In today’s Kentucky Derby, I’m betting on Zach Benson.

THAT'S A BIG GOAL FOR BUFFALO 👏 What an effort from Josh Doan to find Zach Benson! #StanleyCup 🇺🇸: /espn 🇨🇦: /Sportsnet & /TVASports 2

When you wake up and remember the Sabres eliminated the Bruins.

What do old women know. Go Sabres.

An old woman visited me in a dream and whispered "Alex Tuch hat trick tonight" in my ear and I have to be honest with you guys her breath was rancid but she has a point

When you see the smoke from Andre Rison’s house

Sorry can’t talk the house across the street from me is for sale and I have to stalk this open house and decide everyone’s character and personality from their 3 second walk up to the door.

The Sabres lost last night can we order out for dinner?

You wanted MORE Sabre playoff games. You got exactly what you wanted, he whispered.

Not that we have ever gotten hockey justice but that was hockey justice. They won that game a half hour ago.

(Tony Romo voice) I don’t know Jim!

I’m picking the oaf. Big oafie gonna put us all to bed.

Gonna snort an 8-ball of Tums

At least get to overtime so we get the point!

When the drought is over

Cool moment alert: Proof copies of my next book, soon to be seen by your eyeballs if your eyeballs like words. Postgame coming up.

I was digging holes for my wife and had to watch the 1st period on delay, but right before watching I noticed @billsenjoyer.bsky.social texted me what I thought were angry faces. So I’m watching thinking “Something bad’s gonna happen. They’re gonna be down by two.” Turns out the emoji was 🥵

I don’t have to do drugs cause the Sabres are good.

When you can go out and do yard work early because the game is gonna end early.

The Bruins are poo. (Got’em)

I have an beer. My book is out for a proof print which means in a few weeks I’m going to be bugging the shit out of you to read it, but you’ll be glad to because it’s good, which is something I’d only say after having an beer. Back to your draft talk and hockey watching.

Three straight chest-not-hurty days to enjoy

I can breathe!!

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When it’s about time

Vibes check

I hope the Bills draft a nice man.

More like ruins. (Got’em)

Joe Pera, looking around, confused as to why everyone is yelling.

If you hold your breath for four minutes Game 2 faceoff will come sooner.

Guys I can’t sleep who wants to meet at Jim’s steakout?

When you never had a doubt

What’s the opposite of garage?

Gates Orlando

The last time I watched Sabre playoff hockey has was only $3.89 a gallon.

Between here and Canalside there are at least 400,000 people down here.

I got really caffeinated this week and wrote a ridiculous series preview because I believe in my hockey team. Go Sarbes.

I hope the Sabres win.

(Aerosmith song comes on) Her: “Steve Perry?” Me: “Tyler Perry.”

Being engaged in playoff hockey is nostalgic and fun.

I don’t even like this song but it’s super 90sy. youtu.be/_m0bI82Rz_k?...

An anthem so bad is pretty fitting.

The Sabres playoff preview I wrote this morning will probably lead to there being federally mandated warnings on coffee.

Is this known? Have I scooped? Game is Sunday on NHL dot com

Me, watching a documentary about a bunch of people who pledge their lives to a fake divinity, drink a bunch of Kool-aid and die: "Idiots" Me, five minutes later: "What goathead jersey should I wear to the plaza Saturday?"

Post the best pic you have ever taken of your pet.

Lucic’s face. Big fat stupid Tim Thomas. Ray Borque’s terrible butt cut. Yes I’m ready to hate the Bruins again.

🥶

Kids are gonna watch the face off of this first playoff game, have no idea what they’re in for, and watch Malenstyn destroy someone in the corner 6 seconds in and lose their minds.

When you win the division that has 4 of the last 6 cup winners