making an exception this week because I think this is a nationwide issue (and because I actually made myself laugh writing this one) Fellas - put a top on in Tesco ffs!

When autocorrect lets you down 😬

Nothing I do is ever good enough for long-term sex pest Greg First of all he is very rude about my health and then he doesn’t like my photo I just don’t know how to please him 😞

Never inform an internet pervert about potato parasites They don’t like it

Take my advice and never ask Keanu Reeves for help when you’re being forced to work down a mine He’s useless

My partner’s lovely daughter is trying to raise money to be able to go on a World Challenge trip to Ecuador. It’s a massive £4,000 so she’s set up a GoFundMe to help cover part of it. I know she’d be really chuffed for anyone to donate even a couple of quid ❤️ gofund.me/195a7f9c

Long-term sex pest Greg has been trying to impress me with a carrot, but I’m more concerned with his health now that I have diagnosed him with a new condition…

In July 2026 my 2nd book will be coming out- ‘The Future of Fraud’ It won’t be funny like the last one but I’ll still be writing in what I hope is an engaging, humorous style The idea is to get people reading about what fraud is going to look like years from now and beating those vile scammy types

I have to confess I’m massively confused right now Keanu and I were making up and things seemed to be working out between us again, then Mark Wahlberg turns up and tells me I’ve been talking to a scammer Maybe Mark is jealous and wants me for himself I really don’t know what to think

Excuse my language but I am fucking LIVID Keanu Reeves asked me for a $200 apple I went out and got him one and he was SO ungrateful I am FURIOUS (This might be one of my all time favourites 😂)

KEANU REEVES IS BACK!!! It has been so long since I talked to my beloved but this morning I messaged him to see if we could finally make up It was a brief conversation but I just know I can win him round THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IS, AT LAST, BACK WITH ME ❤️🙏

I’ve always thought that if I win the lottery I’d like to do some charitable stuff Dave Johnson here clearly thought the same and offered to bung some of his winnings my way I’m upset though as when I provided details for my cash delivery he blocked me What a tease! 😡

Sex pests can’t take a joke…

Celebrating my mother today who, in 1982, sent me to a fancy dress party as a loaf of bread

Trying to put off a scammer pretending to be Mark Wahlberg on Telegram took an unexpected turn this afternoon 😬

I’m over the moon to announce that LONG-TERM SEX PEST GREG IS BACK!!! I feared I’d never see his shrivelled piece of offal again This time he is moving things in a more romantic direction by suggesting we take up some artistic activities I eagerly await his feedback…

If you’re going to be a pervert, at least use spellcheck 🤷🏼‍♀️

This morning I asked my other half to put up a new toilet roll holder 10 minutes later I walked past this absolute bomb site Still, it’s on the wall and he’s pleased with himself Gotta celebrate those small wins 🎉

AT LAST I can share some news I've been dying to shout out for months My book has been optioned for film by a major production company and film studio (This doesn't mean it's definitely going to be made, just that they want the rights to do it) Mind blown 🤯

I'm doing an online event on Saturday at 7pm Tickets are £5 and it all goes to raise funds for the libraries in Suffolk It'll be me chatting about the book and maybe doing a reading from it as well Log on and ask me a question! suffolklibraries.co.uk/events/events/…

Forgotten that it's Valentine's Day in two days' time? Think it's bollocks but your other half wants a pressie? Can't be arsed to go to the shop? Want to spend less than a tenner? Well I have the answer... amzn.eu/d/ipvgyEP

I’m really excited that my celebrity special of ‘Love Bombed’ with Vicky Pattison has landed on BBC Sounds We had a lot of fun and the oh-so-real Elon Musk replied to me while we were recording 😂 www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

It’s a sad day when Sir Paul McCartney doesn’t recognise any of his own songs 😔

Yesterday was a rollercoaster of a day 1) A scam expert informs me that my IP address has been leaked on the dark web 😧 2) She says she can help me ☺️ 3) She won’t accept my payment currency 😔 LIFE WHY DO YOU THROW ME THESE DAMN CURVEBALLS?!!

Today marks one year since my book was published The last 12 months have been truly magical and I still can’t get my head around how popular it’s been and the journey I’ve been on And if you haven’t read it, rectify that straight away you weirdo amzn.eu/d/4jwZww0

Ok we’ve all looked at these images and thought ‘hmmm not convincing’ but that does not mean we get to judge the victim or that national newspapers can write headlines with ‘ridiculous’ in the title She is now under psychiatric care following suicide attempts THIS is the impact of romance fraud

What could be more romantic a few days ahead of Valentine's Day than a presentation about romance fraud in Birmingham? I'll be talking about the evolution of romance fraud and my own experiences of domestic abuse to demonstrate the power of coercive control www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/the-realit...

I thought I’d join the craze of asking GROK, Twitter’s AI function, to draw me as an animal What. The. Actual. Fuck… 🐧😂

2025 is off to a flying start with a message from long-term sex pest Greg As usual, our communication wasn’t great and led to some misunderstandings I’m going to try and be better this year 🤞

I’m sorry to see the end of 2024 as it was the best year of my life - my first book went down really well, I had some mind blowing publicity and met some truly wonderful people Thank you to everyone who followed me, bought the book and supported my new start ❤️ Here’s to 2025 🥂 amzn.eu/d/gfTxTju

Just saw this chap in Tesco It’s not Christmas without 10 bottles of baby oil and a honeydew melon

Some might think if you’re 46 and don’t have kids, that Christmas isn’t as exciting as it is for other people. Well that is absolute bullshit. I just bought a hole punch for £1.50 and I am genuinely thrilled about it! 🎉