Son wanted an ice cream so took him to the local, slightly dated but with a reto charm to ice cream parlour. I ordered at the counter and the older waitress looked a bit down. I made poliet small take while she made the Sundae: "So how are you today?" To which she replied, "My soul is tired."

Traditions...

LNER still running variations on this advert; it's not just me is it? Is it?

What do you drink when you are not drinking? Got to go to a works do in another town so going to drive. Don't want to drink fizzy drinks all night as I dont like them. Or have the grief of obviously not drinking from people. Tonic water? Guinness Zero? Surely there are better options?

Has anyone seen that new LNER advert on instagram? What were they thinking? Just looks like someone's on their way to wank someone off.

when I worked at a bank someone came in with half a five pound note and asked to put £2.50 in his account

Notification my VPN subscription just expired. #LeSigh

When I'm having a bad day I remind myself that the world is my oyster. Because I hate oysters.

Stuck on a Carlisle industrial estate for the next three hours due to a smashed windscreen rather than... well anything really.

@jenbren.bsky.social Happy Birthday!

I sat alone in the canteen today. I stared out of the window at the falling snow wondering what it would be like if I poured gravy into a bag of Flame Grilled Steak McCoy's. Eventually, I returned to my desk. A gravy stain down my shirt.

Not feeling particularly international today.

I don' care if it makes me a bad person: When I see someone riding a bike with no hands, I want them to fall off.

I've been on a training course today that was compressed from two days into one day. Strangley it simultaneously felt like you could see where they were rushing to fit it in and cut stuff short but also they whole thing could just have easily been done in an hour or two.

Also they also claim their overnight/carry-on bags take ALL the stress out of travelling. Not sure a bag would've stopped the suspicious drugs testing and very thorough search I got in Kingston airport when trying to travel out of Jamaica.

I'm tired... I could stop there but... of companies trying to push the 'ultimate' travel backpack on me then showimg me a video of someone storing their phone in it (?) and packing a laptop, one jumper, one tshirt and just one spare shoe.

The 90s: When you could still find porn in bushes but could no longer find bushes in porn.

I'm not even a massive fan of the show but just seen Stranger Things: The First Shadow and fucking wow!

I keep looking at this above the bar and thinking there's probably something funny to say about it. But honestly I just can't think what it is. Im not sure why; has the ability gone or just the will. Perhaps something has died in me... possibly in all of us.

Someone's built a bloody massive church in front of what would've been a lovely view from the new office.

Also when did people just start eating boiled eggs with their bare hands in public. What happened to shame? Call me old fashioned but an egg is something that should be eaten in the privacy of your own home.

Bus replacment between Darlington and Doncaster and now the tubes are off where I need to get so will to have to try and walk from closest one still on. Left the house at 2pm after a wedding yesterday. I'm very tired, and could do without walking around London in the dark with my sense of direction.

I suspect this is going to be the first year we start to see people in the UK attempt to refer to autumn as 'Stick Season' and claim they always have. It's really going to test my ethical beliefs on crime and punishment.

I have to go to London for a few days next week. Stranger Things The First Shadow has been suggested for something to do? Anyone been? Is it worth it after a busy day or just head for food instead. I watched the first couple of seasons but otherwise hadn't heard of this.

A challenging wank but at least I didn't need to have my ID verified.

My local Indian Restaurant The New Bengal was burnt down a few years back. When it reopened they renamed it: The New New Bengal. Just read a story that it's been taken over and the new owner has some 'new' plans for it... They've got to haven't they?!

You call it what you want Greggs but this is clearly a job posting for a sausage roll taster. Expect my CV today.

I have to walk past 4 pubs and a chip shop on my way to the gym. But here I am. Really impressed with myself as I didn't think I could lift anything while this drunk. The battered sausage must've soaked it up.

I often wonder if I still haven't heard my favourite song but I wonder how many songs I love I've already heard for the last time?

Brains are strange things. I've been having spells of death anxiety recently. So often find myself thinking about the impacts of it etc. but then randomly my brain will just slip out of it and think "Hey, we haven't used a cash machine in I dont know how many years!"

I read a book recently about aging. There was a quote that people get old when they stop thinking about the future, their dreams and aspirations. I think there's another indicator of the tipping point though. It's when hearing the music of your adolescence makes you feel sad rather than happy.

I wasn't sure but recently thought the blonde, tattooed woman in greggs might be flirting. This morning when I walked in she said I saw you coming so I've put your coffee on. Now, I'm not very good at picking up or reading signals but... this was the bacon sandwich she made me:

Night cap.

On reflectiion it might've actually been too hot for camping up a hill. My emergency jelly babies have melting in my bag into a John Carpenter-esque mess.

Genuinely dont know how I feel about this: On one hand I think sports people who want to play in front of large crowds should be able to do it with out expecting silence. But on the other hand when there is silence the person who waits for appluse to stop then shouts something should be executed. 🤔

Could someone more knowledgeable than me explain this: In doubles tennis, when the none serving partner is crouching down by the net, how does server resist smashing the ball into their arse?

Someone messaged with a request for some info 'urgently'. Spent morning pulling it together, delayed other stuff, got it to them and messaged to check they understood and that it closed the issue. They replied saying, Thanks, I'll have a look at it later. Later! Not that fucking urgent was it!

On the subject of society's rules: Places that only serve Yorkshires with beef can fuck off. I want them with pork or chicken! Don't start with crackling and stuffing as the alternative timings. It's like saying well, if you want a blowjob you've got to have anal. Admitted not 'exactly' like that…

Genuinely believe we are about 2 years away from a society where, on the road, no one moves out the way to allow ambulances through. There's an entitlement crisis. Merge in turn is gone already.

Working in the office today. Arrived to find 90 pence on my desk (one 50p, two 20p) and my chair relined slightly. Did someone owe me? Do I now owe somebody? Is it a comment on my worth or attitude? This is exactly how phycological unraveling begins before a decent into madness. Well played…

My favourite thing to do in an Internet argument when someone jumps being a dick or rude or aggressive, is to respond super politely & reasonable then keep the conversation going till they see that, calm down and often apologise about their original message. Then I tell them to go fuck themselves!

How can it possibly take 5 trains to get between two cities in England. How? 5 hours! What a waste of my life doing this shite. To attend a half day meeting on how to improve productivity! Suspect it's going to be a very hard session for organisers. Still, at least only 40 of us are having to go.

Anyone been to Royston? Got to go last minute for work. Anything good to do in Royston? Im usually suspicious of anywhere that takes three trains to get to.

Genuinely though, good ASMR feels like what I imagine a good degaussing would feel like.

Growing up in the 80s and 90s tonight me alot about how to look after myself; I just need to work out whether I need to be degaussed or defragged.

Had quite nerdy hobbies as a kid. Often I see something I had for sale. Today a book I had, sold for over £400. Sadly my mam binned everything in the loft. Genuinely think I'd be close to retiring if I still had that stuff to sell. More upset that went than at her burning the photos of me as a kid.

Can I ask you a question? When you listen to music, do you hear it from left to right or right to left or dose it come towards you like a road or a river? Or does it arrive in a different way?

everybody yurts sometimes

Honestly though I've seen that there is apparently uproar about staying in yurts and I genuinely don't think I could predict how people I follow would react. It sounds like they think yurts are bad? Is that the consensus?

Just catching up and I'm going to have to I've honest and say I've never heard of Yurt but will probably still watch them headline Glastonbury.