All we need now is one guy to choke on a McRib.

These videos will get worse the more you don't buy my book. Get 'Unbelievable' at gregbauch.com Go to the book release party at Fattey Wurlitzer Wednesday July 1st, 6 PM, 908 Niagara Falls Blvd. Read more books.

Soccer coaches all look like James Bond villains

These videos will get worse the more you don't buy my book. Get 'Unbelievable' at gregbauch.com Go to the book release party at Fattey Wurlitzer Wednesday July 1st, 6 PM, 908 Niagara Falls Blvd. Read more books.

Movies leaving streaming service soon because there's not enough room. We have to move around some of these boxes just to keep the movies we have. I can't even walk around in this room from all these movies we stream for you.

When I see colonization

I’ll say it. I hate the cup guy.

Renting a storefront in a small town and running a cute anti home store with faux chalk signs that say “home is where the beef is” and decorative pillows that say “greed” as an art project

Why can’t they use their hands?

Feeling great today so I went and saw 22 medical specialists

Man I wish I had that Knicks moment for me

We also got @robingriswold.bsky.social to write some thoughts on life, the Knicks, and the Sabres among other things.

“Just an endless stream of shit coming out of the corpse. The National Guard’s stacking sandbags but it’s no use. The shit has broken containment. And what is this? Vultures have swarmed but they’re quickly leaving. They want no part of the carcass. Wait one took some neck fat. Postgame coming up.”

Wednesday July 1 at Fattey Beer Wurlitzer. Your first chance to get a copy of Unbelievable. I'll have copies and a few surprised. You'll have beer. It's win win! Be there at 6 pm. gregbauch.com

Boxing movies work because everyone believes they’re one training montage away from putting their lives together.

I know you've mentioned this before but Dylan Larkin is the most cotton Dockers ass name around.

Dylan honey we have a whole district filled with food trucks ready for you.

Someone with photoshop do an 82-0 post with the athletes' names replaced with "Khan" "Grant" "Xerxes" and "Belisarius"

Look I'm still not over no goal so you guys are gonna have to handle the jack adams stuff.

If you're recording an audio book, don't have a German Shepherd who acts like everyone who walks by your house is a terrorist.

Make a documentary sound like innuendo by changing zero words I’ll go first - My Octopus Teacher

It could Moby Dick, a Bills story or your tweet, but if you use the word "however" I will read it in my head as Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny saying "However, in 1964, the correct ignition timing would be four degrees before top-dead-center."

New to the NBA and checking out game 7? I can help. Victor Webmania is from Europe.

Sex is good but have you ever just finished mowing the lawn?

I know I’m insane because if this were the Sabres instead of Montreal I’d be fully confident they could come back and win.

Get yer eyeballs ready for July 1 Official release date for ‘Unbelievable’ Release party info to come I just dry heaved a couple times.

Get yer eyeballs ready for July 1 Official release date for ‘Unbelievable’ Release party info to come I just dry heaved a couple times.

Movies where they’re watching a movie and then I’m like I wanna watch THAT movie.

Make your art so fucking hard, kids.

This is the final copy. Release date coming this week I can’t wait for you to read this.

When hockey hands you lemons, pound'em for juice. Read some words to pass the time til October.

Any distraction is appreciated. The Sabres gave me a five-month mind spa.

Osthlund, Kulich, Helenius, Benson, Doan and that D. Next year will be fun.

When it doesn’t even matter because hockey is fun again.

Nonetheless

Yes Carolina needed more energy spent from these two.

Who blows a whistle? Honestly.

I haven’t seen a defense like this since OJ

I for one am ready to party

When it doesn’t even matter because hockey is fun again.

Yelled "JFG" to my cardiologist today and he told me to calm down.

(Lockeroom after this win) Lindy: “Where’s Metsa? Hey. What’s with that goal you were on the ice for in October?”

When you get to burn away your stomach walls with acid one more night.

The silence in that arena is a beautiful sound

Do you guys think MC Hammer got paid for that Geico commercial?

I’ll go to my grave knowing that the play is, when your stick breaks, go straight to the bench.

Stop the count!

When the Guess Your Weight guy scores